Welcome to my Blog

Most people don’t arrive here because something dramatic has happened.

They arrive because something feels… different.

The relationship still works. Conversations still happen. Life continues.

But something important is no longer organizing it the way it used to.

This space is where I write about that shift.

Not just what breaks relationships—but what quietly changes them:

  • how desire adapts.

  • how attention moves.

  • how meaning erodes or deepens over time.

These patterns are not random.
They tend to unfold in a predictable sequence.

If you’re here, you’re likely in one of those moments:

  • trying to understand what changed.

  • trying to decide whether it matters.

  • trying to figure out what to do next.

Start anywhere.

But if something here feels familiar, don’t treat it as abstract.

It usually isn’t.

Where to Begin

If you’re not sure what you’re looking for, these are a few good entry points:

If You’re Looking for More Than Insight

Understanding is useful.

But at a certain point, most couples realize they can explain their relationship clearly—and still not change it.

That’s where focused work becomes effective.

I offer structured, high-impact couples intensives designed to produce meaningful movement in a compressed period of time.

Before We Decide Anything

A brief consultation helps determine:

  • whether this is what you’re dealing with.

  • whether this format fits.

  • and whether we should move forward.

Get a Clear Read on Your Relationship

Take your time reading.

But if something here lands in a way that feels specific—pay attention to that.

That’s usually where this work begins.

Continue Exploring

If you prefer to browse more broadly, you can explore posts by topic below.

But most people don’t find what they need by browsing.

They find it when something they read feels uncomfortably accurate.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
~ Daniel

 

Signs of Trouble Daniel Dashnaw Signs of Trouble Daniel Dashnaw

Life is hard, get a helmet: navigating modern relationship challenges

Relationships today are a lot like riding a roller coaster blindfolded, in a hailstorm, with a dubious safety harness.

In other words, life is tough, get a helmet!

Modern couples face an array of challenges that can make even the most stable relationship feel like it's teetering on the edge of a cliff.

From financial woes and work stress to digital distractions and societal pressures, the path to a happy, healthy partnership can be as tricky as navigating a minefield on a pogo stick.

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Behavior that is Passive-Aggressive and Narcissism

Understanding the interplay between passive-aggressive behavior and narcissism is essential in navigating the complex dynamics that often arise in intimate relationships.

Both behaviors can significantly impact the quality of relationships, leading to misunderstandings, conflict, and emotional distress.

Let’s explore the characteristics, underlying mechanisms, and strategies for addressing these behaviors in a therapeutic context.

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"The Mask of Sanity" by Hervey Cleckley

As a couples therapist, delving into Hervey Cleckley's 1941 seminal work, "The Mask of Sanity," offers profound and enduring insights into the enigmatic world of psychopathy.

Cleckley's detailed exploration provides a framework that remains relevant today, shedding light on how psychopathic traits can manifest within intimate relationships.

Additionally, the book's themes resonate deeply with the contemporary concept of Cultural Narcissism.

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The psychological impact of working with Artificial Intelligence Systems

As artificial intelligence (AI) systems become increasingly integrated into workplaces, understanding their psychological effects on employees is crucial.

Research indicates that folks working extensively with AI are more likely to experience loneliness, which can lead to mental health issues such as increased alcohol consumption after work and insomnia.

Geez…

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Does the conscious mind hinder our ability to detect a lie?

Discerning truth from lies often feels like navigating a minefield blindfolded.

Surprisingly, it's not just an impression—studies consistently reveal how challenging it is for human beings to detect deception.

Dr. Leanne ten Brinke, who has delved into this perplexing arena, points out:

"Our research was prompted by the puzzling but consistent finding that humans are very poor lie detectors, performing at only about 54% accuracy in traditional lie detection tasks."

Given that a coin toss gives you a 50% chance, our lie-detection skills seem barely better than chance. But why is this the case, and what can we do about it?

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The whispers of safety and the roar of freedom

In the year 2624, the ancient city of Boston was a beacon of technological marvels, towering skyscrapers kissed by the clouds, and streets humming with the rhythm of progress.

Yet beneath this glittering surface, an unseen force dictated the lives of its inhabitants: the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP). Originally developed to promote well-being, the SSP had become an omnipresent whisper in the ears of every citizen, a tool for control rather than healing.

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Gaslighting in America

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that can have devastating effects on a person's mental health and sense of reality.

As a couples therapist, I sometimes encounter folks who struggle to understand and identify this insidious form of abuse.

This guide aims to provide a comprehensive overview of gaslighting, including its signs, effects, and, in particular, strategies for recognizing and addressing it.

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Why narcissists struggle to keep friends (Hint: it’s not just about ego)

Narcissists often make friends quickly, but keeping them? That's a different story. They often lack emotional intelligence, a critical quality for long-term friendship.

But why don’t these positive first impressions become lasting bonds?

At first glance, narcissists are incredibly attractive to others.

Their self-assurance and showmanship draw people in like moths to a flame.

But sustaining those friendships becomes a challenge once the initial charm wears off. But Why?

Because emotional intelligence, not just charisma, is key to long-lasting relationships.

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Why fun activities often leave us craving more: the distraction trap

During activities meant to bring pleasure, distractions like phones, anxious thoughts, or simple mind wandering can divert our focus.

This lack of attention means we don't derive the expected pleasure from these experiences, leaving us craving more.

This cycle can lead to behaviors like overeating, excessive gaming, or endless traveling without truly enjoying the moments.

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5 ways to spot a Christian narcissist: When piety and ego collide

In a world where virtues like humility and love are extolled, it seems paradoxical that narcissism could find a foothold within Christianity.

Yet, the phenomenon of Christian narcissism exists, blending self-righteousness with an inflated sense of importance.

Here’s a field guide to spotting a Christian narcissist, all while keeping your sense of humor intact.

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What is the NARBO Model?

Treating folks with narcissistic traits can be challenging due to their resistance to acknowledging their issues and their tendency to manipulate or blame others.

The NARBO model can aid clinicians in maintaining a clear framework for understanding these behaviors and developing targeted interventions.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a clinical psychologist and a leading expert on narcissism, having extensively studied and written about narcissistic personality disorder and its impact on relationships and individuals.

Her insights can be valuable in understanding the NARBO model components and their clinical application.

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