“When Bae Gets Angry”: The Uncomfortable Science of Female-Perpetrated Domestic Violence
Saturday, August 31, 2024.
Domestic violence is often depicted as a unidirectional issue, with men as perpetrators and women as victims.
However, social science research has consistently revealed a more complex picture: domestic violence is frequently bi-directional, involving both men and women as perpetrators and victims.
Understanding this dynamic is essential for marriage and family therapy, especially when addressing the root causes of conflict and violence in relationships.
The Reality of Female-Perpetrated Violence
Research indicates that women are not only victims but can also be perpetrators of domestic violence.
A study by Archer (2000) found that women were just as likely as men to initiate physical aggression in intimate relationships.
This finding is consistent with the Conflict Tactics Scale (CTS), a widely used tool for measuring domestic violence, which shows that women engage in physical aggression at similar or even higher rates than men in some cases.
However, the impact of violence often differs by gender. Men are more likely to cause severe physical harm due to greater average physical strength, while women’s aggression may involve different tactics, such as emotional manipulation or verbal abuse. But when physical violence does occur, it can be severe and, in some cases, deadly.
Do Little Women Contribute To Ultra-Violence?
One of the most challenging aspects of female-perpetrated violence is its potential to escalate. The stereotype of women as less violent often leads to the underestimation of the severity of their actions. This can have dire consequences.
Studies on intimate partner violence (IPV) have shown that when women engage in violence, it can sometimes provoke a retaliatory response from their male partners, leading to a dangerous cycle of escalation. This bi-directional violence can create an environment where both partners are at significant risk of harm.
A study by Straus (2011) highlights that in relationships where both partners are violent, the consequences are often more severe than in those where only one partner is violent. The escalation of violence in these situations can lead to a sort of "ultra-violence," where the cycle of aggression becomes increasingly destructive.
The Dynamics of Female Anger in Committed Relationships
So, what sets women off in committed relationships?
Understanding the triggers of female anger is crucial for addressing domestic violence.
Research by Tavris (1989) suggests that women’s anger is often linked to feelings of powerlessness or frustration, especially in relationships where their needs and concerns are not adequately addressed.
This can lead to what some researchers describe as "reactive violence," where women lash out as a means of asserting control or responding to perceived injustices.
Moreover, societal expectations around gender and emotion play a significant role in how women express anger.
Women are often socialized to suppress their anger, leading to a build-up of unresolved emotions that may eventually explode in violent behavior. Understanding these dynamics is key to helping couples navigate conflict without resorting to violence.
The Importance of Addressing Bi-Directional Violence in Therapy
Recognizing the bi-directional nature of domestic violence is essential, not only for those involved, but also for the culture at large.
It’s not about assigning blame to one gender but understanding the complex dynamics that lead to violence in relationships. This includes exploring both partners' roles in the conflict, their communication patterns, and the underlying emotional triggers that contribute to violent behavior.
Therapeutic interventions should focus on breaking the cycle of violence by addressing the root causes of anger and teaching healthy conflict resolution strategies. Couples need tools to express their emotions constructively, rather than resorting to aggression.
Final thoughts
Domestic violence is a complex and deeply troubling issue that affects both men and women.
Recognizing the bi-directional nature of this violence and the dynamics of female anger in relationships is crucial for effective therapy.
Therapists who specialize in working with these couples understand these factors. These clinicians are often embedded in the court system. It’s their challenge to help these couples work towards healthier, non-violent ways of resolving their conflicts and strengthening their relationships.
But the rest of us require a more nuanced understanding of domestic violence, one that acknowledges the complexity of human relationships and the shared responsibility in preventing violence. Especially in front of kids.
This approach not only empowers those affected but also paves the way for healthier, more resilient partnerships.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Archer, J. (2000). Sex differences in aggression between heterosexual partners: A meta-analytic review. Psychological Bulletin, 126(5), 651-680. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.126.5.651
Straus, M. A. (2011). Gender symmetry and mutuality in perpetration of clinical-level partner violence: Empirical evidence and implications for prevention and treatment. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 16(4), 279-288. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.avb.2011.04.010
Tavris, C. (1989). Anger: The misunderstood emotion. Touchstone.
Straus, M. A., & Gelles, R. J. (1990). Physical violence in American families: Risk factors and adaptations to violence in 8,145 families. Transaction Publishers.