Internal Family Systems Criticism (IFS): A Science-Based Couples Therapist's Perspective
Monday, July 15, 2024.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a novel approach to psychotherapy developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz.
This model posits that our psyche comprises various sub-personalities or "parts," each with unique perspectives and roles.
IFS therapy helps folks to harmonize these parts, fostering internal balance and healing.
This process has peaked interest for individual therapy. The notion of “parts psychology” has become a popular cultural trope.
The challenge with “parts psychology” is that it also has profound implications for external family systems, as integrating our “internal parts” can significantly improve how we relate to others. Let’s jump in.
Core Concepts of Internal Family Systems Compared With Other Couples Therapy Models
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, is based on attachment theory and focuses on the emotional bonds between partners. It emphasizes identifying and transforming negative interaction patterns to create secure and lasting relationships.
Gottman Method
The Gottman Method, developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman is a research-based approach focusing on building healthy relationships through improving communication, increasing respect and affection, and managing conflict. It uses specific tools and exercises derived from empirical research.
Developmental Model of Couples Therapy
The Developmental Model, developed by Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson, views relationship challenges as a natural part of the developmental process. It focuses on helping couples grow and evolve through different stages of their relationship, addressing differentiation, attachment, and individuation issues.
Comparing IFS to EFT, Gottman Method, and Developmental Model
Agreement and Common Ground
Focus on Emotional Healing and Connection:
IFS: Emphasizes internal harmony and self-leadership to improve external relationships.
EFT: Centers on creating secure emotional bonds and resolving attachment injuries.
Gottman Method: Aims to build healthy, respectful relationships through improved communication and emotional connection.
Developmental Model: Helps couples navigate emotional and developmental challenges to foster growth and connection.
Importance of Understanding Individual Differences:
All four models recognize the significance of individual experiences and perspectives in shaping relationship dynamics.
Empathy and Compassion:
IFS: Cultivates compassion towards different parts of the self.
EFT: Promotes empathy between partners to create secure attachment.
Gottman Method: Encourages mutual respect and understanding.
Developmental Model: Supports empathy and compassion as couples grow and evolve together.
Areas of Controversy and Divergence
Theoretical Foundations:
IFS: Focuses on internal parts and self-leadership, which some critics argue can oversimplify the complexity of human behavior.
EFT: Grounded in Attachment Theory, emphasizing the role of early attachment experiences, which IFS practitioners might see as just one of many influences on internal parts. Also, Attachment Theory itself has been accused of diluting cultural influences.
Gottman Method: Based on empirical research and practical tools, it is sometimes viewed as less flexible than the more fluid, exploratory nature of IFS.
Developmental Model: Focuses on the natural progression of relationships, which can sometimes conflict with the IFS view that all parts are always present and active in various ways.
Approach to Conflict and Trauma:
Therapists Sharon A. Deacon and Jonathan C. Davis suggested that working with one's parts may "be emotional and anxiety-provoking for clients", and that IFS may not work well with delusional, paranoid, or schizophrenic clients who may not be grounded in reality and therefore misuse the idea of "parts." On the other hand, I don’t think any “model” would fare well with such clients either. The critics may be highlighting an overreach in how the model has been applied with various diagnostic cohorts.
IFS: Sees internal conflicts stemming from parts in pain and aims to unburden these parts to achieve healing.
EFT: Addresses relational distress by fostering Secure Attachment and transforming negative interaction patterns.
Gottman Method: Uses structured exercises to manage conflict and enhance positive interactions.
Developmental Model: This model views conflict as an opportunity for growth and development, which might be seen as complementary but also divergent from the IFS focus on internal parts.
Methodology and Techniques:
IFS: Uses parts work and self-inquiry, which can be seen as more introspective and less action-oriented than other models. The operational notion of the “Self” can be problematically vague. That’s an issue for me, as I prefer structure with well-defined terms.
EFT: Employs interventions to transform emotional responses and create secure attachment.
Gottman Method: Utilizes specific tools and exercises, which some might find prescriptive compared to the more exploratory nature of IFS.
Developmental Model: Focuses on the developmental stages of relationships, which might conflict with the IFS approach to seeing all parts as always relevant.
Journal Prompts for Internal Family Systems Exploration
Journaling can be an effective tool to explore and understand your internal family system. Here are some prompts to get you started:
Identify Your Parts:
"Describe a time when you felt conflicted. What different parts of you were present in that situation?"
"List the different parts of yourself you have noticed. What roles do they play in your life?"
Understanding Exiles:
"Recall a painful memory. What part of you holds that pain? How does this part affect your current life?"
"Write a letter to an exiled part of yourself. What would you like to say to it?"
Exploring Managers and Firefighters:
"Identify a behavior you use to cope with stress. Which part of you engages in this behavior? What is it trying to protect you from?"
"Think about a time when you felt overwhelmed. What part of you took control? How did it manage the situation?"
