Welcome to my Blog
Most people don’t arrive here because something dramatic has happened.
They arrive because something feels… different.
The relationship still works. Conversations still happen. Life continues.
But something important is no longer organizing it the way it used to.
This space is where I write about that shift.
Not just what breaks relationships—but what quietly changes them:
how desire adapts.
how attention moves.
how meaning erodes or deepens over time.
These patterns are not random.
They tend to unfold in a predictable sequence.
If you’re here, you’re likely in one of those moments:
trying to understand what changed.
trying to decide whether it matters.
trying to figure out what to do next.
Start anywhere.
But if something here feels familiar, don’t treat it as abstract.
It usually isn’t.
Where to Begin
If you’re not sure what you’re looking for, these are a few good entry points:
Marriage Is Still Chosen — Even by Those Who Once Stood Outside It.
Epistemic Safety: What It Is and Why It Matters in Relationships.
The Relationship Consequences of Living in a Permanent News Cycle.
The Two Types of People Narcissists Avoid (And Why You Might Be One of Them).
When Narcissists Grieve: Why Their Mourning Looks Cold, Delayed, or Self-Centered
The 3-6-9 Dating Rule: Why Most Relationships Change at Month 3, 6, and 9.
The First Listener Shift: A Precise Relationship Diagnostic Most Couples Miss.
Why Curiosity Is Sacred in Relationships (And What Happens When It Disappears).
If You’re Looking for More Than Insight
Understanding is useful.
But at a certain point, most couples realize they can explain their relationship clearly—and still not change it.
That’s where focused work becomes effective.
I offer structured, high-impact couples intensives designed to produce meaningful movement in a compressed period of time.
Before We Decide Anything
A brief consultation helps determine:
whether this is what you’re dealing with.
whether this format fits.
and whether we should move forward.
Get a Clear Read on Your Relationship
Take your time reading.
But if something here lands in a way that feels specific—pay attention to that.
That’s usually where this work begins.
Continue Exploring
If you prefer to browse more broadly, you can explore posts by topic below.
But most people don’t find what they need by browsing.
They find it when something they read feels uncomfortably accurate.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
~ Daniel
- Attachment Issues
- Coronavirus
- Couples Therapy
- Extramarital Affairs
- Family Life and Parenting
- How to Fight Fair
- Inlaws and Extended Families
- Intercultural Relationships
- Marriage and Mental Health
- Married Life & Intimate Relationships
- Neurodiverse Couples
- Separation & Divorce
- Signs of Trouble
- Social Media and Relationships
- What Happy Couples Know
The power of abstract thinking…
I can’t help myself! It’s endlessly fascinating to me when research helps us tweak and goose our minds to work a little better for us.
I love brain hack studies!
This one is particularly cool…
Huge mega-study reveals the 5 best ways to improve your relationship…
Brian Ogolsky is one of our best researchers.
About a decade ago, he did a huge mega study that described a good marriage as similar to a fine automobile…
It requires preventative maintenance…
The power of appreciation…
I’m so excited when I see top flight research teams developing credible, effective interventions to boost our capacity for gratitude and appreciation!
Which personality trait has the tightest correlation with a high IQ?
Which personalty trait is most correlated with high intelligence, and what 2 aspects of that trait are the most compelling?
Can your IQ predict a happy marriage?
Research tells us that a high IQ on any sort of intelligence scale is favorably disposed toward a long, potentially happy union.
But why does high Verbal Intelligence, in particular, hold such allure?
17 Neuroscience-Backed Hacks to Improve Decision-Making (Even When Your Brain Betrays You)
During a rough time a few years back, I was so appalled at how bad my decision making was.
So I decided to make a serious study of the elements of a making good decision…
The Hobby / Happiness connection…
Did you know that hobbies may contribute to profound life satisfaction in our later years?
Believe it or not, hobbies promote a sense of agency over our minds and bodies, and they confirm a sense of life-purpose, in general.
Research suggests that having a hobby may reduce your risk of depression by 33%.
Why are hobbies so impactful?
Is there a “best way” to handle money in a committed relationship?…. Yes, despite what you may have read elsewhere...
Blended or separate? Is there a best way to manage our family’s money to optimize marital satisfaction? …Yes.
2 Wicked powerful questions to lift your relationship satisfaction…
Here are 2 wicked powerful questions that will build your relationship satisfaction if you use them with skill…
Is there a perfect age to wed?…apparently, there is….
Is there an age range for your first marriage that is correlated with the highest possible success rate?
Yup.
How just 1 bad night of poor sleep can impact your relationship…
Sleep deprivation is being identified as a persistent source of relational stress. This research suggests that relational stressors emerge after only a single night of disturbed sleep.
Here’s what you need to know…
The one thing you must know about supporting and validating your spouse…
New research from 2020 confirms what we already knew. When we validate our partner’s experience, we soothe their nervous system...