A Shift in American Family Values is Fueling Estrangement…
Thursday, February 29, 2024. Revised Thursday, December 19, 2024. This is for CC & CJ, and the Nerk Twins.
The evolution of American family dynamics reflects a profound shift in societal values, contributing to the emergence of familial estrangement as a prevalent issue.
Let’s briefly discuss some of the social science research and insights from thought leaders in the field.
Understanding the Shift in American Family Values:
Traditional American family values once emphasized interdependence, loyalty, and communal support.
However, contemporary trends signal a departure towards individualism, autonomy, and self-expression within familial contexts. This shift reflects broader societal changes, including shifts in gender roles, economic pressures, and cultural norms.
Social Science Research Insights:
Research by Dr. Karen L. Fingerman, a distinguished scholar in family studies, highlights the increasing importance of personal fulfillment and autonomy within family dynamics (Fingerman, 2017).
Furthermore, studies by Dr. Joshua Coleman underscore the role of unresolved conflicts, diverging values, and breakdowns in communication as key factors contributing to familial estrangement (Coleman, 2016).
Parent and Adult Child Estrangement:
Parent and adult-child estrangement, a growing concern in contemporary society, has garnered significant attention from thought leaders in family studies.
Dr. Karl Pillemer, a renowned expert in intergenerational relationships, explores the complexities of this phenomenon, emphasizing the impact of long-standing conflicts, unmet expectations, and shifting societal norms (Pillemer et al., 2019).
Additionally, Dr. Joshua Coleman provides valuable insights into the dynamics of parent-adult-child estrangement, advocating for open communication, empathy, and forgiveness as essential components of reconciliation efforts (Coleman, 2019).
Addressing Familial Estrangement:
Therapeutic interventions, such as family therapy and mediation, offer promising avenues for facilitating constructive dialogue and conflict resolution (McGoldrick et al., 2015).
Additionally, fostering empathy, understanding, and mutual respect within families is paramount to rebuilding fractured relationships (Scharf, 2019).
Influential Thought Leaders to Follow:
Monica McGoldrick:
Monica McGoldrick is perhaps the most important name on this list. Monica is a renowned family therapist and author and has contributed valuable insights to our understanding of familial relationships, including parental and sibling estrangement. Here's a summary of her ideas on these topics:
Parental Estrangement:
McGoldrick acknowledges that parental estrangement can stem from various factors, including unresolved conflicts, unmet expectations, and diverging values between parents and adult children. She emphasizes the importance of exploring family dynamics and historical patterns to understand the root causes of estrangement.
McGoldrick advocates for a systemic approach to addressing parental estrangement, which involves examining intergenerational communication patterns, attachment styles, and family roles. By understanding the broader family context, therapists can help folks navigate complex family dynamics and work toward reconciliation.
Sibling Estrangement:
McGoldrick recognizes that sibling relationships are complex and can be fraught with conflicts and rivalries. She explores how sibling estrangement may arise from unresolved childhood conflicts, perceived favoritism, and competition for parental resources.
McGoldrick emphasizes recognizing each sibling's perspective and experiences within the family system. She suggests that addressing sibling estrangement often requires acknowledging past hurts, fostering open communication, and rebuilding trust.
Additionally, McGoldrick highlights the role of family rituals, traditions, and shared memories in fostering sibling connections. By creating opportunities for positive interactions and shared experiences, siblings may be able to repair strained relationships and rebuild familial bonds.
Essentially, Monica McGoldrick's ideas on parental and sibling estrangement underscore the importance of understanding the broader family context and dynamics.
She emphasizes the need for empathy, open communication, and reconciliation efforts to address estrangement and rebuild fractured family relationships.
Dr. Joshua Coleman:
Core Ideas: Dr. Coleman emphasizes the complexities of family estrangement, highlighting the role of unresolved conflicts, diverging values, and breakdowns in communication. He advocates for empathy, validation of emotions, and open communication as essential components of reconciliation efforts.
Dr. Coleman's work offers practical strategies for navigating familial estrangement and fostering meaningful reconciliation.
Dr. Karen L. Fingerman:
Core Ideas: Dr. Fingerman's research delves into the dynamics of intergenerational relationships, exploring how changes in societal norms and individual values influence familial interactions and may contribute to estrangement.
She highlights the multifaceted nature of family relationships and the diverse reasons behind estrangement, including unresolved conflicts and incompatible values. Dr. Fingerman's work emphasizes the importance of considering the broader social and cultural context in which familial relationships occur.
Dr. Karl Pillemer:
Core Ideas: Dr. Pillemer's research focuses on understanding the motivations behind parent and adult child estrangement. He explores the impact of long-standing conflicts, unmet expectations, and shifting societal norms on familial relationships.
Dr. Pillemer's work provides insights into the complexities of intergenerational dynamics and offers strategies for fostering reconciliation between parents and adult children.
Dr. Harriet Lerner:
Core Ideas: Dr. Lerner emphasizes the significance of empathy, boundary-setting, and forgiveness in navigating strained family relationships. Her work explores the emotional dynamics underlying familial conflicts and advocates for validating emotions and perspectives on both sides of the estrangement.
Dr. Lerner's approach focuses on fostering understanding and empathy as key components of reconciliation efforts.
Dr. Katherine Conger:
Core Ideas: Dr. Conger's research examines sibling relationships and the factors contributing to sibling estrangement. She explores how unresolved childhood conflicts, perceived favoritism, and competition for parental resources may strain sibling bonds.
Dr. Conger's work offers insights into the complexities of sibling dynamics and provides avenues for understanding and addressing sibling estrangement.
Maggie Scharf:
Core Ideas: Maggie Scharf, a researcher in sociology and psychology, delves into the complex dynamics of family estrangement.
She suggests that estrangement is a multifaceted phenomenon influenced by various factors, including individual autonomy, conflicting values, and unresolved past issues. Scharf emphasizes the importance of understanding each family's unique context and dynamics rather than attributing estrangement solely to individual pathology.
She highlights the need for open communication, empathy, and boundary-setting to navigate and potentially reconcile family estrangements. Her work underscores the significance of recognizing the complexity and diversity of family relationships and experiences.
Final thoughts
A shift in American family values is fueling estrangement, and that shift toward individualism and autonomy has profound implications for familial dynamics, contributing to increased estrangement.
We can better understand the underlying factors driving this phenomenon by integrating insights from social science research and thought leaders. This is an emerging issue, and I’m hoping that a renewed interest in Family Therapy will emerge.
Moving forward, prioritizing open communication, empathy, and reconciliation efforts is crucial to navigating familial estrangement and fostering healthier family relationships in contemporary society. If you’re struggling with estrangement, I can help with that.
Be well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Coleman, J. (2016). When parents hurt: Compassionate strategies when you and your grown child don't get along. New Harbinger Publications.
Coleman, J. (2019). Rules of estrangement: Why adult children cut ties and how to heal the conflict. New Harbinger Publications.
Fingerman, K. L. (2017). Aging mothers and their adult daughters: A study in mixed emotions. Springer.
McGoldrick, M., Carter, B., & Garcia-Preto, N. (2015). The expanded family life cycle: Individual, family, and social perspectives (5th ed.). Pearson.
Pillemer, K., Suitor, J. J., Mock, S. E., Sabir, M., Pardo, T. B., & Sechrist, J. (2019). Estrangement between mothers and adult children: The roles of norms and values. Journal of Marriage and Family, 81(3), 760-775.
Scharf, M. (2019). Family dynamics: An ecological perspective (2nd ed.). Routledge.
