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An evidence-based Couples Therapy Intensive is a comprehensive, and highly effective approach to healing damaged intimate bonds. Science-based methods such as the Gottman and Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapies have been clinically proven to de-escalate relational distress and deepen relationship satisfaction. Select a sequential, personally-tailored approach for a fast reconnect.
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ABOUT DANIEL
Hello…I’m Daniel Dashnaw
I am a science-based marriage and family therapist.
As co-founder of a large international couples therapy practice, I developed award winning blog content that our clients could use to turbo-charge their couples therapy.
Today I maintain a small private practice in the Berkshires, and on Cape Cod.
I also work with motivated couples on Zoom from all over the world.
When I was writing content in my former life, I found myself working with with C-level executives, business owners, creatives, and power couples.
What I learned is that we all put our pants on one leg at a time…
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Moral Offloading (n.)
A psychological defense in which a person participates in behavior that conflicts with their values and preserves their moral self-concept by relocating responsibility onto their partner.
In a recent study published in Sexual and Relationship Therapy, researcher K. Doan and colleagues examined women in committed relationships who had viewed pornography within the past six months.
Here is what they found:
For women who did not morally object to pornography, watching it with a partner did not increase sexual shame.
For women who morally disapproved, mutual viewing predicted increased sexual shame.
Increased sexual shame predicted lower sexual satisfaction.
Lower sexual satisfaction predicted lower overall relationship satisfaction.
However, when these women externalized blame — attributing the viewing primarily to their partner — the decline in satisfaction softened.
In other words:
If the behavior violated her values, shame rose.
If she relocated responsibility, the shame’s impact on satisfaction decreased.
That is not hypocrisy.
That is psychology.