Connecting with the Self:
"Describe a moment when you felt completely calm and centered. How did it feel? What allowed you to access this state?"
"Write about a situation where you led from your Self. How did this influence the outcome?"
Unburdening and Healing:
"Reflect on a belief you hold about yourself that feels heavy or burdensome. Which part of you carries this belief? What would it mean to let it go?"
"Imagine a healing conversation between your “Self”and an exiled part. What would each of them say?"
Integrating IFS with External Family Systems
IFS aims to significantly enhance family therapy by helping each member understand their internal parts and how these parts influence their interactions with others. Here are some ways IFS can work within external family systems:
Improved Communication: Family members learn to articulate their needs and feelings from a place of “Self,” reducing defensive and reactive behaviors.
Empathy and Understanding: By recognizing that everyone has multiple parts, family members can develop greater empathy for each other's experiences and perspectives.
Conflict Resolution: Understanding the internal dynamics that drive behaviors can help resolve conflicts more effectively, as family members can address the root causes rather than just the symptoms.
Healthy Boundaries: IFS might help folks understand their boundaries and communicate them clearly, promoting healthier family relationships.
Time-Intensive: IFS can be a time-intensive process, requiring a deep exploration of multiple parts. This can be impractical in settings where clients have limited sessions or need immediate relief from acute symptoms. I’m in favor of deep, brief therapeutic approaches.
Risk of Over-Identification: Some critics assert that there is a potential risk that clients may over-identify with their parts, leading to a fragmented sense of self rather than an integrated whole. This can be particularly problematic for folks with severe dissociative disorders. On the other hand, that’s a fraction of the clinical population.
Integration with Other Therapeutic Models
Strengths:
Complementary Use: One unusual feature of IFS might be used in conjunction with other therapeutic approaches, offering a complementary perspective on psychological issues. IFS is model agnostic.
Criticisms:
Conceptual Overlap: There are concerns about the conceptual overlap and potential redundancy with other models. For example, the idea of internal parts can be seen as similar to ego states in Psychodynamic Therapy or schemas in Schema Therapy. Some critics argue that IFS lacks sufficient clinical coherence.
Controversial Elements: Some critics argue that the IFS focus on internal parts may overshadow important external factors, such as socio-cultural influences and relational dynamics, which are crucial in other therapeutic models like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) or the Gottman Method.
I think of IFS as a series of intriguing ideas in search of a theory. I really wanted to like Schwartz’s book on trauma, “Mosaic Mind,” but I found -t meandering and unsatisfying.
The Therapeutic Process in IFS Couples Therapy
Assessment and Identification of Parts: The therapist helps each partner identify their parts and understand the roles these parts play in their interactions. This includes recognizing protective parts (Managers and Firefighters) and vulnerable parts (Exiles).
Cultivating Self-Leadership: Both partners are guided to connect with their “Self”, fostering an internal environment of compassion and understanding. This Self-leadership enables them to interact from a place of calmness and empathy rather than from reactive parts.
Unburdening and Healing: The process of unburdening involves helping parts release the extreme beliefs and emotions they carry. This allows each partner to heal past traumas and reduces the intensity of reactive behaviors.
Enhancing Communication: With an understanding of their internal parts, partners can communicate more effectively. They learn to articulate their needs and emotions from their Self rather than from defensive or reactive parts.
Conflict Resolution: By recognizing and addressing the internal triggers that lead to conflict, couples can resolve disputes more constructively. This involves understanding how each partner's parts interact and finding ways to soothe and integrate these parts.
Final thoughts
Internal Family Systems offer a profoundly novel framework for understanding and healing the complex interplay of our internal parts. The notion of “parts” strikes me as a poetic way to map schemas and nervous system triggers.
Integrating IFS principles into journaling and family therapy might help some couples achieve greater self-awareness, empathy, and harmony in their relationships. I like how IFS may also operate as an ancillary toolbox for creative rewiring and re-plumbing the nervous system.
Exploring your internal family system might transform your external family dynamics.
I genuinely like the ideas in Internal Family Systems. They are interesting, to say the least. But they are nothing more than “Useful Lies,” much like Attachment Theory.
There is no solid science behind these ideas.
But, putting that aside, using IFS journal prompts just might deepen your self-understanding and improve your interactions with others. Think of them as thought experiments adjuncts to science-based couples therapy.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
Recommended IFS Books
To delve deeper into Internal Family Systems, consider these authoritative texts:
Schwartz, R. C. (1995). Internal family systems therapy. New York, NY: Guilford Press.
Schwartz, R. C. (2020). No bad parts: Healing trauma and restoring wholeness with the Internal Family Systems model. Boulder, CO: Sounds True.
Earley, J. (2012). Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy. Oakland, CA: Pattern System Books.
Sweezy, M., & Ziskind, E. L. (Eds.). (2013). Internal Family Systems Therapy: New Dimensions. New York, NY: Routledge.
