Childhood Emotional Abuse May Harm Relationships by Undermining Our Sense of Belonging
Friday, July 31, 2026.
Most people understand that childhood emotional abuse can leave lasting scars.
Years of research have linked it to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and insecure attachment.
But a new longitudinal study published in Personality and Individual Differences suggests there may be another, often overlooked consequence: a diminished sense of belonging.
The researchers found that adults who reported greater psychological abuse during childhood also reported feeling less accepted, valued, and connected to others.
In turn, this lower sense of belonging predicted lower satisfaction in their romantic relationships over time.
The finding offers an important reminder.
Childhood emotional abuse may not affect relationships only because it changes how we attach to romantic partners. It may also shape how connected we feel to the larger social world.
Emotional abuse is often invisible—but deeply consequential
Unlike physical abuse, psychological abuse leaves no bruises or broken bones. Instead, it consists of repeated patterns of criticism, humiliation, rejection, emotional neglect, intimidation, or making a child feel unwanted.
Children depend on their caregivers not only for protection but also for a sense of who they are. When those caregivers consistently communicate—through words or actions—that a child is a disappointment, a burden, or unworthy of affection, those experiences can become part of the child's internal view of relationships.
Attachment theory suggests that our earliest relationships help shape expectations about future ones.
Children who experience consistent warmth and responsiveness often develop confidence that others can be trusted. Those who experience chronic rejection or emotional abuse may instead become more cautious, anxious, or uncertain in close relationships.
That idea has been supported by decades of research.
This study adds an important layer to that understanding.
The missing piece may be belonging.
The researchers were interested in a simple but powerful question.
Could childhood emotional abuse make it harder for people to feel that they genuinely belong?
Psychologists define belonging as the feeling of being accepted, valued, and connected to other people. It is more than having friends or being surrounded by others. It is the internal belief that you have a place where you are welcomed and where your presence matters.
That sense of belonging has been linked to better mental health, greater resilience, and healthier relationships. Conversely, people who feel isolated or chronically excluded are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and loneliness.
The researchers wondered whether belonging might explain part of the connection between childhood emotional abuse and later romantic dissatisfaction.
What the Researchers Found
The study followed 346 university students in Turkey across two assessments conducted three months apart.
Participants completed questionnaires measuring:
childhood psychological abuse.
sense of belonging.
romantic relationship satisfaction.
After accounting for participants' initial scores, the pattern remained remarkably consistent.
Those who reported more childhood psychological abuse experienced lower feelings of belonging over time. Lower belonging, in turn, predicted lower satisfaction in their romantic relationships.
Statistically, belonging served as a mediating factor—a pathway through which childhood emotional abuse was associated with later relationship satisfaction.
That distinction matters.
The study does not suggest that emotional abuse inevitably leads to unhappy relationships. Rather, it suggests that one reason these relationships may become more difficult is because early emotional experiences can undermine a person's broader sense of social connection.
Why belonging matters in romantic relationships
Romantic relationships rarely exist in isolation.
People who generally feel accepted by others often enter intimate relationships with greater confidence that conflicts can be repaired, support will be available, and closeness is safe.
People who have learned to expect rejection may find those assumptions more difficult to maintain.
This does not mean they are incapable of healthy relationships. Nor does it mean that every conflict reflects childhood trauma.
Instead, the findings suggest that the way people experience the larger social world may also influence the quality of their closest relationships.
Feeling connected to friends, family, colleagues, or a community may help create a stronger emotional foundation for intimacy.
Implications for Therapy
One of the most encouraging aspects of this study is its practical implication.
Therapists often help clients improve communication, manage conflict, and understand attachment patterns. These remain important goals.
This research suggests another area deserves attention as well: helping clients strengthen their sense of belonging.
That might include developing healthier friendships, reconnecting with supportive family members, joining community organizations, participating in group therapy, volunteering, or finding environments where acceptance and mutual support are consistently experienced.
No single relationship can meet every emotional need. A broader network of meaningful connections may reduce the pressure placed on romantic relationships while helping individuals develop a more stable sense of themselves.
Although this study cannot prove that increasing belonging will improve relationship satisfaction, it identifies a promising direction for future therapeutic work.
Important Limitations
Like all research, this study has limitations.
Participants were university students from a single university in Turkey, so the findings may not generalize to every culture or age group.
The study relied on self-report questionnaires, which can be influenced by memory and personal interpretation. In addition, the follow-up period lasted only three months, limiting conclusions about long-term developmental change.
Future research will need to examine whether similar patterns appear in more diverse populations and whether other factors—such as self-esteem, trust, or emotion regulation—also help explain the relationship between childhood emotional abuse and adult relationship satisfaction.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is childhood emotional abuse?
Childhood emotional abuse, also called psychological abuse, involves repeated behaviors such as humiliation, harsh criticism, rejection, intimidation, emotional neglect, or making a child feel unwanted. Although it leaves no physical injuries, it can have lasting effects on emotional development and relationships.
What is a sense of belonging?
Belonging refers to the feeling that you are accepted, valued, and connected to other people. It reflects an internal belief that you have meaningful relationships and a place within your social world.
How did belonging affect romantic relationships in this study?
Participants who reported greater childhood emotional abuse tended to report lower feelings of belonging. Lower belonging was then associated with lower romantic relationship satisfaction over time, suggesting belonging may help explain part of this relationship.
Does childhood emotional abuse doom someone to unhappy relationships?
No. The study identified a statistical association, not a certainty. Many people who experience childhood emotional abuse develop healthy, satisfying relationships, especially with supportive relationships, therapy, and opportunities to build stronger social connections.
What does this mean for couples therapy?
The findings suggest that therapy may benefit from addressing not only communication and attachment patterns but also a person's broader sense of social connection and belonging. Building supportive relationships outside the couple may strengthen the relationship itself.
The Takeaway
Childhood emotional abuse does more than influence how people relate to their parents. Its effects can extend into adulthood, shaping how connected people feel to others and how satisfying their romantic relationships become.
This study suggests that belonging may be one of the missing links.
Feeling accepted, valued, and connected is not simply a pleasant social experience. It may be an important psychological resource that helps people build healthier, more satisfying intimate relationships.
For clinicians, couples, and individuals recovering from difficult childhoods, that is a hopeful message.
Healing may involve not only repairing old attachment wounds but also creating new experiences of acceptance and connection that gradually strengthen a person's sense of belonging.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
İme, Y. (2026). How early psychological abuse predicts decreased relationship satisfaction via belongingness in adulthood: A longitudinal study. Personality and Individual Differences. Advance online publication