3 Couples Therapy Models: Gottman Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and the Developmental Model
Sunday, July 14, 2024.
A well-trained couples therapist, will delve deeply into the theoretical foundations, techniques, and outcomes associated with different therapeutic models to effectively tailor interventions to the needs of each couple.
When I was an owner at Couples Therapy Inc., I had a policy of only hiring therapists with advanced certifications in 2 of these 3 essential models of couples therapy.
In this post, we will explore Gottman Couples Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy in detail.
Gottman Couples Therapy
Theoretical Foundations
Gottman Couples Therapy, pioneered by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, is based on over 40 years of research involving thousands of couples. Their approach is empirical and heavily grounded in observational research. The Gottmans' studies have identified key behaviors and interaction patterns that predict relationship stability and satisfaction, which form the backbone of their therapeutic interventions.
Key Components
The Sound Relationship House Theory:
Build Love Maps: Understanding your partner's inner world.
Share Fondness and Admiration: Expressing appreciation and respect.
Turn Towards Instead of Away: Responding to your partner's bids for connection.
The Positive Perspective: Viewing interactions with a positive bias.
Manage Conflict: Differentiating between solvable and perpetual problems.
Make Life Dreams Come True: Supporting each other’s life goals.
Create Shared Meaning: Building a sense of purpose and culture together.
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:
Criticism: Attacking a partner’s personality or character.
Contempt: Expressing disdain or superiority.
Defensiveness: Self-protection through righteous indignation or playing the victim.
Stonewalling: Withdrawing from interaction to avoid conflict.
Emotion Regulation:
Physiological Soothing: Techniques to calm down during high stress to prevent flooding.
Softened Startup: Approaching conflicts gently to avoid escalation.
Repair Attempts: Efforts to de-escalate tension and conflict.
Techniques and Interventions
Conflict Management: Gottman therapy focuses on teaching effective conflict management strategies rather than conflict resolution, recognizing that some conflicts are perpetual and must be managed rather than solved.
Building Friendship and Intimacy: Emphasizing the importance of maintaining a strong friendship as the foundation for intimacy and effective partnership.
Enhancing Fondness and Admiration: Encouraging couples to regularly express appreciation and admiration for each other to build a positive perspective.
Efficacy and Outcomes
Gottman Couples Therapy has been shown to significantly improve relationship satisfaction and stability. Research indicates that couples who participate in this therapy demonstrate greater emotional regulation, more positive interactions, and better conflict management skills (Gottman & Gottman, 2015).
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
Theoretical Foundations
Developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is grounded in attachment theory.
It posits that adult relationships are an attachment bond, and the quality of this bond profoundly impacts emotional and psychological well-being. EFT views relationship distress as a result of unmet attachment needs and negative interaction cycles.
Key Components
Attachment Bonds:
EFT focuses on creating secure attachment bonds between partners by addressing their emotional needs.
It emphasizes that secure attachment is characterized by accessibility, responsiveness, and emotional engagement (ARE)
Negative Interaction Cycles:
Identifying and de-escalating negative cycles that perpetuate distress and insecurity.
Helping partners see these cycles as the enemy, not each other.
Creating New Patterns of Interaction:
Facilitating partners to express their needs and fears in a way that elicits empathy and understanding.
Restructuring interactions to promote secure attachment behaviors.
Techniques and Interventions
Stage 1: De-escalation: This stage involves identifying the problematic interaction cycle and the unmet attachment needs driving it. It involves de-escalating the cycle to reduce immediate distress.
Stage 2: Restructuring Interactions: This stage facilitates partners' expression of deeper attachment needs and fears, focusing on creating new patterns of emotional engagement.
Stage 3: Consolidation and Integration: This stage reinforces new interaction patterns and ensures partners can maintain these changes outside of therapy.
Efficacy and Outcomes
EFT has been extensively researched and shown to be highly effective.
Studies indicate that approximately 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery, and about 90% show significant improvements. EFT is effective across various types of couples, including those dealing with trauma, infidelity, and chronic illness (Johnson, 2019).
The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy
Theoretical Foundations
The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, created by Drs. Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson, integrates principles from psychodynamic theory, attachment theory, and differentiation theory. It posits that relationships progress through predictable stages of development, and challenges arise when couples fail to navigate these stages effectively.
Key Components
Stages of Relationship Development:
Symbiosis: The initial stage of intense bonding and merging of identities.
Differentiation: Partners begin to assert individuality and autonomy.
Practicing: Partners explore their individual interests while maintaining the relationship.
Rapprochement: Couples navigate the balance between intimacy and autonomy.
Synergy: The final stage where partners achieve a harmonious balance of individuality and togetherness.
Differentiation:
Emphasizing the importance of developing a strong sense of self while being emotionally connected to the partner.
Encouraging partners to tolerate differences and manage the anxiety that comes from individuality within the relationship.
Conflict as Developmental Opportunity:
Viewing conflict as a natural and necessary part of relationship development.
Using conflict to promote personal and relational growth.
Techniques and Interventions
Encouraging Self-Awareness: Helping partners understand their own developmental issues and how these impact the relationship.
Fostering Mutual Growth: Supporting each partner’s growth and development as individuals and as a couple.
Navigating Developmental Stages: Assisting couples in identifying and navigating the specific developmental tasks and challenges of each stage.
Efficacy and Outcomes
The Developmental Model has been effective in helping couples understand and work through their relationship dynamics.
Research suggests that couples who engage in this therapy experience improved communication, greater intimacy, and enhanced personal and relational growth (Bader & Pearson, 2016).
Final thoughts
These therapeutic models offer a unique framework for understanding and addressing relationship challenges.
Gottman Couples Therapy provides empirically based tools for managing conflict and enhancing positive interactions.
Emotionally Focused Therapy focuses on creating secure emotional bonds through understanding and responding to attachment needs.
The Developmental Model emphasizes the importance of navigating the stages of relationship development and fostering differentiation.
Consider your own situation and the differences between these highly effective approaches.
A well-trained couples therapist can recruit the strengths of these various approaches, and provide comprehensive and effective interventions tailored to your specific needs. I can help with that.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
References
Bader, E., & Pearson, P. (2016). Tell me no lies: How to face the truth and build a loving marriage. St. Martin's Press.
Gottman, J. M., & Gottman, J. S. (2015). The seven principles for making marriage work: A practical guide from the country's foremost relationship expert. Harmony Books.
Johnson, S. (2019). Attachment theory in practice: Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) with individuals, couples, and families. The Guilford Press.
