"Divorce Him": The Internet’s Favorite Relationship Cure-All—But Is It Good Advice?
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2024. This is for M & Y in Miami.
It’s 10 PM. You’re curled up on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through social media when you stumble upon a dramatic post in your favorite relationship forum:
"My husband hasn’t planned a date night in six months, and I’m the only one doing laundry. Am I being unreasonable?"
Cue the comments:
“Divorce him.”
“Girl, you deserve better!”
“🚩🚩🚩 Leave now!”
Within seconds, the post devolves into a digital stampede of “divorce him” comments, each one trying to outdo the last in dramatic flair.
Forget couples therapy, compromise, or even a mild chat—when it comes to the internet, the solution to every marital spat is swift and final: end it all, Queen.
But is this viral mantra helping anyone? Or are we trading wisdom for wit in a world where nuance is a lost art?
Let’s dive into the rise of “divorce him” culture, why it’s problematic, and how we can bring some sanity (and humor) back into relationship advice.
The Allure of "Divorce Him" Culture
Why does “divorce him” dominate the relationship advice scene?
Simple: it’s short, snappy, and packs a punch. In the fast-paced world of social media, where attention spans are as short as TikTok clips, nobody has time for a nuanced response.
Throwing “divorce him” into the mix feels cathartic—like a mic drop moment.
It’s bold. It’s empowering. It’s also incredibly reductive. It flattens every marital issue, from leaving wet towels on the floor to emotional neglect, into one-size-fits-all advice.
And let’s face it: you know damn well that at least half the people yelling “divorce him” have Reactive Formation because they probably stayed in many relationships longer than they should have themselves. But hey, hypocrisy is more fun when it comes with emojis.
When "Divorce Him" Works—and When It Doesn’t
Let’s be clear: there are absolutely situations where “divorce him” is sound advice.
No one should stay in a marriage where there’s abuse, infidelity, or irreparable harm. In those cases, the internet’s rallying cry for liberation is well-warranted.
But what about the other 95% of posts? You know, the ones that look more like:
“He forgot our anniversary.”
“He won’t watch Bridgerton with me.”
“He doesn’t know the difference between mauve and lavender.”
These are the kinds of issues that don’t require a lawyer. They require communication. Or maybe a paint swatch.
By defaulting to “divorce him,” we bypass critical conversations about compromise, growth, and—gasp—imperfection. Relationships are messy, and sometimes, the best solution isn’t to leave but to lean in and figure things out.
Why the Internet Loves Quick Fixes
The internet thrives on extremism.
Black-and-white solutions—whether it’s “dump him” or “buy the shoes”—get clicks, shares, and dopamine hits. Who has time to dissect the complexities of a marriage when you can hit the like button on a sassy comment?
But here’s the problem: Cultural Narcissism. Real life isn’t built on viral soundbites. It’s built on the messy middle ground where you’re annoyed at your partner for leaving their socks everywhere but still love the way they make your coffee just right.
When we only encourage quick exits, we devalue the hard, unsexy work of maintaining a relationship—work like active listening, setting boundaries, and compromising on which Netflix show to binge next.
A Modest Proposal
Instead of yelling “divorce him” every time a husband screws up, what if we tried something a little more nuanced—and funny?
“Talk to him.” Radical, right? Start by explaining why his behavior bothers you. Use props if necessary. Bonus points if you role-play as an HR manager during your "meeting."
“Couples therapy.” Frame it as an adventure. Maybe even bribe him with snacks. Who doesn’t want to unpack their childhood trauma over free mints? I can help with that.
“Lower the stakes.” Not every fight is a relationship apocalypse. He forgot to unload the dishwasher? Big deal. Let it slide and focus on the fact that he didn’t leave the toilet seat up. This time.
And if all else fails…
“Hire a cat.” Cats don’t care about dishes or anniversaries. They’ll also knock his beer over just to make a point.
Marriage is hard work, and sometimes your partner will drive you crazy.
They’ll forget your birthday, misplace their keys, or (heaven forbid) call your homemade lasagna “pretty good.”
But those moments don’t always mean it’s time to call a divorce lawyer.
The next time you see “divorce him” in a comment section, take a deep breath—and maybe suggest something more constructive. Because behind every dramatic post is a real person with a real marriage, and they deserve better than quick fixes and hashtags.
And who knows? Maybe one day we’ll see “talk it out, Queen” trending instead. Wouldn’t that be a wild ride?
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.