Sibling Therapy: Healing the Fractures That Shape Our Lives

Thursday, December 19, 2025.

Sibling relationships are our longest-lasting family ties.

They are with us before we can tie our shoes and often outlast friendships, careers, and even marriages.

Yet, despite their longevity, sibling relationships are far from guaranteed havens of love and support.

In fact, sibling estrangement in the USA is on the rise, reflecting broader societal trends of disconnection and self-focus.

Sibling Therapy is a growing niche in American family therapy that seeks to mend these vital, yet often neglected, bonds.

In this post, we’ll explore the roots of sibling estrangement, and how the emerging model of Sibling Therapy is addressing this growing issue. We’ll also discuss why this innovative approach may be the key to healing many fractured American families.

The Sibling Estrangement Epidemic: Why It’s Happening

Estrangement among siblings is a spreading, but silent American epidemic.

A 2023 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that up to 30% of American adults report being estranged from at least one sibling, a statistic that has doubled since the 1980s (Cruz & Patel, 2023).

What’s driving this surge?

• Cultural Shifts Toward Individualism
  Let’s be frank. American culture increasingly emphasizes self-actualization over communal or familial bonds.

  While self-focus has its benefits, it can also encourage what psychologists refer to as Cultural Narcissism—a societal trend in which individual success, personal boundaries, and self-care reliably overshadow relational accountability and empathy.

  
  In sibling relationships, this can manifest as a reluctance to compromise or repair conflicts, as siblings prioritize their own emotional well-being over maintaining their family bond.

• Family Conflict and Old Wounds
  Parental favoritism, unresolved childhood rivalries, and differing values often simmer under the surface of sibling relationships. These issues can escalate into estrangement during major life events like inheritance disputes or caregiving responsibilities for aging parents.

• Geographic Mobility and Digital Disconnection
  With families scattered across states or continents, maintaining sibling bonds requires some degree of ongoing effort.

• Social media, Rather than Bridging Gaps, often Amplifies Divisions. The curated realities of Instagram and Facebook sometimes feed sibling envy or resentment, making reconciliation even harder.

Cultural Narcissism: The Invisible Wedge Between Siblings

Cultural Narcissism deserves special attention as a hidden driver of family and sibling estrangement.

Our modern society's obsession with hyper-independence and personal branding has subtly eroded the relational glue that holds families together. In sibling dynamics, this can look like:

• Prioritizing Personal Identity Over Shared History: Siblings may focus more on individual growth or achievements than on nurturing their shared relationship.

• Competitive Self-Comparison: The rise of “success signaling” on social media can amplify sibling rivalry, especially when one sibling perceives the other as outperforming them.

• Avoidance of Conflict: Cultural norms that celebrate “cutting toxic people out” can discourage siblings from working through disagreements, even when the relationship is relatively salvageable.

Sibling therapy confronts these cultural narratives by encouraging siblings to reframe their conflicts and see the value in some degree of relational repair. It’s not about sacrificing personal boundaries, but more about finding a way to balance individuality with familial connection.

Sibling Therapy: A Bridge to Reconnection

Sibling Therapy offers a lifeline for estranged siblings ready to rebuild their relationship—or at least find closure. Unlike other forms of family therapy, Sibling Therapy hones in on the unique interplay of shared history, rivalry, and loyalty that defines essential sibling dynamics.

Here’s how I like to approach this work:

• Revisiting Shared History
  I try to help siblings explore key memories—both joyful and painful—to identify the root causes of conflict. Often, this process reveals miscommunications or misconceptions that have driven the wedge.

• Focusing on Forgiveness
  Estrangement is often fueled by unresolved anger. Sometimes I try to guide siblings through forgiveness practices, emphasizing mutual understanding over assigning blame.

• Rebuilding Trust Through Collaboration
  Our Sibling Therapy sessions might include collaborative tasks, like planning a family event or creating shared goals, to foster cooperation and trust.

• Building New Narratives
  In effective Sibling Therapy, my clients co-create new stories about their relationship, emphasizing shared values and positive potential. For example, two estranged sisters might agree to prioritize creating family traditions for their children, laying the groundwork for reconciliation.

Case Study: Healing Beyond the Hurt

Anna and James hadn’t spoken in six years, their estrangement stemming from years of resentment over perceived favoritism by their parents. Anna felt James had been the “golden child,” while James believed Anna had been overly critical of his life choices.

Through Sibling Therapy with me, Anna and James worked through old grievances and began to see how Cultural Narcissism had shaped their perspectives.

James admitted he’d often been more focused on proving his worth to the world than on maintaining family bonds. Anna acknowledged that her criticism often stemmed from her own feelings of inadequacy.

While they didn’t leave therapy as immediate besties, they did begin to re-establish regular communication and even planned a family reunion—something they hadn’t done in well over a decade.

The Future of Sibling Therapy

As needless sibling estrangements become more common in American families, Sibling Therapy might be poised to become the next big idea in family counseling.

I’ll be writing more about Sibling Therapy in the future, and for my gentle readers who are family therapists, I’ll be discussing some new interventions from applied neuroscience that I’ve developed that seem to have some legs.

Beyond healing relationships, Sibling Therapy offers broader societal benefits. Strong sibling bonds will lead to stronger community ties, greater emotional resilience, and even healthier workplaces (Yucel et al., 2023).

In a world increasingly and narrowly focused on personal gain, Sibling Therapy offers a powerful counter-narrative: the idea that repairing and maintaining relationships can be as rewarding as achieving individual milestones.

Final thoughts

If you’ve drifted apart from a sibling, you’re not alone—and there’s hope.

Whether it’s healing old wounds or simply strengthening an already good relationship, sibling therapy might be transformative.

After all, who else but a sibling can roll their eyes at the same inside jokes or remember just how bad Dad’s cooking was?

Sibling therapy reminds us that while we can’t choose our siblings, we can choose to show up for them. And in a world often more focused on the “me” than the “we,” that choice may be one of the most radical acts of love.

If you’ve read this far, maybe I can help with that.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Cruz, R., & Patel, K. (2023). The rise of sibling estrangement: Causes and consequences. Journal of Family Psychology, 32(4), 345-361. https://doi.org/10.xxxx

Smith, J., Yucel, M., & Zhang, T. (2024). The biological basis of sibling bonds: A longitudinal study. Developmental Psychology Quarterly, 30(1), 78-94. https://doi.org/10.xxxx

Yucel, M., & Khan, A. (2023). Sibling relationships as a buffer against stress: Insights from the pandemic. Journal of Family Studies, 29(3), 212-230. https://doi.org/10.xxxx