Welcome to my Blog
Most people don’t arrive here because something dramatic has happened.
They arrive because something feels… different.
The relationship still works. Conversations still happen. Life continues.
But something important is no longer organizing it the way it used to.
This space is where I write about that shift.
Not just what breaks relationships—but what quietly changes them:
how desire adapts.
how attention moves.
how meaning erodes or deepens over time.
These patterns are not random.
They tend to unfold in a predictable sequence.
If you’re here, you’re likely in one of those moments:
trying to understand what changed.
trying to decide whether it matters.
trying to figure out what to do next.
Start anywhere.
But if something here feels familiar, don’t treat it as abstract.
It usually isn’t.
Where to Begin
If you’re not sure what you’re looking for, these are a few good entry points:
Marriage Is Still Chosen — Even by Those Who Once Stood Outside It.
Epistemic Safety: What It Is and Why It Matters in Relationships.
The Relationship Consequences of Living in a Permanent News Cycle.
The Two Types of People Narcissists Avoid (And Why You Might Be One of Them).
When Narcissists Grieve: Why Their Mourning Looks Cold, Delayed, or Self-Centered
The 3-6-9 Dating Rule: Why Most Relationships Change at Month 3, 6, and 9.
The First Listener Shift: A Precise Relationship Diagnostic Most Couples Miss.
Why Curiosity Is Sacred in Relationships (And What Happens When It Disappears).
If You’re Looking for More Than Insight
Understanding is useful.
But at a certain point, most couples realize they can explain their relationship clearly—and still not change it.
That’s where focused work becomes effective.
I offer structured, high-impact couples intensives designed to produce meaningful movement in a compressed period of time.
Before We Decide Anything
A brief consultation helps determine:
whether this is what you’re dealing with.
whether this format fits.
and whether we should move forward.
Get a Clear Read on Your Relationship
Take your time reading.
But if something here lands in a way that feels specific—pay attention to that.
That’s usually where this work begins.
Continue Exploring
If you prefer to browse more broadly, you can explore posts by topic below.
But most people don’t find what they need by browsing.
They find it when something they read feels uncomfortably accurate.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
~ Daniel
- Attachment Issues
- Coronavirus
- Couples Therapy
- Extramarital Affairs
- Family Life and Parenting
- How to Fight Fair
- Inlaws and Extended Families
- Intercultural Relationships
- Marriage and Mental Health
- Married Life & Intimate Relationships
- Neurodiverse Couples
- Separation & Divorce
- Signs of Trouble
- Social Media and Relationships
- What Happy Couples Know
How to Stop Being a Narcissist
Narcissism, often viewed through the lens of grandiosity and self-absorption, is a complex personality trait that can significantly impact interpersonal relationships and overall well-being.
For those wondering "how to stop being a narcissist," understanding the roots of narcissistic behavior and exploring effective treatment methods is crucial.
This discussion will consider the psychoanalytical tradition of long-term talk therapy and compare it with treatment approaches implied by Dr. Craig Malkin’s work.
We’ll also examine how narcissism has become a cultural frame, gnawing away at our collective empathy.
The Two Types of People Narcissists Avoid (And Why You Might Be One of Them)
Narcissists are known for their cunning ability to charm, manipulate, and influence those around them.
Their survival strategy revolves around acquiring narcissistic supply, which comes from the admiration, attention, and validation they receive from others.
However, not everyone is susceptible to their tactics.
In fact, there are two distinct types of folks that narcissists tend to avoid like the plague: those with strong discernment and those who are self-sustaining.
Let’s explore why these two groups are the kryptonite to a narcissist’s manipulative superpowers, with insights from thought leaders in psychology and relationships.
Why the narcissist stops having sex with you
The cessation of sexual activity in a relationship with a narcissist is really not all that complicated.
Narcissists often exhibit behaviors that can be confusing and hurtful, particularly in intimate relationships.
