Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a novel approach to psychotherapy developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz.

This model posits that our psyche comprises various sub-personalities or "parts," each with unique perspectives and roles.

IFS therapy helps folks to harmonize these parts, fostering internal balance and healing.

This process has peaked interest for individual therapy.

It has profound implications for external family systems, as understanding and integrating our internal parts can significantly improve how we relate to others.

A well-trained couples therapist, will delve deeply into the theoretical foundations, techniques, and outcomes associated with different therapeutic models to effectively tailor interventions to the needs of each couple.

In this post, we will explore Gottman Couples Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy in detail.

As a couples therapist, the concept of two-person integrity is pivotal in understanding healthy relationships.

It refers to the delicate balance between maintaining one's individuality and being committed to the partnership.

Think of two-person integrity as walking a tightrope while juggling—challenging but essential for a harmonious relationship. This balance is crucial for both personal well-being and the health of the relationship.

Intimacy in 2024. In an era when our phones are smarter than we are and our fridges have Wi-Fi, one might think we've mastered the art of connection.

Alas, no.

I've seen that despite (or perhaps because of) all our technological advances, intimacy remains a delicate dance that many stumble through like toddlers at their first ballet recital.

Here’s my 2 cents on the obstacles to intimacy in 2024.

Every marriage has an inherent tension between the need for independence and the desire for intimacy.

Couples therapists call this delicate balance "differentiation."

Differentiation in marriage is all about personal growth while maintaining a close relationship.

As Ellyn Bader puts it, differentiation is "the active, ongoing process of defining self, expressing and activating self, revealing self, clarifying boundaries, and managing the anxiety that comes from risking either more intimacy or potential separation."

Esther Perel, a renowned psychotherapist and relationship expert, has captured the hearts and minds of many with her insights on love and desire.

One of her most provocative ideas is that "love is not a permanent state of enthusiasm."

While her perspective offers a refreshing departure from the fairy-tale notion of everlasting passion, it is essential to critically examine whether or not this idea may inadvertently capitulate to cultural narcissism.

The best couples therapy dives deep into the human condition, beyond just treating symptoms.

It embraces life's uncertainties and absurdities, encouraging us to face our freedom, isolation, mortality, and quest for meaning.

This journey isn't easy; it demands honesty, courage, and a willingness to truly know oneself.

All in pursuit of reclaiming intimacy in a marriage…

The Zeigarik Effect impacted couples therapy by suggesting that attachment injuries, such as regrettable incidents, and the equally regrettable resentments which follow, are “undelivered plates” which loiter in the kitchen sink of memory.

Collect too many of these undelivered plates, and your kitchen is one inconsolable mess…

Religion often has something to say about best practices in marriage.

In the Baha'i Faith, consultation is a cornerstone of decision-making and conflict resolution, particularly within the context of marriage.

This spiritual and practical approach emphasizes unity, respect, and collective wisdom, fostering harmony and understanding between spouses. Let’s learn more…

The COVID-19 pandemic has significantly reshaped the landscape of couples therapy in the United States, driving both challenges and innovations in how couples therapy is conducted and perceived.

With the onset of the pandemic, couples faced unprecedented stressors, including health anxieties, financial uncertainties, and the pressures of constant togetherness.

Christian couples get a raw deal in secular couples therapy, and Christian couples counseling is often uninformed by science.

Psychotherapy has never been particularly curious about religious faith of any kind.

Most modern therapists do not tend to describe themselves as religious or even particularly spiritual (Bilgrave & Deluty, 2002) and (Smith & Orlinsky, 2004).

As a couples therapist, I often emphasize the transformative power of Generative Conversations.

One particularly impactful method is the Anatol Rapoport Intervention, an integral part of Gottman Theory.

This intervention, rooted in the work of Russian mathematical genius Anatol Rapoport, offers profound insights into improving communication between partners.

Who Was Anatol Rapoport?