Welcome to my Blog

Thank you for stopping by. This space is where I share research, reflections, and practical tools drawn from my experience as a marriage and family therapist.

Are you a couple looking for clarity? A professional curious about the science of relationships? Or simply someone interested in how love and resilience work? I’m glad you’ve found your way here. I can help with that.

Each post is written with one goal in mind: to help you better understand yourself, your partner, and the hidden dynamics that shape human connection.

Grab a coffee (or a notebook), explore what speaks to you, and take what’s useful back into your life and relationships. And if a post sparks a question, or makes you realize you could use more support, I’d love to hear from you.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
~Daniel

P.S.

Feel free to explore the categories below to find past blog posts on the topics that matter most to you. If you’re curious about attachment, navigating conflict, or strengthening intimacy, these archives are a great way to dive deeper into the research and insights that I’ve been sharing for years.

 

Attachment Issues Daniel Dashnaw Attachment Issues Daniel Dashnaw

Intensity vs. Intimacy: What Henry Miller’s Life Can Teach Us About Emotional Immaturity and Avoidant Love

Once upon a time, teenage American boys read books.

And there was once a rite of passage in American male adolescence: reading Henry Miller at precisely the wrong time in life.

When you’re young, his sentences feel like license—wild, rapturous, profane, as if emotional chaos were a sacrament.

Only later, usually after age and regret have taken turns sanding you down, do you realize that Miller wasn’t modeling any sort of depth.

He was modeling the kind of emotional immaturity that flourishes when no one demands your presence.

In this post, I’m not undertaking a cultural cancellation. I hope, instead, that it reads more like a commentary on an American saint of defensive self-absorption.

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Neurodiverse Couples Daniel Dashnaw Neurodiverse Couples Daniel Dashnaw

ADHD at 60: The Diagnosis That Doesn’t Arrive—It Finally Surfaces

A diagnosis that doesn’t rewrite your life—It only reveals what you’ve already lived through

At 60, you’re supposed to be gliding into the soft-focus years—gardens, grandkids, and grudges you’ve finally outgrown.

Instead, you’re staring at a late-life diagnosis that clarifies more than it disrupts.

A major meta-analysis in Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews confirms that ADHD persists into older adulthood far more reliably than mid-century psychiatry ever allowed, and a national CDC report shows that nearly half of adults with ADHD weren’t diagnosed until adulthood.

The shock isn’t that you “have ADHD.”

The shock is that you lived six decades without anyone naming it.

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Social Media and Relationships Daniel Dashnaw Social Media and Relationships Daniel Dashnaw

What Is Almondsexuality? The New Microlabel Giving People the Language They Always Needed

Every generation invents new words for sex—not because desire is changing, but because we’re finally honest enough to name the patterns we used to pretend were accidents.

The old categories weren’t built for actual humans. They were built for forms, surveys, and the kind of public conversations that depend on polite fictions.

The 2020s have no patience for polite fictions. And that’s how almondsexuality entered the room.

Almondsexual didn’t crawl out of academia or a think tank.

It was born in the digital commons—the LGBTQ+ corners of the internet where people do the real labor of naming their inner lives.

These communities have always been ahead of the curve, inventing vocabulary long before institutions realize their glossary is 40 years out of date.

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Neurodiverse Couples Daniel Dashnaw Neurodiverse Couples Daniel Dashnaw

ADHD and Menopause: What Really Happens When Midlife Meets Neurodiversity

There are moments in a woman’s life when medicine suddenly remembers she exists.

Menopause isn’t usually one of them.

ADHD in women isn’t either. But put the two together and you enter a research vacuum so deep it makes the Grand Canyon look cramped.

Yet here we are—finally—staring at a study that tries to map what really happens when ADHD and menopause occupy the same hormonal real estate.

It’s messy. It’s counterintuitive. And it tells us more about how women interpret their bodies than anything we’ve learned in decades.

The newest work, published in the Journal of Attention Disorders, forces us to climb out of the cultural fog around “women’s issues” and look directly at what’s been hiding in plain sight.

Women with ADHD aren’t just navigating distractibility—they’re navigating an entire history of being overlooked, misdiagnosed, and expected to tough out biological experiences men receive sympathy medals for.

The fact that it took until 2025 for someone to study this intersection says more about medicine than it does about women.

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Social Media and Relationships Daniel Dashnaw Social Media and Relationships Daniel Dashnaw

Aggression in Pornography Has Tripled: How Algorithms, Rough Sex, and Silence Are Rewriting Sexual Scripts

If you want to understand what’s happening to American sexuality, don’t bother with marriage statistics or dating questionnaires.

Look at the “most viewed” section of Pornhub.

That’s where the erotic imagination of the country is being shaped, standardized, and exported in real time.

And according to a new long-range study in The Journal of Sex Research, what people are watching today looks markedly different from what they watched 25 years ago.

Visible physical aggression in mainstream pornography hasn’t crept upward; it has tripled.

Not because all of America suddenly became leather-friendly, but because online porn now runs on an economy of intensity rather than intimacy.

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Marriage and Mental Health Daniel Dashnaw Marriage and Mental Health Daniel Dashnaw

Women’s Sexual Desire Is More Strongly Affected by Stress: What the New Research Really Shows

Every generation rediscovers the same truth: you can’t out-desire your own nervous system.

