What is Flying Monkeys Narcissism?

Thursday, June 20, 2024.

Flying monkeys are a concept deeply embedded in the dynamics of narcissistic abuse, as elucidated by thought leaders in the field.

These folks, unwittingly or willingly, become the enforcers of the narcissist's agenda, perpetuating the cycle of abuse.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a renowned clinical psychologist and expert in narcissism, describes flying monkeys as "the foot soldiers of the narcissist's army," highlighting their role in carrying out the narcissist's manipulative tactics.

In the context of family systems, Dr. Karyl McBride, a leading authority on narcissistic abuse recovery, explains that flying monkeys are often other family members who have been manipulated into believing the narcissist's false narrative.

These folks may include siblings, parents, or even adult children of the narcissist, who, under the narcissist's influence, participate in gaslighting and invalidating the true victim's experiences.

The term "flying monkeys" derives from "The Wizard of Oz," where the Wicked Witch of the West uses her army of flying monkeys to do malicious deeds. This analogy underscores the idea that flying monkeys act as narcissist's agents, doing their bidding and causing harm to others.

Moreover, Dr. Judith Orloff, a psychiatrist specializing in empathic abilities, warns that flying monkeys can cause further trauma to the victim by invalidating their experiences and reinforcing the narcissist's gaslighting. This dynamic can be especially damaging as it creates a sense of isolation and betrayal for the victim, who may feel abandoned by those they once trusted.

Understanding the role of flying monkeys in narcissistic abuse is crucial for both victims and their supporters. By recognizing the signs of manipulation and enmeshment, individuals can break free from the narcissist's control and begin the journey to healing and recovery.

In narcissistic abuse, the concept of flying monkeys extends beyond mere enablers and encompasses a complex interplay of psychological dynamics. These folks, often unknowingly coerced or deceived by the narcissist, serve as extensions of the narcissist's ego, fulfilling their need for control, validation, and power.

The Monkeys are vulnerable too

Dr. Christine Louis de Canonville, a psychotherapist specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery, emphasizes that flying monkeys are often drawn into the narcissist's orbit due to their own vulnerabilities, such as low self-esteem or a desire for approval.

This makes them susceptible to manipulation and coercion by the narcissist, who exploits these weaknesses to recruit them into their toxic agenda.

Moreover, Dr. Martha Stout, a psychologist and author of "The Sociopath Next Door," notes that flying monkeys may also exhibit traits of narcissism themselves, albeit to a lesser degree. These individuals may be drawn to the narcissist's charisma and charm, unaware of the underlying manipulative tactics at play.

The role of flying monkeys is not limited to direct actions against the victim; they also serve to uphold the narcissist's facade of normalcy and deflect attention away from their abusive behavior.

Dr. Joseph Burgo, a clinical psychologist and author, explains that flying monkeys often engage in gaslighting and blame-shifting, further disorienting the victim and reinforcing the narcissist's control.

For victims of narcissistic abuse, the presence of flying monkeys can exacerbate feelings of helplessness and isolation.

Dr. Les Carter, a psychologist specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery, advises victims to maintain boundaries and seek support from trusted individuals who can validate their experiences and provide a sense of reality amidst the gaslighting.

Final thoughts

In essence, understanding the role of flying monkeys in narcissistic abuse is crucial for breaking free from the cycle of manipulation and reclaiming one's sense of self. By recognizing the manipulative tactics at play and surrounding themselves with supportive friends, victims can begin the journey to healing and recovery from narcissistic abuse.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

RESEARCH:

Simon, G. K. (2018). In sheep's clothing: Understanding and dealing with manipulative people. Parkhurst Brothers Publishers Inc.

Arabi, S. (2017). Becoming the narcissist's nightmare: How to devalue and discard the narcissist while supplying yourself. Self-published.

Stines, S. (2017). The covert passive-aggressive narcissist: Recognizing the traits and finding healing after hidden emotional and psychological abuse. Simon and Schuster.

Zweben, J. E. (2013). When hope is not enough: A how-to guide for living with and loving someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. Hazelden Publishing.

Salter, A. (2017). The dangerous case of Donald Trump: 27 psychiatrists and mental health experts assess a president. St. Martin's Press.