Welcome to my Blog

Most people don’t arrive here because something dramatic has happened.

They arrive because something feels… different.

The relationship still works. Conversations still happen. Life continues.

But something important is no longer organizing it the way it used to.

This space is where I write about that shift.

Not just what breaks relationships—but what quietly changes them:

  • how desire adapts.

  • how attention moves.

  • how meaning erodes or deepens over time.

These patterns are not random.
They tend to unfold in a predictable sequence.

If you’re here, you’re likely in one of those moments:

  • trying to understand what changed.

  • trying to decide whether it matters.

  • trying to figure out what to do next.

Start anywhere.

But if something here feels familiar, don’t treat it as abstract.

It usually isn’t.

Where to Begin

If you’re not sure what you’re looking for, these are a few good entry points:

If You’re Looking for More Than Insight

Understanding is useful.

But at a certain point, most couples realize they can explain their relationship clearly—and still not change it.

That’s where focused work becomes effective.

I offer structured, high-impact couples intensives designed to produce meaningful movement in a compressed period of time.

Before We Decide Anything

A brief consultation helps determine:

  • whether this is what you’re dealing with.

  • whether this format fits.

  • and whether we should move forward.

Get a Clear Read on Your Relationship

Take your time reading.

But if something here lands in a way that feels specific—pay attention to that.

That’s usually where this work begins.

Continue Exploring

If you prefer to browse more broadly, you can explore posts by topic below.

But most people don’t find what they need by browsing.

They find it when something they read feels uncomfortably accurate.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
~ Daniel

 

Signs of Trouble Daniel Dashnaw Signs of Trouble Daniel Dashnaw

Understanding Cognitive Dissonance: A Classic Social Psychology Experiment

Imagine you're an undergrad at Stanford in 1954, clueless about the groundbreaking experiment you're about to be a part of.

Festinger and Carlsmith's study on cognitive dissonance is about to turn your perception of boredom and deception on its head…

You agree to participate in a two-hour experiment on 'measures of performance,' thinking it's just another requirement for your course. Little do you know, this experiment will become a cornerstone in social psychology…

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The problem with being defensive…

Defensiveness is marriage one of the most pervasive of Gottman’s four horsemen of the apocalypse.

The problem with being defensive is that when you’re feeling attacked, it keeps you stuck in your own head.

Many couples slide into conflictual conversations too casually, easily and quickly… do you?

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Narcissism and decision-making: the counter-factual thinking deficit…

Toxic, debilitating narcissism presents a complex interplay of traits that can significantly influence decision-making processes and executive functioning.

Recent research has delved into the nuanced dynamics of narcissism, particularly focusing on the concept of a deficit in counter-factual thinking and its implications.

What is Counter-Factual Thinking?

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What is the Illusion of Truth?

Psychologists call it ‘the Illusion of Truth’ and politicians and advertisers are all deeply versed in it.

What is the Illusion of Truth Effect?

Many studies have found that simple repetition is one of the best persuasion methods… whether the idea is true, or not…

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How often do couples fight?

The frequency of fighting is no reliable guide to marital bliss.

Some strong, vibrant couples are very volatile and clash readily.

And then there are conflict-avoidant couples that avoid fighting …right smack into a crisis...

Let’s learn more…

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Is there hope for my marriage after separation?

An Ohio State University study discovered that nearly 80% of separated couples ultimately divorce.

Some therapists have set up small cottage industries specializing in drafting separation agreements.

At the risk of sounding flip, a couples therapist who specializes in crafting separation agreements is like a surgeon who brags that they own a chain of funeral parlors…

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