Understanding why a narcissist might stop having sex with their partner requires only a brief reminder of their psychological makeup, relationship dynamics, and the impact on the non-narcissistic partner. Narcissists are usually quite predictable.
13 Signs of a Narcissistic Wife
Is your wife a mystery wrapped in an enigma and topped with a sprinkle of chaos? You might be dealing with a narcissistic spouse.
Understanding these traits can help you navigate the emotional minefield with a little more ease and humor.
Here are 13 signs to watch out for…buckle up!
The Woes of the Privileged: Why we focus on life’s challenges
It’s fascinating how some people, blessed with health, success, and relative happiness, still manage to lament about being unfairly treated. Psychological research offers an intriguing explanation for this phenomenon.
Introducing the ‘Headwind Effect’ Dr. Shai Davidai and Professor Thomas Gilovich have termed this fascinating discovery the ‘headwinds/tailwinds asymmetry.’
It’s like riding a bicycle: you hardly notice the wind at your back but grumble incessantly about every gust in your face.
Our minds, it seems, are magnetically drawn to the barriers we encounter, making obstacles feel more prominent than our advantages.
Here are some eye-opening practical consequences
Climate Change and Mental Health: The growing crisis and some ideas for coping
Today, more than 25% of the world’s population reports negative feelings, such as sadness, social isolation, and loneliness.
In turn, more than 150,000 people between the ages of 15 and 29 die by suicide each year, according to data from the World Health Organization.
Although it may seem hard to believe, climate change is a direct threat that can increase these figures.
Let’s learn why…
The 10 Laws of Human Relational Stupidity
Welcome, gentle readers, to the mystifying, sometimes maddening, and often hilarious landscape of human relationships.
As a science-based couples therapist, I have seen it all: the good, the bad, and the downright ridiculous.
Today, submitted for your approval, are the "10 Laws of Human Relational Stupidity" because sometimes, understanding what not to do can be just as enlightening as knowing what to do.
Is Verbal Abuse a Crime?
Verbal abuse, characterized by the use of language to demean, belittle, or control another person, can have profound psychological effects.
While the emotional and mental harm caused by verbal abuse is indisputable, whether it constitutes a crime depends largely on jurisdictional laws and specific circumstances.
This article aims to provide a comprehensive understanding of verbal abuse, exploring its implications, legal status, cultural differences, and related concepts.
The hidden effects of stress on brain cell functionality
Recent research reveals that experiencing significant stress over a lifetime is linked to decreased functionality of key brain cells.
This study highlights a biological connection between our life experiences and physical changes in the brain, specifically focusing on the impact of psychosocial stress on brain cell mitochondria.
This is how neurosciences describe Developmental Trauma.
Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) abandonment depression, and procrastination
Unaddressed trauma often resurfaces when folks with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) start pursuing their authentic goals.
These painful emotions, coupled with a lack of coping skills, lead them to revert to maladaptive behaviors such as substance abuse, self-harm, and binge eating.
This unconscious self-protection mechanism manifests as procrastination, preventing them from completing their tasks.
An appreciation of Dr. Elinor Greenberg
Elinor Greenberg’s Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration, and Safety is a seminal work that delves deeply into the adaptive strategies individuals develop in response to their early emotional environments.
Greenberg’s approach is unique in its empathetic and non-pathologizing perspective, seeing these adaptations not as immutable disorders but as dynamic responses to specific developmental contexts.
Elinor is changing how we think about personality disorders at a time when we sorely need a new paradigm.
The Empathy Crisis: Why Americans are caring less and what we can do about it
Concern and care for others' feelings are virtues we seek to instill in our children, yet they are sorely lacking in many adult Americans today.
Scientific research supports the notion that Americans care less for others and more about themselves.
Sara Konrath, PhD, an associate professor of philanthropic studies at Indiana University and director of the Interdisciplinary Program on Empathy and Altruism Research, has a lot to say about where we are as a culture right now.
Let’s discuss why empathy is declining and what we can do to increase kindness and compassion in our communities.