Weird Things Couples Do: More Delightful Oddities (Part 3)

Saturday, November 16, 2024.

Love, it turns out, is a never-ending parade of peculiarities.

As a couples therapist, I’ve seen it all—from synchronized sneezing contests to debates over imaginary scenarios. Here are 22 more examples of how couples let their quirky flags fly.

Debate Over Grocery Bag Carrying

“Why are you carrying two bags when I can carry eight?” argues James. Anna counters, “I’m saving my hands for the car keys.” This mundane competition is actually a show of teamwork and efficiency, both of which are linked to relationship satisfaction (Weger & Emmett, 2009).

Morning Routine Races

Mia insists she can brush her teeth faster than Tom can shave. Little competitions like this may seem silly, but they tap into shared playfulness, which boosts relational satisfaction (Aron et al., 2000).

Fake Apology Olympics

Emily sighs, “I’m sorry for being so perfect all the time.” Ben retorts, “I’m sorry for putting up with it.” Research shows humor in apologies helps diffuse tension and improve conflict outcomes (Gottman & Silver, 1999).

Co-Dream Storytelling

Amy wakes up claiming she dreamt Jake was a pirate. Jake responds, “You dreamt wrong. I was the captain.” Shared dreams (real or made-up) foster a sense of intimacy and emotional bonding (Cartwright & Lamberg, 1992).

“No, I Love You More” Wars

Carla and Sam endlessly debate who loves the other more. While exasperating for outsiders, this verbal ping-pong reflects a desire to outdo each other in affection, which strengthens their emotional connection (Reis & Shaver, 1988).

The Food Stealing Dance

Tom hovers over Mia’s fries. “You weren’t going to eat those, right?” Sharing (or stealing) food triggers oxytocin release and fosters attachment (Kniffin et al., 2015).

Secret Gift Giving

Anna leaves sticky notes with affirmations on James’s coffee mug, while James sneaks chocolates into Anna’s purse. Small surprises enhance relational satisfaction and rekindle romantic feelings (Gable et al., 2006).

The Pet Obsession Contest

Emily claims the dog only loves her. Ben insists the cat is his soulmate. Pets often act as emotional surrogates, strengthening relational bonds through shared caretaking (Kurdek, 2009).

Inventing New Holidays

“Happy Pancake Day,” shouts Ben, delivering breakfast in bed. Invented traditions give couples a sense of uniqueness and reinforce their bond (Fiese et al., 2002).

The “Bathroom DJ” Ritual

Lauren insists Chris plays her favorite playlist whenever she showers. Creating personalized rituals like this enhances intimacy and mutual care (Fiese et al., 2002).

Fake Arguments Over Celebrities

“He’s too old for you,” says Jake when Amy swoons over George Clooney. Playful debates about unattainable crushes foster humor and relational security (Barelds & Barelds-Dijkstra, 2010).

Weatherperson Impersonations

Tom likes to dramatically announce the weather, complete with pretend hurricane warnings. Playful roleplay increases dopamine and strengthens bonds (Swart & Morgan, 2018).

Sharing a Toothbrush?

Yes, some couples share a toothbrush in emergencies. While gross to outsiders, this act is a bizarre display of trust and comfort with one another’s boundaries (Leung et al., 2018).

“Who Takes the Cute Photo?” Fights

Anna always takes the couple selfies, but James argues he’s better at finding the perfect angle. Sharing creative tasks reinforces cooperative problem-solving (Aron et al., 2000).

The “Spooky Noise Investigator” Game

Mia always sends Tom to check weird noises at night. Taking on protective roles (even if it’s pretend) fosters feelings of security and partnership (Bowlby, 1988).

Competitive Playlist Creation

Anna insists her playlist for road trips is better, while James critiques her choices mercilessly. Shared music experiences foster emotional closeness and create memories (Rentfrow & Gosling, 2006).

Ridiculous Game Night Rules

Jake declares that in Monopoly, “You can’t buy Boardwalk unless you’ve been to a real boardwalk.” Creating personalized rules strengthens shared meaning and teamwork (Holman & Jarvis, 2003).

Fake Psychic Predictions

Carla swears she can predict when Sam will sneeze. Playful predictions enhance relational humor and attunement (Barelds & Barelds-Dijkstra, 2010).

The “We’ve Become Our Parents” Debate

Mia catches Tom saying a dad joke and exclaims, “You’re turning into your father!” Identifying (and mocking) generational similarities builds shared identity (Gottman & Silver, 1999).

The Anniversary Countdown

Lauren insists they celebrate their “monthiversary.” While Chris rolls his eyes, research shows celebrating small milestones builds relational satisfaction (Gable et al., 2006).

The Fridge Standoff

Both refuse to throw out the expired yogurt “because it wasn’t mine.” Even minor standoffs can provide harmless ways to negotiate fairness (Deutsch, 2011).

Love Can Be Beautifully Bizarre

These odd habits aren’t just quirks; they’re often the heartbeat of connection.

By indulging in these eccentricities, couples reinforce what makes their relationship unique. So the next time you argue over celebrity crushes or invent your own holiday, remember—you’re adding a new thread to the rich tapestry of love.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Aron, A., Norman, C., Aron, E. N., McKenna, C., & Heyman, R. E. (2000). Couples’ shared activities and relationship quality. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 17(5), 721-743. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407500175002

Barelds, D. P. H., & Barelds-Dijkstra, P. (2010). Humor in romantic relationships: A meta-analysis. Personal Relationships, 17(4), 543-556. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2010.01309.x

Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base: Parent-child attachment and healthy human development. Basic Books.

Cartwright, R. D., & Lamberg, L. (1992). Crisis dreaming: Using your dreams to solve your problems. HarperCollins.

Deutsch, M. (2011). Justice and conflict resolution in relationships. Social Justice Research, 24(1), 11-19. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11211-011-0121-5

Fiese, B. H., Tomcho, T. J., Douglas, M., Josephs, K., Poltrock, S., & Baker, T. (2002). A review of family routines and rituals in the context of family relationships. Journal of Family Psychology, 16(4), 381-390. https://doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.16.4.381

Gable, S. L., Gonzaga, G. C., & Strachman, A. (2006). Will you be there for me when things go right? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91(5), 904-917. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.91.5.904

Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. Crown Publishers.

Kniffin, K. M., Wansink, B., Devine, C. M., & Sobal, J. (2015). Eating together at the firehouse: How workplace commensality relates to the performance of firefighters. Human Performance, 28(4), 281-292. https://doi.org/10.1080/08959285.2015.1021049

Kurdek, L. A. (2009). Pet attachment and relationship dynamics. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 26(2-3), 209-227. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407509106710

Leung, L., Wu, A. M. S., Chen, C., & Young, D. K. (2018). The effects of sleep quality on romantic relationships. Journal of Sleep Research, 27(3), e12680. https://doi.org/10.1111/jsr.12680

Rentfrow, P. J., & Gosling, S. D. (2006). The content and validity of music-genre stereotypes among college students. Psychology of Music, 34(2), 306-326. https://doi.org/10.1177/0305735606061855

Reis, H. T., & Shaver, P. (1988). Intimacy as an interpersonal process. Handbook of personal relationships: Theory, research, and interventions, 367-389.