When Sarah and Matt Deptula walked into my office, they were in the middle of a standoff—not with each other, but with Matt’s parents.

The issue? Their 2-year-old daughter, Ella, and a Facebook-worthy meltdown over a boundary they’d set with her grandparents.

“It started with the snacks,” Sarah explained, visibly exasperated. “We asked them not to give Ella sweets before dinner. They said, ‘Of course,’ but the next thing I know, she’s scoffing down chocolate bars the size of her head.”

Matt chimed in, “When I brought it up, my mom acted like I’d accused her of a crime. She said, ‘Grandparents are supposed to spoil their grandkids! You’re too strict.’” He sighed. “Now she’s posting these vague memes on Facebook about how kids today don’t respect their elders.”

The Backlash Begins

The Martinez family is like a lot of families I see—tight-knit, fiercely loyal, and loaded with intergenerational quirks that are equal parts endearing and exhausting.

Carlos is 36, the middle child of three, is the founder of a thriving PR firmand a self-described "recovering perfectionist."

He grew up in a household where survival often trumped emotional connection. His parents, immigrants from El Salvador, had faced unimaginable hardships.

They gave their kids everything they could—except, perhaps, the tools to process feelings like guilt, fear, or joy.

“Everything was about ‘working harder,’” Carlos told me. “If I got a B on a test, my mom would say, ‘Why not an A?’ And if I got an A, she’d say, ‘Why not A+?’ I didn’t even know that was a thing!”

His older sister, Sofia, coped by becoming the family comedian, using humor to defuse tension. His younger brother, Mateo, became the “golden child,” showered with praise but burdened by high expectations.

And Carlos? Carlos learned to keep his head down, excel in school, and never, ever make waves.

But now, Carlos was here in therapy, armed with a Bingo card, and a deep desire to rewrite the narrative.

When Charlotte Carter first walked into my office, she had the calm, confident demeanor of someone who had been "handling things" her entire life.

At 35, she was the kind of person everyone relied on—her colleagues called her a born leader, her friends joked she was their "therapist," and her younger sister, Rachel, often referred to her as "second mom."

But as she sat down, a different side of Charlotte emerged. “I should be proud of how far I’ve come,” she said, a tremor in her voice. “But I feel...empty. Like I skipped a whole part of life I can’t get back.”

Her words weren’t unusual for someone who had grown up parentified, taking on adult responsibilities long before she should have.

Charlotte had spent her childhood caring for her younger siblings, managing the household, and emotionally supporting her mother through a turbulent divorce—all before her 16th birthday.

She had achieved a remarkable "glow-up," as social media calls it, thriving despite her early struggles. But the pride of her resilience was always tinged with sadness for the childhood she had lost.

A Childhood Spent Parenting

When Emma Reynolds walked into my office for her first session, she carried more than a notebook and an anxious smile—she carried her entire family.

Not literally, of course, but in the way that cycle-breakers do: as though she had been assigned the role of family historian, emotional janitor, and reluctant warrior, all at once.

“I’m just so tired,” she said, her voice breaking as she sank into the chair. “I’m trying to fix everything—my mom, my dad, even my brother—and it feels like I’m failing. But I can’t stop. If I don’t do it, who will?”

That’s the thing about people like Emma: they’ve appointed themselves the saviors of their families, often before anyone else even realizes there’s a problem to be saved from.

A groundbreaking 60-year study has revealed a troubling reality: men lose half their emotional support networks between the ages of 30 and 90.

Published in Psychology & Aging, this research offers a sobering look at how aging, cultural norms, and life transitions contribute to an emotional isolation crisis.

What’s more alarming is that this decline reflects more than just the passage of time. At its core lies an interplay of two powerful forces: excessive self-reliance and Cultural Narcissism.

These deeply ingrained societal narratives not only discourage men from seeking emotional connection but actively undermine their ability to build and sustain meaningful relationships.

