Coercive Control: Why Society Overlooks Male and LGBTQ+ Victims

Friday, April 17, 2026.

Let’s talk about coercive control—a term that sounds like it belongs in a dystopian novel but is, unfortunately, a very real and insidious form of abuse.

A recent study published in Sex Roles has revealed a troubling blind spot in how society perceives victims of coercive control.

Spoiler alert: if the victim is a man, people tend to shrug it off as “not that bad.”

And if the victim is part of the LGBTQ+ community? Well, the concern plummets even further.

This research, led by A-list researcher Julie-Ann Jordan and her team, shines a light on how deeply ingrained stereotypes shape our understanding of abuse.

It’s a sobering reminder that while we’ve made strides in recognizing domestic violence, we still have a long way to go in acknowledging that anyone—regardless of gender or sexual orientation—can be a victim.

What Is Coercive Control, Anyway?

Before we dive into the study, let’s define what coercive control actually means.

It’s not just a one-off argument or a bad day in a relationship. Coercive control is a sustained campaign of domination, isolation, and intimidation.

Think of it as a slow erosion of someone’s freedom and independence.

It can range from overt threats of violence to subtler manipulations like dictating what someone wears or eats.

Evan Stark, who first conceptualized coercive control in his groundbreaking book Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life, describes it as a pattern of behaviors designed to strip victims of their autonomy and sense of self.

While public awareness campaigns have done a decent job highlighting coercive control in heterosexual relationships where women are the victims, they’ve largely ignored other dynamics.

This oversight leaves men and LGBTQ+ life partners at a higher risk of being overlooked and underserved.

The Study: What Did They Find?

Jordan and her colleagues surveyed 1,872 adults in the U.S., presenting them with scenarios of coercive control.

These scenarios varied by the gender and sexual orientation of the victim and perpetrator.

Participants were asked to rate the severity of the abuse and whether the victim should seek help. Here’s where things get interesting (and by “interesting,” we mean frustrating):

• Obvious Abuse vs. Subtle Abuse.
  When the abuse was blatant—think death threats or financial control—participants were more likely to recognize it as harmful. But even then, they were quicker to empathize with female victims than male ones. Subtle abuse, like controlling a partner’s wardrobe or social interactions, was often dismissed as “not a big deal” when the victim was a man.

• Gender Bias.
  The gender of the victim had a much larger impact on public perception than the gender of the perpetrator. Men experiencing subtle abuse from women were met with the least concern. It’s as if society collectively decided, “He’ll be fine. He’s a guy.”

LGBTQ+ Dynamics.
Participants in same-sex relationship scenarios faced an additional layer of bias. LGBTQ+ respondents themselves were less likely to view coercive control as dangerous or criminal, possibly because such behaviors have been normalized within their communities. Research by Donovan and Hester (2014) highlights that LGBTQ+ life partners often face unique forms of abuse, such as threats to “out” their sexual orientation or isolate them from their community.

Why Does This Matter?

The implications of these findings are huge.

If society doesn’t take male and LGBTQ+ victims seriously, they’re less likely to seek help—and even less likely to receive it.

This isn’t just a theoretical problem; it’s a real barrier to safety and recovery.

Research by Hines and Douglas (2010) found that male victims of intimate partner violence often face skepticism, even from law enforcement and support services.

This skepticism can discourage men from reporting abuse or seeking help, perpetuating the cycle of silence and neglect.

For LGBTQ+ life partners, the challenges are even more complex.

Guadalupe-Diaz and Anthony (2017) found that transgender survivors of intimate partner violence often struggle to have their experiences validated, both within their communities and by external support systems. This lack of recognition can lead to feelings of isolation and hopelessness.

FAQ: Let’s Break It Down

Why are men and LGBTQ+ victims taken less seriously?

It boils down to societal stereotypes and biases. For men, the pervasive belief that they should be “strong,” “stoic,” and “self-reliant” creates a barrier to empathy.

