Weird Things Couples Do

Friday, November 15, 2024.

As a couples therapist, I’ve witnessed the bizarre mating rituals of humanity up close and personal. If aliens ever wanted to study our species, I’d tell them to skip Area 51 and come to my office instead.

Because here’s the thing: love is weird. Delightfully, hilariously, heartwarmingly weird.

Every couple has quirks—some adorable, some… well, let’s just call them “special.”

But what’s fascinating is how these quirks are not random acts of oddity; they’re rooted in psychology, biology, and the strange beauty of love. Let me introduce you to some couples whose eccentricities are as endearing as they are research-backed.

The Grocery Store Mind Readers

Anna and James have a game. Every time they go grocery shopping, James tries to guess what Anna is thinking about while they’re in the produce aisle. “Pineapple,” he’ll say confidently, while Anna is silently fuming about the rising cost of avocados. They’ve never gotten it right, but they insist it’s fun.

Turns out, this shared telepathy experiment isn’t just cute—it’s bonding. Research by Weger and Emmett (2009) found that couples who engage in playful, cooperative activities build stronger emotional connections. Grocery stores may not be romantic, but teamwork, even in silliness, forges intimacy.

The Netflix Cheaters

Meet Carla and Sam, who have a secret pact to never watch their favorite shows without each other. Naturally, both have broken this sacred bond repeatedly, sneaking episodes while the other sleeps. “It’s not cheating if it’s a documentary,” Carla justifies, while Sam silently resents her knowledge of penguin mating rituals.

This quirk taps into our primal fear of exclusion. Studies on FOMO (fear of missing out) by Przybylski et al. (2013) reveal that shared experiences—yes, even binge-watching—are crucial for modern relationships. Breaking the pact? It’s like emotional infidelity with subtitles.

The Pillow Barrier Engineers

Then there’s Mia and Tom, who have devised an elaborate pillow fortress dividing their bed into neutral zones. “It keeps the peace,” Tom explains, as Mia fluffs a barricade to protect her side from his midnight sprawl.

Research supports this strange territorial behavior. Leung et al. (2018) found that sleep quality directly impacts relationship satisfaction. If pillow diplomacy lets them rest easy, then who are we to judge? It’s architecture in the service of love.

The Competitive Sleep-Talkers

Speaking of beds, Sarah and Ben have turned Sarah’s sleep-talking habit into a game. Ben records her midnight ramblings, and they try to decode them over coffee. Last week, she apparently “declared war on potatoes.”

As absurd as this sounds, it highlights the importance of shared humor. Research by Barelds and Barelds-Dijkstra (2010) shows that couples who laugh together, especially at inside jokes, report greater satisfaction and resilience. So, if Sarah and Ben are giggling about nocturnal potato diplomacy, they’re actually investing in their relationship.

The Matchy-Matchy Fashionistas

Finally, we have Lauren and Chris, who insist on wearing coordinated outfits to every social gathering. Hawaiian shirts for barbecues, plaid for the pumpkin patch. “It’s not weird,” Lauren insists. “It’s branding.”

Coordinated dressing might seem over-the-top, but it’s a form of symbolic coupling.

Research by Slotter et al. (2012) found that couples who engage in behaviors that reinforce their shared identity feel more united. Sure, it’s cringe-worthy to onlookers, but Lauren and Chris are living their truth—and their brand.

Why Weird Works

These quirks, while laughable, are anything but trivial. They’re love’s secret handshakes, the strange rituals that make two people feel like an impenetrable team.

To those reading this and thinking, Wait, my partner and I do something even weirder, congratulations. You’re not just surviving the weirdness of love—you’re thriving in it. And for that, I salute you.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Barelds, D. P. H., & Barelds-Dijkstra, P. (2010). Humor in romantic relationships: A meta-analysis. Personal Relationships, 17(4), 543-556. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2010.01309.x

Leung, L., Wu, A. M. S., Chen, C., & Young, D. K. (2018). The effects of sleep quality on romantic relationships. Journal of Sleep Research, 27(3), e12680. https://doi.org/10.1111/jsr.12680

Przybylski, A. K., Murayama, K., DeHaan, C. R., & Gladwell, V. (2013). Motivational, emotional, and behavioral correlates of fear of missing out. Computers in Human Behavior, 29(4), 1841-1848. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2013.02.014

Slotter, E. B., Gardner, W. L., & Finkel, E. J. (2012). Who am I without you? The influence of romantic breakup on the self-concept. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 36(12), 1479-1491. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167210388191

Weger, H., & Emmett, M. C. (2009). Relational maintenance behaviors and intimacy. Communication Quarterly, 57(1), 36-50. https://doi.org/10.1080/01463370802662496