A Frank and Candid Discussion of Fees and Scope of Our Work Together
Let’s begin with the question most couples whisper but rarely say aloud:
“Are we about to make this worse?”
They don’t ask because they’re cynical.
They ask because they understand something fragile is still functioning.
The marriage may be dim.
It may be stale.
It may be operating on polite autopilot.
But it is operating.
And once certain truths are spoken, they cannot be unsaid.
That is not paranoia.
That is discernment.
The Profession’s Quiet Mistake
Couples therapy has a pacing problem.
The default prescription is charmingly uniform:
One hour.
Once a week.
Forever, if necessary.
As though every relational wound were a paper cut.
But relationships do not rupture politely.
Some couples are bored.
Some are bleeding.
And treating boredom and hemorrhage the same way is not compassionate. It is lazy.
When Therapy Actually Makes Things Worse
Therapy goes sideways when:
Emotional intensity outruns containment.
Disclosure is pushed before safety exists.
Flooding is mistaken for breakthrough.
The therapist confuses volatility with depth.
In those rooms, therapy does not produce clarity.
It produces spectacle.
And spectacle destabilizes.
Most couples who fear therapy are not afraid of honesty.
They are afraid of chaos.
That fear is intelligent.
Two Couples, Two Realities
Imagine two marriages.
The first is quiet.
Functional.
A little lonely.
They argue about dishes and sex and tone of voice, but nothing is on fire.
The second marriage is three weeks post-affair.
Phones are checked.
Sleep is fractured.
The word “divorce” has been spoken at least once.
If you offer these couples identical pacing, you are not neutral.
You are imprecise.
The Rule: The Format Follows the Wound
I do not offer packages.
I recommend structure based on acuity.
Not preference.
Not mood.
Not panic.
Acuity.
Level I: Structured Reconstruction
10 Hours — $3,000
For couples who are intact but stagnant:
Predictable conflict loops.
Sexual drift.
Emotional flattening.
Chronic misattunement.
These couples do not need emotional theatrics.
They need discipline.
Ten structured hours.
Clear architecture.
Skill refinement.
Pattern interruption.
The fee is not for time.
It is for seriousness.
When couples commit to a contained block of work, they show up differently.
Level II: High-Impact Intensive
Immersive Format — $7,500
For couples in acute and active destabilization:
Affair discovery.
Imminent separation.
Severe volatility.
Trust rupture.
For some couples, weekly therapy is often too slow.
When a relationship is in shock, containment must precede exploration.
The intensive model compresses stabilization:
Emotional regulation.
Narrative clarification.
Decision scaffolding.
Coherent direction.
The fee reflects compression.
It reflects containment.
It reflects the reality that chaos does not politely resolve itself between calendar gaps.
Intensives are recommended, not self-selected.
Scarcity is deliberate.
Containment requires energy, and energy requires limits.
The Real Alternative
Most couples believe the alternative to therapy is stability.
It isn’t.
It is drift.
Less conversation.
More politeness.
Less risk.
Less aliveness.
The marriage doesn’t explode.
It thins.
And thinning is harder to reverse than conflict.
So, Will Therapy Make Things Worse?
If conducted without structure, possibly, yes.
If conducted with acuity in mind, no.
It may make things clearer.
And clarity can feel destabilizing — especially if you’ve grown accustomed to quiet compromise.
But clarity is not destruction.
It is information.
If you are asking whether therapy will make things worse, something meaningful is still at stake.
You do not need to decide the entire future.
You need to decide whether drift is acceptable.
Some couples need reconstruction.
Some need stabilization.
The format follows the wound.
That is the model.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.