The simple reason why most folks fail to follow through on their plans

Thursday, July 4, 2024.

As a couples therapist, I've seen it all.

From grandiose plans to mundane daily tasks, we humans often struggle to follow through.

It turns out that the secret to achieving goals lies in understanding both the psychology of decision-making and the psychology of implementing our plans.

The Allure of Rewards

When we make decisions, we’re like kids in a candy store, dazzled by the shiny rewards.

This focus on rewards is our Achilles' heel.

For instance, you might plan to get up earlier to enjoy a healthy breakfast before work. But come morning, the snooze button wins. Why? Because those extra ten minutes of sleep feel like heaven compared to the abstract reward of a healthy breakfast.

This reward-focused mindset is why so many plans fail.

We dream big but stumble over the barriers. Dr. Agata Ludwiczak and Dr. Magda Osman conducted a fascinating study highlighting this conundrum. Participants were given various physical and mental tasks with different payoffs. Naturally, people gravitated toward higher-paying tasks.

But here’s the kicker: they didn’t exert much more effort even when the reward was greater.

The Reward Trap

Dr. Ludwiczak explains, “Common sense suggests the amount of effort we put into a task directly relates to the level of reward we expect in return. However, building psychological and economic evidence indicates that often high rewards are not enough to ensure people put in the effort they need to achieve their targets. We have found that there isn’t a direct relationship between the amount of reward that is at stake and the amount of effort people actually put in.”

What really determines our performance is the effort required. People shy away from tasks that demand more effort, regardless of the potential reward. Dr. Osman notes, “If we aren’t careful, our plans can be informed by unrealistic expectations because we pay too much attention to the rewards. Then when we face the reality of our choices, we realize the effort is too much and give up.”

The effort dilemma

Understanding the effort dilemma is crucial.

But we often set ourselves up for failure by not considering the realistic barriers to our plans.

Let’s face it: getting up early to exercise sounds fantastic when you’re making New Year’s resolutions.

But when your alarm goes off on a frigid January morning, the allure of a fit body isn’t enough to pry you from your cozy bed.

This disconnect between our aspirations and our actions is a fundamental issue. We need to bridge the gap between decision-making and implementation. It’s not just about setting goals but creating actionable, manageable steps to achieve them.

Implications for couples

So, what does this mean for relationships? It’s simple: focus less on the rewards and more on the realistic barriers you’ll face.

For example, planning a weekly date night sounds wonderful, but if you don’t account for your demanding work schedules, you’ll end up canceling more often than not.

Instead, plan for manageable, low-effort activities that you’re both likely to follow through on.

Understanding this dynamic can help you set more realistic goals and improve your follow-through individually and as a couple.

Here’s a thought: instead of a grand date night every week, try shorter, more frequent check-ins with your partner.

This could be as simple as a 15-minute conversation over coffee every morning. Lowering the effort barrier can make it easier to stick to your plans.

Questions for Reflection

• Are you setting realistic expectations in your relationship? Think about the effort required for your plans, not just the rewards.

• How can you and your partner support each other in overcoming these barriers? Teamwork makes the dream work, after all.

• What small, manageable steps can you take today to bring you closer to your goals? Remember, progress is progress, no matter how small.

Final thoughts

The implications of this research extend beyond personal goals and relationships.

It also impacts our professional lives, health, and overall well-being. For instance, managers often set high-performance goals in the workplace with attractive incentives.

However, employees may become demotivated and disengaged if the effort required to achieve these goals is not realistically considered.

Similarly, in the realm of health and fitness, we see people make ambitious plans to overhaul their lifestyles, only to abandon them when the effort feels overwhelming. Small, incremental changes that require less effort are often more sustainable and lead to long-term success.

Understanding the psychology of effort and reward can help us design better strategies for achieving our goals.

It reminds us to be kind to ourselves and to set realistic expectations.

After all, the journey to self-improvement is a marathon, not a sprint. So, as you plan your next steps, ask yourself: are you focusing too much on the rewards and not enough on the effort required? How can you make your goals more manageable and realistic?

Consider these questions and adjust your approach. You could increase your chances of success and enjoy the journey along the way.

And maybe, just maybe, hit the snooze button a little less often.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

RESEARCH:

Ludwiczak, A., Osman, M., & Jahanshahi, M. (2020). Redefining the relationship between effort and reward: Choice-execution model of effort-based decisions. Behavioural Brain Research, 383, 112474. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bbr.2020.112474