Welcome to my Blog

Thank you for stopping by. This space is where I share research, reflections, and practical tools drawn from my experience as a marriage and family therapist with an international practice.

I write about what happens to desire, attachment, and meaning once the early myths stop working.

Are you a couple looking for clarity? A professional curious about the science of relationships? Or simply someone interested in how love and resilience work? I'm glad you've found your way here. I can help with that. I'm accepting new clients, and this blog is for the benefit of all my gentle readers.

Each post is written with one goal in mind: to help you better understand yourself, your partner, and the hidden dynamics that shape human connection

Grab a coffee (or a notebook), explore what speaks to you, and take what's useful back into your life and relationships.

And if a post sparks a question, or makes you realize you could use more support, l'd love to hear from you. Let's explore the scope of work you'd like to do together.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

~ Daniel

P.S.

Feel free to explore the categories below to find past blog posts on the topics that matter most to you. If you're curious about attachment, navigating conflict, or strengthening intimacy, these archives are a great way to dive deeper into the research and insights that l've been sharing for years.


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Indigenous Spirituality: Honoring Connection and Community

Indigenous spirituality offers a wealth of wisdom on the importance of connection and community.

As a science-based marriage and family therapist, I believe that these principles can profoundly impact our relational dynamics.

The emphasis on interconnectedness, respect for nature, and the value of ancestral wisdom provides a holistic approach to fostering healthy and fulfilling relationships.

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Stoicism in Relationships: Finding Strength in Adversity

Many have found that the ancient philosophy of Stoicism offers timeless wisdom that can be applied to enhance our relationships.

As a science-based marriage and family therapist, I often see couples struggling with heartbreaking adversity.

Let's explore how Stoic principles can help us build stronger, more resilient relationships, and dive deep into the realm of intimacy.

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Ancient Greek Philosophy: Wisdom for Modern Love

Ancient Greek philosophers like Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle provided timeless insights into human behavior and relationships.

As a marriage and family therapist, I find their teachings particularly relevant for modern relational dynamics.

These philosophers explored the nature of love, virtue, and the self, offering profound wisdom that can enhance our understanding and practice of love in today's world.

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Balancing Independence and Togetherness in Marriage: a guide to healthy relationships

Marriage is often viewed as the ultimate union of two individuals.

However, the strength of this union depends not on the dissolution of individuality but on the healthy balance between independence and togetherness.

Some of my clients have shown me how maintaining emotional independence in marriage can lead to a more fulfilling and resilient relationship.

In this blog post, we’ll explore how independence in marriage goes beyond mere physical space and encompasses freedom from sleepwalking into reactivity, addiction, and self-absorption in an increasingly anxious age.

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Marian Apparitions and the Collapse of Reverence

There are moments in history when people begin feeling psychologically abandoned by the age they live in.

Public life becomes unstable.

Attention fragments.

Meaning thins.

Technology accelerates faster than human emotional adaptation.

Folks become flooded with information while starving for orientation.

And during these periods, reports of Marian apparitions often emerge with unusual force.

Not during calm.

During rupture.

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Milton Erickson's contributions to Science-Based Couples Therapy

Milton H. Erickson, a pioneering figure in the field of psychotherapy, significantly influenced science-based couples therapy with his innovative approaches and techniques.

Renowned for his work in medical hypnosis and family therapy, Erickson’s contributions laid the groundwork for many modern therapeutic practices, particularly in couples therapy.

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Concrete couples counseling questions

Navigating intimate relationships can be as thrilling as it is challenging.

Couples therapy can be a fantastic way to untangle the knots of complex issues, fix communication breakdowns, set relationship goals, and ultimately strengthen your bond.

If you’re new to couples counseling, you might be curious about the questions that will pop up during sessions or the ones you should bring to the table.

Here’s a deep dive into some essential and thought-provoking concrete couples counseling questions to get you started.

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Internal Family Systems Criticism (IFS): A Science-Based Couples Therapist's Perspective

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a novel approach to psychotherapy developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz.

This model posits that our psyche comprises various sub-personalities or "parts," each with unique perspectives and roles.

IFS therapy helps folks to harmonize these parts, fostering internal balance and healing.

This process has peaked interest for individual therapy.

It has profound implications for external family systems, as understanding and integrating our internal parts can significantly improve how we relate to others.

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3 Couples Therapy Models: Gottman Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and the Developmental Model

A well-trained couples therapist, will delve deeply into the theoretical foundations, techniques, and outcomes associated with different therapeutic models to effectively tailor interventions to the needs of each couple.

In this post, we will explore Gottman Couples Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy in detail.

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What is two person integrity?

As a couples therapist, the concept of two-person integrity is pivotal in understanding healthy relationships.

It refers to the delicate balance between maintaining one's individuality and being committed to the partnership.

Think of two-person integrity as walking a tightrope while juggling—challenging but essential for a harmonious relationship. This balance is crucial for both personal well-being and the health of the relationship.

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The Greatest Obstacles to Intimacy in 2024… an opinion

Intimacy in 2024. In an era when our phones are smarter than we are and our fridges have Wi-Fi, one might think we've mastered the art of connection.

Alas, no.

I've seen that despite (or perhaps because of) all our technological advances, intimacy remains a delicate dance that many stumble through like toddlers at their first ballet recital.

Here’s my 2 cents on the obstacles to intimacy in 2024.

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The balancing act… independence and intimacy in marriage

Every marriage has an inherent tension between the need for independence and the desire for intimacy.

Couples therapists call this delicate balance "differentiation."

Differentiation in marriage is all about personal growth while maintaining a close relationship.

As Ellyn Bader puts it, differentiation is "the active, ongoing process of defining self, expressing and activating self, revealing self, clarifying boundaries, and managing the anxiety that comes from risking either more intimacy or potential separation."

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