The toxic legacy of parental favoritism…
Monday, August 28, 2023.
Breaking research has uncovered how parental favoritism affects cohesion within the family system. What happens when parents favor one child over the others? It builds a potentially lifelong resentment between siblings.
When a parent, or parents prefer one child over others, it dismantles family cohesion. Researchers noted that a father’s differential treatment of his children, in particular, is destructive to the emotional bonds within the family. This might be a factor in daddy estrangement that might be a worthy research topic.
Earlier research has already established that it is the youngest kiddos who suffer the most damage to from parental favoritism (Jensen et al., 2017). The reason might be that tendency for the youngest children to compare themselves to their oldest siblings.
Interestingly enough, the eldest children seem to be buffered somewhat by their birth-order position when realize that they are not seen in a favorable light.
How the study was conducted
. Ms Weimiao Zhou is an an interesting researcher in family systems. Her first study, accepted by Family Relations, examines the moderating effects of parental differential treatment on the association between family cohesion and adolescent sibling relationship quality.
Her dissertation explored young human experiences of unequal family resources.
She drew from attachment theory and equity theory. Her research data described what often constitutes parent-offspring communication about unfairness in the family, and how secure attachment and communication can impact a siblings’ perceptions of fairness of parental differentiation.
For the study, 325 adults were asked about their relationships with their parents and siblings.
The data suggests that the closer the siblings bonds, the greater overall unity that the family displayed.
However, when parents exhibited ‘parental differential treatment’ (PDT), family unity deteriorated.
What is Parental Differential Treatment?
The researchers defined Parental Differential Treatment as when parents discipline, punish or blame one child more or less, or show higher or lower levels of warmth, care and love to one child.
This is particularly devastating when it is by the father.
A study from Hong Kong suggests their is a cultural dimension to PDT. Teens who believe that their parents treat them less favorably than their siblings have poorer psychosocial well-being than otherwise. This phenomenon, which is known as Parental Differential Treatment or PDT occurs in up to 65% of Hong Kong families.
Ms Weimiao Zhou, the study’s first author, said:
“…fathers’ differential treatment emerged as a more robust moderator, in comparison to mothers, with regard to the strength (of the relationship) between cohesion and sibling relationship quality.”
Ms Zhou explained that family cohesion…
“…means that families have lots of routines that promote togetherness, as well as parents who try to treat children as equal.
Those two factors work together to promote the siblings’ relationships.”
The flaw of family favoritism…
Treating children fairly does not necessarily mean treating them the same.
Different children need different parenting strategies — the most obvious differentiator being age.
Ms Zhou said:
“It’s OK to show differentiation.
It’s just maybe that fathers need to provide more information about why they engage in differential treatment to help their children process the reasoning part of PDT, so as to reduce that kind of negative effects … to help the siblings to have pro-social behaviors and more positive interactions.”
Estrangement between siblings can sometimes be attributed to Parental Differential Treatment.
Stay kind and Godspeed.
RESEARCH:
Jensen, A.C. and McHale, S.M. (2017), Mothers', fathers', and siblings' perceptions of parents' differential treatment of siblings: Links with family relationship qualities. Journal of Adolescence, 60: 119-129. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.adolescence.2017.08.002
Young, L. C. (2011). Young Adults’ Perceptions of Parental Differential Treatment Measurement and Relations to Psychological Adjustment, Attachment Style, and Close Relationship. Ph. D. thesis, University of Victoria, Victoria, BC.
Zhou, W., & Woszidlo, A. (2023). Young adults' retrospective reports of family cohesion, parental differential treatment, and sibling relationships. Family Relations, 1–19. https://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12878