When a man is a victim of coercive control, people often dismiss it as something he should be able to “handle” on his own. This is rooted in traditional gender norms that equate masculinity with invulnerability.

For LGBTQ+ life partners, the issue is compounded by a lack of representation in public awareness campaigns.

Historically, domestic abuse has been framed as a heterosexual issue, leaving LGBTQ+ victims feeling invisible. Donovan and Hester’s research underscores how these dynamics play out in real life.

What are some examples of coercive control that people often overlook?

Coercive control isn’t always dramatic or obvious. Here are some subtle examples that often fly under the radar:

• Dictating personal choices: Forcing a partner to dress a certain way or eat specific foods.

• Social isolation: Discouraging or outright forbidding a partner from seeing friends or family.

• Financial control: Taking over a partner’s finances or limiting their access to money.

• Emotional manipulation: Gaslighting, guilt-tripping, or making a partner feel unworthy or incapable.

• Community-based control (specific to LGBTQ+ relationships): Threatening to disclose someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity without their consent, or isolating them from LGBTQ+ social circles.

What’s being done to address these biases?

Progress is being made, but there’s still a long way to go. Here are some initiatives aimed at addressing these biases:

1. Educational Programs: Researchers like Julie-Ann Jordan and Susan Lagdon are developing the Healthy Young Adult Relationship (HYAR) program. This initiative aims to teach young people about healthy relationship dynamics and equip them with the tools to recognize coercive control.

2. Inclusive Campaigns: Some organizations are working to create more inclusive public awareness campaigns that highlight the experiences of male and LGBTQ+ victims. For example, the UK-based charity Galop focuses on supporting LGBTQ+ victims of domestic abuse and raising awareness about their unique challenges.

3. Policy Changes: In some countries, coercive control has been recognized as a criminal offense. For instance, the UK’s Serious Crime Act 2015 includes provisions for prosecuting coercive control. However, enforcement remains inconsistent, particularly for male and LGBTQ+ victims.

4. Research and Advocacy: Studies like the one by Jordan et al. (2026) are crucial for shedding light on these issues and advocating for systemic change. By highlighting the gaps in public perception, researchers can push for better training for law enforcement, healthcare providers, and support organizations.

How can I help someone who might be experiencing coercive control?

Supporting someone in this situation requires empathy, patience, and a nonjudgmental approach. Here are some steps you can take:

1. Listen Without Judgment: Let them share their experiences without interrupting or offering unsolicited advice. Sometimes, just being heard can make a huge difference.

2. Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their emotions and let them know that what they’re experiencing is not their fault.

3. Provide Resources: Share information about local domestic violence support organizations. If they’re hesitant to seek help, offer to accompany them or help them make the first call.

4. Respect Their Autonomy: It’s important to let them make their own decisions about how to handle the situation. Coercive control is about taking away someone’s agency—don’t inadvertently replicate that dynamic by pressuring them to act.

5. Educate Yourself: The more you understand about coercive control, the better equipped you’ll be to offer meaningful support.

Moving Forward: Education Is Key

The researchers are now working on the HYAR program, which aims to equip young adults with the tools to recognize and prevent coercive control.

The program will include an app to reinforce weekly lessons and cover a diverse range of relationships.

It’s a promising step toward a future where all victims are seen, heard, and supported.

In the end, the message is clear: Coercive control doesn’t discriminate, and neither should we. Let’s do better.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Stark, E. (2007). Coercive control: How men entrap women in personal life. Oxford University Press.

Donovan, C., & Hester, M. (2014). Domestic violence and sexuality: What's love got to do with it?Policy Press.

Hines, D. A., & Douglas, E. M. (2010). Intimate terrorism by women towards men: Does it exist? Journal of Aggression, Conflict and Peace Research, 2(3), 36-56.

Guadalupe-Diaz, X. L., & Anthony, A. K. (2017). Discrediting identity work: Understandings of intimate partner violence by transgender survivors. Sociology Compass, 11(3), e12455.