This issue is not simply about men losing their connections—it’s about a cultural crisis that profoundly shapes how we view emotional intimacy, dependence, and human connection. Let’s explore the research and dive deeper into how these forces play out across the lifespan.

Once upon a time, postmodernism was the rebellious philosopher at the intellectual party. When I was getting my second degree at Antioch, postmodernism was all the rage.

It questioned objective truths, smashed oppressive structures, and declared that everything—from science to art—was shaped by subjective experiences.

Fast-forward to today, and postmodernism, once the darling of radical thought, is being implicated in something few could have foreseen: the rise of left-wing authoritarianism (LWA).

A new study published in Applied Cognitive Psychology found that folks with strong liberal postmodern beliefs—those who reject universal truths in favor of subjective perspectives—are more likely to support authoritarian measures, such as censorship and revolutionary justice.

Even more surprising, these authoritarian tendencies flourish when psychological distress is low.

Yes, you read that right: happy, stable people can sometimes make the most rigid ideologues. What’s going on here? Let’s dive in.

When we think about ancient history, it’s easy to imagine crumbling ruins and dusty relics—distant echoes of a world long gone.

But what if ancient civilizations left more than artifacts? What if their influence still shaped the way we live, think, and even feel today?

A recent study suggests that the Roman Empire’s legacy is doing just that in parts of Germany.

Regions in Germany that fell under Roman rule 2,000 years ago show higher levels of psychological well-being, better health, and more adaptive personality traits compared to areas that remained beyond the empire’s reach.

Published in Current Research in Ecological and Social Psychology, this groundbreaking study reveals how Roman infrastructure, institutions, and cultural advancements have left a lasting psychological and socio-economic imprint.

What do a 19th-century German philosopher, a 20th-century cultural critic, and a controversial thinker on gender have in common?

Philipp Mainländer, Albert Caraco, and Otto Weininger—each wrestling with life’s profound questions—crafted philosophies that unflinchingly confront existence’s darkest corners.

Their work challenges us to look beyond the comfort of optimism and engage with ideas that, while unsettling, may offer profound insights into the human condition.

The sudden loss of everything in a fire is a profound and disorienting experience. Beyond the destruction of physical possessions, it carries the weight of losing one’s sense of self, safety, and continuity.

For many survivors, this is not a simple loss that can be processed and resolved with time. Instead, it is a complex, layered experience that defies closure and often leaves individuals in a state of emotional limbo.

This phenomenon closely aligns with what Dr. Pauline Boss (1999) describes as ambiguous loss—a type of grief that is not clearly defined or resolved, leaving people stuck between what was and what cannot fully be let go.

In this article, we’ll explore the psychological dimensions of losing everything in a fire through the lens of ambiguous loss, drawing from research, theory, and compassionate insights to illuminate the path forward.

If Hugh Hefner’s life were a magazine spread, it would be glossy, provocative, and filled with contradictions.

To some, he was a visionary who unzipped the straitjacket of mid-20th-century sexual repression.

To others, he was a glorified pornographer in silk pajamas, peddling narcissism and commodifying women under the banner of freedom.

Love him or loathe him, Hefner’s legacy is a Rorschach test for your feelings about sex, power, and the American dream—or nightmare, depending on your vantage point.

Dearest Julia,

It is evening as I write, the lamplight flickering against the clay walls of this inn, and the pungent scent of hides heavy in the air. I have made my delivered to Pertinax, and I’ll leave for home at first light.

It clings to me, this smell of piss, no matter how hard I scrub or how often I soak myself in the baths.

Do you remember, once, how you teased me, saying I would smell like the horse piss, even if I stood out all night in a storm? You laughed so freely then. I think of that sound often. I hope the children laugh as you did, even when I am not there to hear it.

The truth is, I miss you. I miss us.

Albert Caraco and Otto Weininger, two philosophers known for their bleak perspectives on humanity, might not seem like natural guides to understanding modern family dynamics. Yet their musings on chaos, mortality, identity, and responsibility offer surprising insights for families navigating the complexities of today’s fragmented world.