When most long-term couples think about affection, they often picture either a quick peck on the cheek or a full-on romantic encounter.

But as I often remind couples, falling into the trap of equating sex solely with intercourse can limit your potential for both affection and intimacy.

According to sex therapists Barry McCarthy and E. McCarthy in their book "Enhancing Couple Sexuality," this mindset leads to lower levels of both affection and intercourse.

To avoid this trap, let’s consider how you and your partner discover and communicate about the various types of touch you each enjoy.

Spoiler alert: there’s a whole spectrum of touch to explore.

Recent research highlights the significant risks associated with hostile parenting, revealing that this approach can increase the likelihood of mental health issues by 150%.

This study, involving over 7,000 children, underscores the need for supportive, consistent, and warm parenting practices.

Let's also explore the philosophical implications of this research and why psychological hostility can be as detrimental as physical hostility.

Therapists often witness the deep longing people have for connection.

It's a paradox of our time: despite the myriad ways we can communicate, many of us feel more isolated than ever.

This paradox extends to our friendships, where people are often hesitant to revive old connections, despite the clear benefits of doing so.

A recent study by Dr. Gillian Sandstrom and Professor Lara Aknin sheds light on why this is the case and offers some insights into how we might overcome these barriers.

Let’s discuss the essential skills of Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

Originally developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan to treat Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), has proven to be an effective antidote to the emotional dysregulation and interpersonal chaos often associated with BPD.

But don't let the clinical jargon scare you off—DBT skills are essentially life skills that can help anyone navigate the choppy waters of their emotional life with greater ease and grace.

Imagine having a toolkit to help you stay calm during a heated argument, communicate your needs without escalating tensions, and even find inner peace amidst life's inevitable ups and downs.

Sounds like magic, right? Well, it’s not magic, but it is incredibly effective.

As a couples therapist, I've occassionally encountered folks who struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) in a way that doesn't fit the classic, more observable symptoms.

This subtler presentation is known as "quiet borderline" personality. Unlike their more overt counterparts, those with quiet BPD direct their intense emotions inward rather than outward, making their struggles less visible but equally challenging.

"What is a CSA survivor?" This crucial question addresses the experiences of folks who endured Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA) and its profound impact on their adult lives, especially within intimate relationships.

I've seen firsthand the complexities and challenges that CSA survivors face in their romantic partnerships.

This blog post considers the long-lasting effects of CSA, how these issues manifest in couples therapy, and strategies for fostering healing and intimacy.

Navigating the narcissistic landscape is like stepping into a surreal circus, where the ringmaster isn't just wearing a top hat but wielding a psychological whip of manipulation and control.

Today, we're diving into the curious and confounding realms of "triangulation and flying monkeys," two terms that sound straight out of a whimsical fairy tale but are, unfortunately, all too real in the landscape of narcissistic abuse.

Intimacy in 2024. In an era when our phones are smarter than we are and our fridges have Wi-Fi, one might think we've mastered the art of connection.

Alas, no.

I've seen that despite (or perhaps because of) all our technological advances, intimacy remains a delicate dance that many stumble through like toddlers at their first ballet recital.

Here’s my 2 cents on the obstacles to intimacy in 2024.

Clarice Babson (not her real name), a dynamic 27-year-old art director, recently found herself entangled in a complex emotional web after a workplace affair with her co-worker, Davida.

Her husband, Barry, a neurodiverse veterinarian with an anxiety disorder, is grappling with the aftermath of this revelation.

As they navigate the intricacies of their relationship, they are also exploring the possibilities of an open marriage and the unique challenges neurodiversity poses.

This transcript of a repair dialogue sheds light on their journey towards healing, interspersed with my commentary on their discussion on bisexuality, open marriage, and neurodiversity.

Marcia Pignelli, (not her real name) a vibrant 54-year-old woman with a knack for gardening and a passion for classic literature, recently faced a revelation that has reshaped her understanding of herself.

A retired elementary school teacher, Marcia has always been known for her meticulous attention to detail and her unwavering dedication to her students.

Living with her partner, Lisa, in a cozy rural home, Marcia had long attributed her quirks and sensitivities to just being "a bit different."

However, when she received an autism diagnosis, her world turned upside down.

Join us as we eavesdrop into Marcia’s journey, exploring the challenges and triumphs of navigating a late-life autism diagnosis with humor, grace, and newfound insight.

Childhood abuse leaves profound and lasting scars, affecting various aspects of one's life well into adulthood.

Here are nine behaviors commonly exhibited by folks who endured abuse as children. Understanding these patterns can offer insights into healing and finding a path toward a healthier emotional life.

Flying Monkeys are a concept deeply embedded in the dynamics of narcissistic abuse, as elucidated by thought leaders in the field.

These folks, unwittingly or willingly, become the enforcers of the narcissist's agenda, perpetuating the cycle of abuse.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a renowned clinical psychologist and expert in narcissism, describes flying monkeys as "the foot soldiers of the narcissist's army," highlighting their role in carrying out the narcissist's manipulative tactics.