Welcome to my Blog

Most people don’t arrive here because something dramatic has happened.

They arrive because something feels… different.

The relationship still works. Conversations still happen. Life continues.

But something important is no longer organizing it the way it used to.

This space is where I write about that shift.

Not just what breaks relationships—but what quietly changes them:

  • how desire adapts.

  • how attention moves.

  • how meaning erodes or deepens over time.

These patterns are not random.
They tend to unfold in a predictable sequence.

If you’re here, you’re likely in one of those moments:

  • trying to understand what changed.

  • trying to decide whether it matters.

  • trying to figure out what to do next.

Start anywhere.

But if something here feels familiar, don’t treat it as abstract.

It usually isn’t.

Where to Begin

If you’re not sure what you’re looking for, these are a few good entry points:

If You’re Looking for More Than Insight

Understanding is useful.

But at a certain point, most couples realize they can explain their relationship clearly—and still not change it.

That’s where focused work becomes effective.

I offer structured, high-impact couples intensives designed to produce meaningful movement in a compressed period of time.

Before We Decide Anything

A brief consultation helps determine:

  • whether this is what you’re dealing with.

  • whether this format fits.

  • and whether we should move forward.

Get a Clear Read on Your Relationship

Take your time reading.

But if something here lands in a way that feels specific—pay attention to that.

That’s usually where this work begins.

Continue Exploring

If you prefer to browse more broadly, you can explore posts by topic below.

But most people don’t find what they need by browsing.

They find it when something they read feels uncomfortably accurate.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
~ Daniel

 

What Happy Couples Know Daniel Dashnaw What Happy Couples Know Daniel Dashnaw

What does familiarity breeds contempt mean?

Ever heard the phrase "familiarity breeds contempt"? According to psychologists, the more we know about someone, the less we might actually like them.

Surprising, right? Especially given how many of us are eternal optimists about forming new relationships.

Let's explore this phenomenon and understand why too much familiarity can sometimes lead to disappointment.

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What Happy Couples Know Daniel Dashnaw What Happy Couples Know Daniel Dashnaw

Will Crypto become the currency of Cultural Narcissism?

In a survey of 2,001 Americans, crypto ownership was also associated with being male and high-income, consuming fringe media, and reporting feelings of victimhood.

Owning cryptocurrency isn't just about dodging financial norms—it's about embodying a certain set of personality traits and demographics, according to a study published on July 3, 2024, in the open-access journal PLOS ONE.

Shane Littrell from the University of Toronto, along with colleagues from the University of Miami, USA, spearheaded this dive into the psyche of crypto enthusiasts.

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What Happy Couples Know Daniel Dashnaw What Happy Couples Know Daniel Dashnaw

The surprising link between fluid intelligence and short-term memory

Ever wonder if you have a high fluid IQ? Well, it might be hiding in your short-term memory!

Psychological research reveals that the ability to store more items in short-term memory indicates a higher fluid IQ.

The average number of things people can store in short-term memory, whether words, numbers, or random facts, is around four. And don't blink because short-term memory only lasts about 15 to 30 seconds.

However, if you can juggle more than four items in your short-term memory, it suggests you might have an above-average IQ.

Or does it?

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What Happy Couples Know Daniel Dashnaw What Happy Couples Know Daniel Dashnaw

Get the Gouge and Embrace the Suck for Life and Legacy

In military slang, "the gouge" refers to vital information, tips, or insider knowledge that helps service members prepare for tests, evaluations, or assignments.

This concept can be wonderfully applied to science-based couples therapy, which offers essential tools, hacks, and strategies for navigating and enhancing intimate relationships.

Additionally, the military phrase "embrace the suck," which means to accept and endure difficult situations, also holds valuable wisdom for couples therapy. Let’s explore how these concepts from military slang can be applied to couples therapy to improve life and legacy.

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What Happy Couples Know Daniel Dashnaw What Happy Couples Know Daniel Dashnaw

5 Touch Types to Transform Your Relationship

When most long-term couples think about affection, they often picture either a quick peck on the cheek or a full-on romantic encounter.

But as I often remind couples, falling into the trap of equating sex solely with intercourse can limit your potential for both affection and intimacy.

According to sex therapists Barry McCarthy and E. McCarthy in their book "Enhancing Couple Sexuality," this mindset leads to lower levels of both affection and intercourse.

To avoid this trap, let’s consider how you and your partner discover and communicate about the various types of touch you each enjoy.

Spoiler alert: there’s a whole spectrum of touch to explore.

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How the Gottman repair checklist can help you rapidly repair with your partner

In his book, The Science of Trust, Dr. John Gottman explains that 91% of our time spent together as a couple is spent as a foursome…because when you’re not emotionally available with your real partner, you may be in deep communion with the partner in your head.

That’s why this post talks to you about one of the most powerful interventions in science-based couples therapy…the Gottman Repair Checklist.

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