Why Some Women Squirt (And Why It’s Not a Performance Review)
Thursday, January 29, 2026.
There are few bedroom moments more capable of turning two grown adults into confused interns than squirting.
One person thinks, “Did I break something?”
The other thinks, “Was that… pee?”
And suddenly intimacy becomes an emergency staff meeting.
Let’s rescue this from the internet.
Squirting is a real, documented phenomenon in some women.
It is also wildly misunderstood, routinely pornified, and commonly used as a silent “grade” on sexual performance—usually by people who should not be trusted with clipboards.
This post is the clean, calm explanation: what squirting is, what it isn’t, why it happens for some bodies and not others, and how couples can talk about it without turning sex into a competency exam.
First, a definition (because the internet probably won’t give you one)
“Squirting” typically refers to the expulsion of a noticeable amount of fluid through the urethra during sexual arousal and/or orgasm.
It often gets tangled up with female ejaculation, which is usually described as a much smaller amount of milky/whitish fluid associated with paraurethral (Skene’s) glands—sometimes called the “female prostate” in the research literature.
A detailed anatomy-and-history review in Clinical Anatomy lays out this distinction and why the terminology gets messy fast.
So: two related phenomena, commonly blended into one confusing word salad.
Where the fluid comes from (what we actually know)
Here’s the part people want whispered, so I’ll say it at normal volume.
In many cases, squirting fluid is largely urine—often diluted, sometimes mixed
A well-known ultrasound and biochemical study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine had participants start with an empty bladder, then tracked what happened during arousal and immediately after squirting.
The bladder filled during arousaland then emptied after the squirting event, and the fluid showed urine markers (urea, creatinine, uric acid).
The same study also found that prostate-specific antigen (PSA)—a marker associated with Skene’s gland secretions—was present in the squirting sample for many participants, suggesting a small admixture from paraurethral glands can occur.
Female ejaculation (the smaller-volume phenomenon) is more associated with Skene’s glands
Skene’s glands sit near the urethra, swell with sexual arousal, and can secrete fluid; Cleveland Clinic’s overview summarizes this function and the current clinical understanding.
If you only remember one sentence, make it this: squirting is usually bladder-involved; female ejaculation is more gland-involved; and they can overlap.
A narrative review focused on differentiating “female sexual fluids” walks through the diagnostic problem clinicians run into when everything gets labeled as one thing.
Why it happens for some women and not others
This is where couples go wrong: they assume squirting is a “skill issue.”
It is more accurately a body-variation + nervous-system + mechanics issue.
Anatomy varies—more than people think
Gland size, urethral sensitivity, pelvic floor tone, and the whole clitoro-urethrovaginal region vary across individuals. There is no universal “button” that produces a universal outcome. (Which is both disappointing and, frankly, a relief.)
Certain kinds of stimulation make it more likely for some bodies
Many women report squirting with sustained stimulation of the anterior vaginal wall (often colloquially called “G-spot” stimulation), especially when arousal builds steadily. That does not mean it’s required, or that this is the “right” kind of sex. It means bodies respond differently to pressure, rhythm, and angle.
Pelvic floor patterns matter: clamp vs. release
Some people’s pelvic floors respond to intensity by tightening. Others respond by releasing. Squirting tends to be more compatible with a “release” pattern during high arousal.
And here comes the clinically important part:
Nervous-system state matters more than technique
Shame, vigilance, pressure to perform, or fear of “making a mess” reliably make bodies clamp down. Arousal needs permission—especially the kind that involves involuntary reflexes.
The International Society for Sexual Medicine’s plain-language explanation is refreshingly calm on this: squirting can occur with arousal (not only orgasm), it varies widely, and it isn’t a requirement for pleasurable sex.
Bladder fullness can change the odds and the volume
If the bladder is truly empty, the volume of squirting fluid may be limited. If there’s more fluid present—or if the bladder fills during arousal—the volume can be greater. That’s not a moral fact. It’s plumbing.
The Three Fears Underneath Almost Every Squirting Conversation
“Is it pee?”
Often, it is mostly urine markers.
That does not automatically make it “peeing” in the way people mean it.
Sexual arousal changes physiology. Reflexes are reflexes. The question is not “what is the fluid made of,” but “can the couple stay kind about what bodies do under intense arousal.”
“Does it mean she orgasmed?”
No. Squirting can happen with or without orgasm, and orgasm can happen with or without squirting.
“If it doesn’t happen, are we missing something?”
No. Not really.
When squirting becomes a goal, it tends to destroy the conditions that make it possible: relaxation, safety, play, curiosity, and unmonitored pleasure.
Porn didn’t invent squirting, but it did weaponize it
Porn culture often treats squirting like a visible receipt: proof of pleasure, proof of skill, proof of “impact.”
That turns a private physiological variation into a performance metric. And performance metrics are famously erotic—said no one, ever.
If you want a more psychologically accurate framing: squirting is not a trophy.
