Welcome to my Blog
Most people don’t arrive here because something dramatic has happened.
They arrive because something feels… different.
The relationship still works. Conversations still happen. Life continues.
But something important is no longer organizing it the way it used to.
This space is where I write about that shift.
Not just what breaks relationships—but what quietly changes them:
how desire adapts.
how attention moves.
how meaning erodes or deepens over time.
These patterns are not random.
They tend to unfold in a predictable sequence.
If you’re here, you’re likely in one of those moments:
trying to understand what changed.
trying to decide whether it matters.
trying to figure out what to do next.
Start anywhere.
But if something here feels familiar, don’t treat it as abstract.
It usually isn’t.
Where to Begin
If you’re not sure what you’re looking for, these are a few good entry points:
Marriage Is Still Chosen — Even by Those Who Once Stood Outside It.
Epistemic Safety: What It Is and Why It Matters in Relationships.
The Relationship Consequences of Living in a Permanent News Cycle.
The Two Types of People Narcissists Avoid (And Why You Might Be One of Them).
When Narcissists Grieve: Why Their Mourning Looks Cold, Delayed, or Self-Centered
The 3-6-9 Dating Rule: Why Most Relationships Change at Month 3, 6, and 9.
The First Listener Shift: A Precise Relationship Diagnostic Most Couples Miss.
Why Curiosity Is Sacred in Relationships (And What Happens When It Disappears).
If You’re Looking for More Than Insight
Understanding is useful.
But at a certain point, most couples realize they can explain their relationship clearly—and still not change it.
That’s where focused work becomes effective.
I offer structured, high-impact couples intensives designed to produce meaningful movement in a compressed period of time.
Before We Decide Anything
A brief consultation helps determine:
whether this is what you’re dealing with.
whether this format fits.
and whether we should move forward.
Get a Clear Read on Your Relationship
Take your time reading.
But if something here lands in a way that feels specific—pay attention to that.
That’s usually where this work begins.
Continue Exploring
If you prefer to browse more broadly, you can explore posts by topic below.
But most people don’t find what they need by browsing.
They find it when something they read feels uncomfortably accurate.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
~ Daniel
- Attachment Issues
- Coronavirus
- Couples Therapy
- Extramarital Affairs
- Family Life and Parenting
- How to Fight Fair
- Inlaws and Extended Families
- Intercultural Relationships
- Marriage and Mental Health
- Married Life & Intimate Relationships
- Neurodiverse Couples
- Separation & Divorce
- Signs of Trouble
- Social Media and Relationships
- What Happy Couples Know
What is Portia Polygamy?
"Portia polygamy" is a term that's not often heard, so let's explore its meaning a bit more.
Portia polygamy describes the pattern of engaging in multiple, successive marriages.
The name evokes the idea of a series of marital relationships, much like the character Portia in Shakespeare's play, who navigates various complex relationships, albeit without multiple marriages.
The Romantic Revolution: Unveiling the Depths of Online Dating
The University of Chicago's magnum opus, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science halls, unveils a truth that defies conventional wisdom.
Couples who meet online are happier and less likely to part ways—a testament to the transformative power of pixels and algorithms.
Why does online dating lead to better marriages?
The phubbing meme and FOMO…how tech is displacing mindfulness…
Human attention is incredibly valuable, and is intended… well, for other humans.
Bestowing attention takes energy.
When you subordinate your attention to your digital devices you are choosing pixels over the partner sitting next to you…
It’s a global problem…
How intimate relationships impact our physical health…
The impact of our closest relationships on our physical health is significant, with both positive and negative experiences playing crucial roles.
Research indicates that folks who experience more negative interactions and hold more negative perceptions about their closest relationships tend to have worse physical health outcomes.
This includes higher stress levels, increased blood pressure reactivity (a sign of poor health), and greater difficulties coping with daily challenges.
What are the 2 most common personality changes between 18 and 40?
Research suggests that our goals in life evolve alongside our personalities.
A common trend observed between 18 and 40 is a shift towards greater agreeableness and conscientiousness.
Agreeable humans are characterized by their friendliness, warmth, and tactfulness, often prioritizing others' feelings.
Conversely, conscientious folks exhibit self-discipline and strive for achievement.
Is aging a natural remedy for Narcissism?
Narcissists are often characterized by their inability to accept criticism gracefully, often reacting aggressively to negative feedback.
However, recent research suggests that as these folks age, their narcissistic tendencies tend to decrease…
The problem of Passive-Aggressive nice guys…
Passive Aggression is incredibly annoying in intimate relationships.
With effort, a passive-aggressive personality disorder can learn to engage more directly.
But it is a team effort. You both can change how you respond to each other. It will take some work.
Here are some suggestions that are both sensible and specific…
Financial infidelity and financial intimacy
Financial infidelity vs. financial intimacy?
Why is money such as flash point for couples these days?
6 Essential conversations for a stronger marriage after retirement
Many researchers have focused on how to strengthen marriages after retirement, as the notion of retirement has profoundly changed over the last 50 years.
For starters, researchers noticed that couples were living longer. The phenomena of any given marriage experiencing a spouse's retirement was no longer a novelty… Let’s jump in…
Living apart together relationships
There is a new, special lifestyle for older couples who can afford it… it’s called living apart… together. In this post, I’ll be describing the research, but in an upcoming post, I’ll discuss whether or not this lifestyle may help neurodiverse couples as well…
Mary Harrington
Mary Harrington, a British writer and commentator, has provided insightful perspectives on male-female dynamics, particularly within the context of contemporary Western society.
Her ideas often revolve around the intersection of biology, culture, and power dynamics.
While she doesn't have a singular, comprehensive work dedicated solely to this topic, her articles, essays, and interviews offer nuanced insights into her views...
How the Placebo Effect can soothe heartbreak…
Breakups suck, right? But fear not, fellow heartbroken comrades, because science has a sneaky little trick up its sleeve to ease the sting of romantic rejection: the placebo effect.
Yep, you heard that right. Turns out, believing in something… anything, really…. can be the ultimate heartache healer…