Weird Things Couples Do: More Reasons Love Is Delightfully Strange (Part 2)
Saturday, November 16, 2024.
If love is a circus, then weird couple habits are the main act.
As your friendly neighborhood couples therapist, I’ve cataloged a second set of quirks—proof that love is as much about absurdity as it is about intimacy.
And yes, science backs these up, so let’s celebrate the delightful oddities.
Weather Arguments
Anna claims it’s “freezing,” while James insists it’s “tropical.” Debating the thermostat may feel trivial, but it’s actually a proxy for balancing individual comfort needs in a shared space (Gottman & Silver, 1999).
Bathroom Door Diplomacy
Some couples keep the door open during “private” moments; others enforce strict boundaries. This quirk reflects differing intimacy thresholds, with openness often tied to relational closeness (Reis & Shaver, 1988).
Remote Control Feuds
Carla and Sam negotiate “control” of the TV remote like diplomats in a Cold War. Research shows decision-making conflicts like these are common in happy couples, as long as respect remains intact (Holman & Jarvis, 2003).
Synchronized Snacking
Mia and Tom won’t eat chips unless the other is munching too. Shared eating rituals create a sense of partnership and even trigger oxytocin release (Kniffin et al., 2015).
Couples Tetris
Emily and Ben pack their car trunk together like it’s an Olympic sport. Collaborative problem-solving, even over mundane tasks, strengthens emotional bonds (Aron et al., 2000).
Mock Jealousy Games
“Who do you love more, me or coffee?” Amy asks Jake. These faux-jealousy moments reinforce commitment while keeping things playful (Barelds & Barelds-Dijkstra, 2010).
Shoe Debates
Lauren insists Chris’s sneakers are hideous; Chris counters by critiquing her Uggs. Studies on humor suggest light teasing, even about fashion, can strengthen bonds (Gottman & Silver, 1999).
The “Who Cares Less?” Text Game
They argue over who waited longer to reply. While petty on the surface, this reflects a deeper need to balance power dynamics in communication (Leung et al., 2018).
Seasonal Decoration Rivalry
Maya wants Halloween pumpkins in August; Ben holds out until October. Engaging in rituals tied to traditions fosters relational stability (Fiese et al., 2002).
Bedtime Story Swaps
James reads fantasy novels to Anna, who counters with true-crime podcasts. Shared media consumption boosts emotional connection by creating mutual interests (Brown & Logan, 2014).
Pet Custody Conflicts
Each claims the cat loves them more. The attachment couples form to shared pets often mirrors relational dynamics, promoting joint caretaking (Kurdek, 2009).
Parking Lot Bickering
“Park closer,” Sarah insists. “Parallel parking’s safer,” Ben retorts. These debates are proxies for relational influence, with couples learning compromise through repetition (Holman & Jarvis, 2003).
Fake Accents
Emily suddenly speaks in a bad British accent, and Ben responds with his pirate voice. Playful roleplay encourages spontaneity and creative bonding (Aron et al., 2000).
Obsessive Playlist Sharing
Lauren curates “mood playlists” for every drive; Chris critiques her picks. Sharing music builds shared emotional experiences, enhancing intimacy (Rentfrow & Gosling, 2006).
Appliance Personification
Anna calls the vacuum “Jerry” and the dishwasher “Doris.” Anthropomorphizing household items may seem quirky, but it reflects shared humor and fosters connection (Swart & Morgan, 2018).
Calendar Dictatorships
One partner insists on scheduling every outing, while the other rebels by “forgetting.” Time management conflicts are common but often lead to creative compromises (Holman & Jarvis, 2003).
Silent Competitive Eating
“Let’s see who can eat this sandwich faster.” Couples who gamify daily activities report higher satisfaction and relational playfulness (Barelds & Barelds-Dijkstra, 2010).
The Silent Standoff
Who’s going to refill the Brita filter? Research shows minor acts of defiance can emerge as a way to balance perceived fairness in relationships (Deutsch, 2011).
Blanket Wrestling
Midnight battles over the comforter? Normal. This reflects individual needs for comfort and security, often tied to attachment styles (Bowlby, 1988).
Shared Grudge Lists
They both hate that one neighbor with the loud dog. Aligning on external “enemies” creates a feeling of partnership and shared identity (Slotter et al., 2012).
The Memory Wars
Jake insists he told Amy about the party; she swears he didn’t. Memory discrepancies are common, and resolving them teaches couples conflict resolution (Gottman & Silver, 1999).
Pet Photo Overload
“Look, Sparky’s on the couch again!” Shared focus on pets enhances bonding through joint caretaking and mutual pride (Kurdek, 2009).
Love’s Beautifully Bizarre Dance
If there’s one takeaway from these 22 oddities, it’s this: love thrives in the little things. These quirks, rituals, and micro-conflicts are the glue of intimacy. So next time you argue over the thermostat or pretend to be pirates, remember—you’re not just being weird. You’re being wonderfully human.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Aron, A., Norman, C., Aron, E. N., McKenna, C., & Heyman, R. E. (2000). Couples’ shared activities and relationship quality. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 17(5), 721-743. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407500175002
Barelds, D. P. H., & Barelds-Dijkstra, P. (2010). Humor in romantic relationships: A meta-analysis. Personal Relationships, 17(4), 543-556. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2010.01309.x
Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base: Parent-child attachment and healthy human development. Basic Books.
Brown, R., & Logan, S. (2014). The role of shared media consumption in romantic relationships. Media Psychology, 17(3), 223-242. https://doi.org/10.1080/15213269.2014.907222
Fiese, B. H., Tomcho, T. J., Douglas, M., Josephs, K., Poltrock, S., & Baker, T. (2002). A review of family routines and rituals in the context of family relationships. Journal of Family Psychology, 16(4), 381-390. https://doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.16.4.381
Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. Crown Publishers.
Holman, T. B., & Jarvis, M. O. (2003). Predicting marital satisfaction: The role of emotional intelligence and conflict resolution. Marriage & Family Review, 35(1-2), 15-30. https://doi.org/10.1300/J002v35n01_02
Kniffin, K. M., Wansink, B., Devine, C. M., & Sobal, J. (2015). Eating together at the firehouse: How workplace commensality relates to the performance of firefighters. Human Performance, 28(4), 281-292. https://doi.org/10.1080/08959285.2015.1021049
Kurdek, L. A. (2009). Pet attachment and relationship dynamics. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 26(2-3), 209-227. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407509106710
Rentfrow, P. J., & Gosling, S. D. (2006). The content and validity of music-genre stereotypes among college students. Psychology of Music, 34(2), 306-326. https://doi.org/10.1177/0305735606061855
Reis, H. T., & Shaver, P. (1988). Intimacy as an interpersonal process. Handbook of personal relationships: Theory, research, and interventions, 367-389.
Slotter, E. B., Gardner, W. L., & Finkel, E. J. (2012). Who am I without you? The influence of romantic breakup on the self-concept. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 36(12), 1479-1491. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167210388191