It’s a possible side effect of intense arousal that some bodies do, sometimes, under certain conditions.
How couples accidentally make this worse
The “Are you okay?” interrogation
Sometimes appropriate. Often delivered like someone just heard a smoke alarm.
The silent recoil
Nothing teaches a nervous system “never do that again” faster than disgust.
The goal-oriented partner
The partner who turns sex into a mission: “We’re gonna make it happen.”
Congratulations. You just introduced pressure into the one situation that requires the opposite.
The self-monitoring spiral
The person who thinks, “Am I about to squirt?” and then clamps down to prevent it, because their brain is now running a courtroom drama.
If you want to explore squirting, Do it like an adult
Not like a stunt.
Make the idea of a “mess” emotionally safe first.
Put down a towel. Remove the logistical anxiety. Treat it as normal bodily behavior, not a crisis.
Consent Matters More Here Than in Most Sex Advice
Some people love the sensation.
Some feel embarrassed.
Some hate the wetness.
A 2024 study on women’s experiences of squirting/ejaculation found many had wanted to avoid it at some point, often due to worries about wetness and what the fluid “means,” and partner reactions were a major factor.
Slow arousal beats “harder, faster, now”
For many bodies, this requires gradual build and steady rhythm rather than frantic escalation.
Do not use squirting as proof of anything
Not proof of orgasm. Not proof of desirability. Not proof you “did it right.”
It is a bodily event, not a relationship report card.
When to check with a clinician.
Squirting itself is not a medical emergency.
But if there is pain, burning, blood, fever, pelvic pain, or new urinary symptoms, treat that as a healthcare question, not a bedroom mystery—especially because the urethral/paraurethral region can be involved. Cleveland Clinic lists red-flag urinary and pelvic symptoms worth evaluation.
FAQ
Is squirting the same as female ejaculation?
Not necessarily. Many clinicians and researchers distinguish large-volume clear fluid (“squirting”) from small-volume milky fluid (“female ejaculation”).
Is squirting “just peeing”?
In many cases, the fluid contains urine markers and bladder involvement is evident on ultrasound.
But the experience is often involuntary, arousal-linked, and not the same subjective event as ordinary urination.
Can someone squirt without orgasm?
Yes. Some women squirt with high arousal even without orgasm.
Can someone orgasm without squirting?
Yes. Very commonly.
Why do I feel like I have to pee right before?
For some, that sensation is part of the arousal pattern in the urethral/bladder region. If fear of “peeing” makes you clamp down, it can interrupt pleasure.
Why does it happen with one partner but not another?
Because bodies respond to safety, pressure, rhythm, and emotional context—not just anatomy. Also: different stimulation patterns, different pacing, different levels of self-consciousness.
Is it normal to never squirt?
Completely normal.
Can pelvic floor tension stop it?
It can. A “clamp” response can reduce the likelihood of fluid expulsion and can also change orgasm quality for some people.
Does squirting mean the sex was better?
No. It means a particular physiological event happened.
Therapist’s Note
If squirting has become a source of pressure, embarrassment, avoidance, or quiet dread, you are not dealing with a “sex technique” problem. You’re dealing with a meaning problem—how the couple interprets bodies, mess, control, and permission.
And if your bedroom has started to feel like a place where someone is being graded—graded for performance, graded for reactions, graded for what their body does under intensity—then yes, it makes perfect sense that desire would start to go missing.
Final Thoughts
Some women squirt because the body, under enough arousal, sometimes routes fluid through the urethra—often bladder-involved, sometimes mixed with paraurethral secretions.
But the deeper truth is simpler: your relationship has to be a place where the body is allowed to be a body.
No trophies. No disgust. No courtroom. No performance review.
Just two people learning how to stay kind while desire does what it does.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Cleveland Clinic. (2022, September 2). Skene’s gland: Function, location, secretion & conditions.
International Society for Sexual Medicine. (2021, August 2). Do women ejaculate?
Pastor, Z., & Chmel, R. (2018). Differential diagnostics of female “sexual” fluids: A narrative review. International Urogynecology Journal, 29(5), 621–629. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00192-017-3527-9
Rodriguez, F. D., Camacho, A., Bordes, S. J., Gardner, B., Levin, R. J., & Tubbs, R. S. (2021). Female ejaculation: An update on anatomy, history, and controversies. Clinical Anatomy, 34(1), 103–107. https://doi.org/10.1002/ca.23654
Rubio-Casillas, A., & Jannini, E. A. (2011). New insights from one case of female ejaculation. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 8(12), 3500–3504. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2011.02472.x
Salama, S., Boitrelle, F., Gauquelin, A., Malagrida, L., Thiounn, N., & Desvaux, P. (2015). Nature and origin of “squirting” in female sexuality. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 12(3), 661–666. https://doi.org/10.1111/jsm.12799
Påfs, J., et al. (2024). Women’s experiences of female ejaculation and/or squirting. Sexual Medicine Open Access, 12(5).