Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) abandonment depression, and procrastination
Tuesday, July 23, 2024.
Unaddressed trauma often resurfaces when folks with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) start pursuing their authentic goals.
These painful emotions, coupled with a lack of coping skills, lead them to revert to maladaptive behaviors such as substance abuse, self-harm, and binge eating.
This unconscious self-protection mechanism manifests as procrastination, preventing them from completing their tasks.
The Core Issue: unfinished projects and underlying pain
Many folks with BPD find themselves surrounded by incomplete projects, feeling like failures due to their inability to finish what they start.
Despite initial enthusiasm, their motivation dwindles, leaving them anxious and distracted by activities like eating ice cream or binge-watching TV. They often wonder why they struggle with procrastination and whether they are just lazy.
Elinor Greenberg's perspective
Dr. Elinor Greenberg, a renowned expert on personality disorders, offers a comprehensive explanation for why people with BPD procrastinate.
Drawing from James F. Masterson's theory, she describes the "Disorders of the Self Triad" – a concept initially termed the "Borderline Triad." This triad includes self-activation, abandonment depression, and defense mechanisms.
Self-Activation and Its Challenges
Self-activation refers to identifying and pursuing personal goals. For folks with BPD, this process triggers buried, painful emotions, termed "abandonment depression." These emotions – depression, rage, fear, guilt, helplessness, and emptiness – overwhelm them, leading to defensive behaviors like substance abuse and self-harm.
The Vicious Cycle of Procrastination
As these painful emotions surface, those with BPD often revert to old, destructive habits to cope.
This regression halts their progress, making them feel stuck and frustrated. Consequently, they become afraid to attempt positive changes, associating forward movement with emotional turmoil. This fear results in chronic procrastination, with projects abandoned midway to avoid confronting these painful feelings.
The Role of Separation Anxiety
Dr. Greenberg also highlights the role of separation anxiety in BPD procrastination.
Some folks maintain an unhealthy attachment to their primary caregiver, fearing that self-activation and independence might harm their relationship.
This unconscious fear further contributes to their procrastination as they struggle with the idea of becoming their own person.
Breaking the Cycle
To overcome procrastination, individuals with BPD need to address their underlying traumas and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Therapy plays a crucial role in helping them process these painful emotions and build the resilience needed to pursue their goals without fear.
Final thoughts
Dr. Greenberg tells us that folks with Borderline Personality Disorder tend to procrastinate due to unworked-through trauma that resurfaces when they pursue personal goals.
This emotional turmoil triggers old coping mechanisms, leading to a cycle of procrastination and self-doubt. Understanding and addressing these underlying issues is essential for breaking the cycle and achieving their goals.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Greenberg, E. (2022, July 10). Why Do People with Borderline PD Procrastinate? Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com
Masterson, J. F. (1976). The Personality Disorders: A New Look at the Developmental Self and Object Relations Approach. Brunner/Mazel.
Masterson, J. F. (2004). The Personality Disorders Through the Lens of Attachment Theory and the Neurobiologic Development of the Self. Zeig, Tucker & Theisen.
