Your sister was your first enemy and your last text. Your brother knows where the emotional bodies are buried—and still shows up with snacks. Welcome to the age of sibling loyalty, where shared trauma turns into shared strength.

In a world where vertical family ties—parent to child, elder to youth—are fraying under pressure, horizontal bonds are stepping in. Siblings, once relegated to punchlines and rivalries, are becoming emotional anchors in adult life.

This post explores the quiet rise of the sibling pact: mutual loyalty, emotional caretaking, and secret memes forged in childhood chaos and carried into adult resilience.

As extended families scatter and parental support erodes, American siblinghood may be evolving into the final frontier of family solidarity.

Intergenerational trauma isn’t just a metaphor—it’s a biological and psychological reality. Studies show that unresolved trauma can be passed down in three major ways:

Neurobiological Transmission

Trauma changes the stress regulation system of the brain, affecting cortisol levels, amygdala reactivity, and hippocampal function (Yehuda & Bierer, 2009). These altered stress responses can be inherited, predisposing the next generation to heightened anxiety and reactivity.

Epigenetics and Trauma

Research on Holocaust survivors, Rwandan genocide survivors, and children of war veterans has found evidence of epigenetic markers linked to trauma.

These markers influence how stress-related genes are expressed in offspring, even if they never experienced the trauma firsthand (Tyrka et al., 2016).

Welcome to Passive Aggression 101: The fine art of being upset without actually admitting it.

Because Nothing Says “I Love You” Like “Fine. Whatever.”

Some families express love with warm hugs and direct communication.

Other families?

They express love with deep sighs, vague texts, and the occasional aggressively polite, “I just think it’s funny how…”

If you’ve ever…

• Heard “Wow, must be nice to have free time.” when you didn’t call someone back fast enough…

• Been on the receiving end of “I’ll just do it myself, I guess.”…

• Witnessed an aunt dramatically rearrange furniture instead of saying she’s mad at your mom…

Congratulations. You are fluent in passive aggression.

How to Stop Feeling Like the ‘Bad Guy’ for Setting Boundaries

You finally did it.
You set the boundary.
You said no instead of people-pleasing.
You chose your peace over their expectations.

And now?

• You feel like a horrible person.

• You’re questioning whether you were “too harsh.”

• You’re worried you’ve hurt people who “didn’t mean harm.”

If this sounds familiar, I have good news: Feeling guilty for setting boundaries doesn’t mean you did something wrong—it means you’re breaking an old survival pattern.

Boundaries aren’t mean.
Boundaries aren’t selfish.
Boundaries aren’t weapons—they’re the structure that protects your mental health.

So why do so many of us feel like the bad guy when we enforce them?

When couples walk into therapy, they’re usually ready to talk about their relationship—the arguments, the passion, the shared laundry wars.

What often gets ignored, however, is the complex web of outside relationships that subtly shape their dynamics. Friends, family, colleagues, and even that one overly chatty barista can all play a role in the health of a couple’s bond.

As a couples therapist, I’ve seen how these external connections can act as either lifeboats or anchors. Let’s explore the science, the stories, and the strategies for navigating the role of outside relationships in your marriage or partnership.

Franz Kafka’s reflections on friendship offer a timeless lens through which we can examine the fractures and reconnections that define modern American family estrangements.

As Kafka wrestled with the paradoxes of intimacy and isolation, he illuminated truths about the human condition that resonate profoundly in our era of growing disconnection.

In many LGBTQ+ communities, weddings often look less like a Hallmark scene and more like a joyful reunion of chosen family.

It’s not uncommon for ex-partners to play central roles: officiating, giving toasts, or simply sharing in the celebration.

This cultural phenomenon isn’t just a quirky detail—it reflects a deeply rooted set of values about community, connection, and the ability to redefine relationships.

When we think of family dynamics, the "gay uncle" often appears as the fun-loving, wise, and endlessly entertaining relative who brings both humor and heart to family gatherings.

While pop culture and social media have popularized the term, there’s more to the "gay uncle" identity than meets the eye.

From evolutionary psychology to cultural sociology, this phenomenon provides a fascinating glimpse into how LGBTQ+ individuals enrich family systems in unique and impactful ways.

With another election season behind us, therapists everywhere may be gearing up for a busy post-election holiday season.

Political divides can run deep, and family gatherings in these times are rarely immune to the pressures of differing opinions and generational clashes.

Yet, the season also holds the potential for understanding, empathy, and—perhaps—a family truce.

As middle-aged couples move into the next phase of life, caregiving for aging parents can become a central and emotionally complex responsibility.

Whether it's managing daily care, juggling medical appointments, or handling the emotional weight of seeing a loved one in decline, the caregiving experience can take a toll on even the strongest marriages.

The stress of balancing these demands can lead to burnout, conflict, and even resentment, making it vital for couples to work together as a team.

Research shows that caregiving can strain mental and physical health, with many caregivers experiencing increased levels of depression, anxiety, and physical ailments.

According to Dr. Richard Schulz, a leading expert in caregiving research, “Caregivers often report feeling isolated and unsupported, which can worsen the strain they already feel” (Schulz & Sherwood, 2008). Navigating this challenging life stage while preserving the health of your marriage requires a combination of open communication, mutual support, and strategic planning.

In this post, we’ll explore how middle-aged couples can navigate the caregiving journey, maintain their relationship, and avoid falling into the caregiving trap of overextension and burnout.

Becoming a grandparent is one of life’s sweetest rewards, a time to shower little ones with love without the responsibilities of daily parenting.

But it also comes with challenges, especially when you’re navigating this new role as a middle-aged couple, learning to balance support with maintaining healthy boundaries.

As exciting as grandparenthood is, it’s easy to find yourselves walking the tightrope between being helpful and accidentally overstepping.

The key is to approach grandparenting as a team, creating a unified approach to support your children and grandchildren while preserving your own relationship and respecting boundaries.

Let’s dive deeper into how you and your partner can enjoy grandparenting, offer meaningful help, and still protect the independence of your adult children.

The Election is Coming—So is the Emotional Rollercoaster.

As the election looms on the horizon, it’s not just campaign ads and debates that are heating up—it’s the emotional temperature of many households.

Whether it’s your friends, your family, or even your partner, navigating political conversations during this time can feel like diffusing a bomb while riding a rollercoaster.

Election anxiety is real, and it’s hitting harder than ever.

In the era of 24/7 news cycles and politically charged social media, many of us are experiencing what I like to call “Emotional Election Burnout.”

But here’s the good news: you can reclaim your sanity (and your relationships) during the election season with a few therapeutic strategies.

This post might help guide you through the chaos. I’ll try to offer tips grounded in social science research and humor to help you survive election season intact.

Because if there’s one thing more exhausting than political debates, it’s political debates with your loved ones. Let’s save those relationships, shall we?