Some defense mechanisms are particularly robust, and can cause lots of meaningless suffering. Do any of these sound familiar?

We all are defensive from time to time, but what are the most primitive defense mechanisms that can really screw up a relationship?

It’s been estimated that about 20% of American couples find themselves in the distressing situation of a sexless marriage.

If you’re picky, and choose your friends wisely, and now there’s some new research indicating that doing so can boost your well-being.

20 years ago Dr. Shirley Glass researched affairs in the workplace. What have we learned over 2 decades?

Some things hurt so bad, you hesitate to burden your partner…intimacy is about the hard things too…

This is an emerging cross-cultural fact.

It doesn’t matter who you ask or where you look, long-term enduring family bonds are more important than preserving your health, finding a significant other, achieving status, or even self-preservation…

But why?

What is the Gottman Sound Relationship House? It seems that you can’t find a Gottman trained blogger or Gottman “informed” therapist website, that doesn’t rhapsodize about it. They all seem to approach it similarly.

I thought that in this post, I might meander a path to the side door instead of taking the usual six-lane superhighway to the front door of the Sound Relationship House.

Here is an interesting idea.

Could it be possible that your depressed husband and your couples therapist, (regardless of gender) are naturally at odds with one another?

A self-absorbed parent is annoyed with the provisioning requirements that a child needs to thrive.

This ultimately results in the range of emotional and psychological difficulties for my now adult clients as they navigate their awareness of a toxic parental legacy :

dubious self-esteem, conflict avoidance, porous boundaries, and emotional guardrails made out of jello…