You can try—Americans are nothing if not ambitious—but biology keeps the receipts.

A new Austrian study in Psychoneuroendocrinology, the paper Too stressed for sex? Associations between stress and sex in daily life, confirms what therapists have quietly known for decades.

Stress, that relentless party-crasher, is exceptionally effective at smothering women’s sexual desire in the moment.

Men aren’t immune, either of course.

But women’s bodies tend to treat stress like a flashing red alarm: this is not the moment!

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Married Life & Intimate Relationships Daniel Dashnaw Married Life & Intimate Relationships Daniel Dashnaw

Soft Swinging: The Loophole Written in Lipstick

The sound of the dishwasher always struck her as strangely moralistic.

It whirred, clicked, and churned with the same nightly insistence, as if to remind her that predictability had become the head of household.

She held a single wineglass to the light, turning it slowly in her hand as though the angle might reveal something she’d missed.

Her husband wandered in behind her, scrolling his phone with the blank absorption of a man consuming nothing important.

And there in the soft kitchen light, between an appliance humming its mechanical sermon and a glow from a screen that felt more intimate than conversation, she sensed the truth: modern married life rarely collapses in spectacular fashion.

It thins. It dries at the edges. It becomes a room you’ve walked through so many times you no longer see it.

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Neurodiverse Couples Daniel Dashnaw Neurodiverse Couples Daniel Dashnaw

The Neurodiverse Flow State: How Different Brains Find Focus, Creativity, and Calm

The coffee’s gone cold again. She’s halfway through a spreadsheet; he’s deep in an online rabbit hole about Japanese joinery.

Two people, one kitchen, parallel intensity.

From the outside it looks like disconnection. From the inside, it’s two nervous systems trying to find the same current — what psychologists call flow.

Flow isn’t new. Artists called it possession, athletes refer to “the zone.”

The modern term belongs to Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, but the intuition is ancient: there are moments when effort becomes joy and consciousness organizes itself so completely that self-consciousness vanishes.

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Inlaws and Extended Families Daniel Dashnaw Inlaws and Extended Families Daniel Dashnaw

When Caring Becomes Control: Emotional Boundaries in Multigenerational Homes

The casserole dish has already been washed twice.

Steam curls above the sink while three generations hover in the same square of light—the daughter bent over homework, her mother fussing with leftovers, and her grandmother whisper-sighing, “You should really encourage her eat more protein.”

No one means harm.

But under that fluorescent glow, “care” feels like static: constant, well-intentioned, impossible to tune out.

Across America, kitchens like this are the emotional laboratories of the modern family.

Pew Research Center reports that nearly 1 in 5 Americans now lives in a multigenerational household.

The reasons are practical—child-care costs, student debt, elder care—but the side effects are often conflictual.

When too many emotional economies operate under one roof, affection begins to take on the texture of management.

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Family Life and Parenting Daniel Dashnaw Family Life and Parenting Daniel Dashnaw

Caring for Aging Parents While Working Full Time — Why America’s Sandwich Generation Is Burning Out

Her father texts during her Zoom meeting:
“Can you bring soup?”

She hits the thumbs-up emoji, mutes herself, and keeps nodding through a conversation about “quarterly outcomes.”


By the time the call ends, she’s got three browser tabs open—one for DoorDash, one for her daughter’s FAFSA, and one titled “How to talk to aging parents about independence.”

That’s what burnout looks like for America’s Sandwich Generation: love divided by logistics.

It’s the unpaid, unending role of caring for aging parents while still raising, funding, or worrying about your own kids. It’s devotion that’s begun to taste like debt.

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Family Life and Parenting Daniel Dashnaw Family Life and Parenting Daniel Dashnaw

The Bank of Mom and Dad: When Financial Help Becomes Emotional Debt

Your phone buzzes:
“Rent’s due—thanks, Mom ❤️.”

You stare at the heart emoji like it’s a receipt.

You tell yourself this is the last time.

Then you transfer the money and spend the next hour pretending you feel generous instead of cornered.

That’s how emotional debt begins: not with anger, but with relief.

Welcome to the quiet epidemic of financial enmeshment, where love and money blur into one long family subscription you forgot to cancel.

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Social Media and Relationships Daniel Dashnaw Social Media and Relationships Daniel Dashnaw

Do Beauty Ideals Shift with Socioeconomic Status?

The dorm light flickers. A cracked phone leans against a coffee mug. She snaps another shot, widens her eyes, shrinks her chin, and waits for the algorithm to smile back.

A new study in Telematics and Informatics — by Yao Song, Qiyuan Zhou, Wenyi Li, and Yuqing Liu of Sichuan University and Hong Kong Polytechnic University — analyzed more than 13,000 pairs of edited selfies from Rednote, one of China’s most popular lifestyle apps.

The researchers wanted to quantify what beauty means when filtered through class.

They discovered that as regional income falls, faces grow softer. Eyes widen, noses shrink, jaws narrow, skin brightens. The lower the GDP, the younger the face looks.

We talk about beauty as personal expression, but Liu’s dataset reads more like economic confession.

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