What is Narcissistic Abuse? Understanding Emotional and Psychological Manipulation

Narcissistic abuse occurs when an individual with narcissistic traits—such as an inflated sense of self-importance, lack of empathy, and a constant need for admiration—engages in patterns of emotional manipulation to control their partner.

Narcissistic partners use various tactics, including gaslighting, projection, and love-bombing, to gain dominance in relationships, leading their victims to feel confused, emotionally unstable, and often powerless.

Breakups are rarely simple, and as countless stories on Reddit’s r/BreakUps show, the end of a relationship is often fraught with confusion, pain, and a sense of regret.

But what if some of these relationships could have been saved? Could couples therapy have provided the tools needed to navigate conflict, heal emotional wounds, and avoid the final heartbreak?

In this blog post, we’ll explore common relationship issues shared on r/BreakUps and discuss how therapy might have helped these couples find resolution before reaching the breaking point.

Infidelity is one of the most devastating events that can happen in a relationship. While many people assume cheating marks the end of a relationship, others find ways to survive—and sometimes even strengthen—their bond after the betrayal.

Over on Reddit’s r/infidelity, users share stories of both heartbreak and recovery, offering insights into why some relationships endure infidelity while others do not.

This blog will explore what Reddit users have taught us about infidelity and the key factors that therapists believe determine whether a relationship can survive.

By combining real-life examples with therapeutic insights, we’ll dive deep into what it takes to rebuild trust and move forward after betrayal.

In Reddit’s r/relationship_advice, thousands of people post daily about their relationship challenges. These stories range from small disagreements to major conflicts that leave people questioning the future of their partnerships.

While the community is quick to offer support and advice, sometimes even the best Reddit suggestions fall short of offering a solution tailored to the unique emotional dynamics of a couple. This is where couples therapy comes in.

Therapy offers a personalized, evidence-based approach to addressing conflict, helping couples understand the root causes of their problems and work toward lasting solutions.

In the ever-popular r/relationship_advice subreddit, users from all walks of life post about their relationship challenges, hoping for validation or guidance.

Many times, these posts highlight what we, as therapists, often refer to as "red flags"—warning signs that something isn’t quite right.

Yet, for the people living through these experiences, these red flags are often missed or downplayed.

In this blog post, we’ll explore some of the most common red flags seen on r/relationship_advice, discuss what they reveal about unhealthy relationship dynamics, and, most importantly, explain how therapy can intervene before it’s too late.

If you’ve ever caught yourself staring at your phone, wondering why it’s taking your partner more than 30 seconds to respond, you might be familiar with anxious attachment. The good news? You’re not alone.

Enter Reddit’s r/AnxiousAttachment, where relationship anxiety meets the comfort of knowing that plenty of others are unraveling at exactly the same time.

For anyone who’s ever spiraled into overthinking because of a "seen" message that never led to a reply, or had their entire day thrown off by a partner’s neutral response (seriously, what does “sure” even mean?), this subreddit is a kind of therapy, mixed with humor and a hefty dose of "we're all in this together."

If you’ve ever found yourself emotionally distancing from someone at the first sign of intimacy, or if you’ve perfected the art of ghosting as a method of self-preservation, you might just find a home in the world of the Avoidant Attachment subreddit.

Yes, that’s right—there’s a thriving community of people who get that look of panic in their eyes at the word “vulnerable” and would rather jump out of a moving car than have “the talk.”

The Avoidant Attachment subreddit (r/AvoidantAttachment) is a safe haven for those who dance the delicate tango of keeping relationships at arm’s length while simultaneously pondering why they feel so alone.

Hoovering is a manipulative tactic used by folks—often those with narcissistic tendencies or other toxic personality traits—to regain control or re-enter a relationship after a breakup or period of separation.

The term is derived from the vacuum brand "Hoover," symbolizing how the person attempts to "suck" their former partner back into the relationship.Hoovering is rooted in control and manipulation, and understanding the psychological dynamics at play can help you see through the tactics.

Toxic humans, particularly those with narcissistic tendencies, thrive on validation and control.

They experience what’s known as narcissistic supply—a need for attention, adoration, and emotional engagement from those around them. When you break free and go no contact, you cut off this supply, leaving them feeling powerless or abandoned.

Hoovering is a way to reclaim that power. It often taps into emotional vulnerabilities, triggering feelings of guilt, nostalgia, or responsibility in the person who has been manipulated.

Research shows that toxic relationships, especially those with narcissists, can create something known as trauma bonds—emotional attachments that form during cycles of abuse and reconciliation (Carnes, 1997).

Breaking up is hard enough, but breaking up with a toxic ex can be even more complicated. Often, the best advice for healing from a toxic relationship is to establish a firm boundary—complete no contact.

This strategy is designed to protect your mental health, rebuild emotional stability, and create space for personal growth.

However, this process can leave your toxic ex feeling devalued, discarded, or even enraged.

This emotional paradox can make the no contact rule feel like a double-edged sword—one that both protects and disrupts.

In this post, we’ll explore the no contact rule, the reactions of a toxic ex, and how to navigate this complex dynamic.

You’ll learn how to protect yourself from further emotional manipulation while understanding why your ex might feel abandoned or rejected.

There’s something fascinating about the way emotions typically run high at an iconic Trump rally. It’s not just about politics—it’s about collective energy, belonging, and the thrill of rebellion.

In the world of psychoanalysis, there's a term for this kind of deep, almost excessive enjoyment: jouissance.

French psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan used the word to describe the type of pleasure that’s both thrilling and a little bit uncomfortable, where you push boundaries and break norms.

For Trump supporters, the rallies were more than just political events—they were an emotional experience that tapped into this jouissance by creating a space to defy the status quo, cheer, chant, and push back against what they saw as the "establishment."

But what happens when that pleasure gets disrupted?

Imagine this: Trump loses another election, and just before Thanksgiving, he’s sentenced to 5 years in prison. How does the energy that has fueled his rallies translate into such a sudden, shocking defeat? And most importantly, how will Trump’s most loyal supporters—the so-called "Trump cult"—react?

The End of Jouissance as They Know It?

When it comes to understanding why people stay in relationships—or leave them—Caryl Rusbult’s Investment Model is one of the most insightful and influential frameworks in social psychology.

Developed in the 1980s, Rusbult's Investment Model offers a comprehensive explanation of commitment in relationships, focusing on three critical factors: satisfaction, quality of alternatives, and investment.

John Gottman, one of the most renowned relationship experts, has praised Rusbult's work for its depth and accuracy, often referring to her research when discussing long-term relationship dynamics.

In this post, we'll explore the nuances of Rusbult's Investment Model, explaining each component in detail and demonstrating why it remains a key theory in understanding romantic relationships.

We'll also highlight Gottman’s reflections on Rusbult’s legacy, emphasizing the significant impact of her work in the field of relationship psychology.

Our nervous system is smarter than we give it credit for.

Sometimes, when we’re too busy or emotionally invested to notice that something's off in our relationship, our bodies step in to give us a nudge (or a shove).

Here are five signs from your nervous system that it might be time to re-evaluate your relationship.