Why Marriage Survives: The Atlantic on Divorce Declines, Two-Parent Homes, and a Modest 2025 Comeback
Saturday, September 13, 2025. This is for a client who invited me to their upcoming wedding in NYC in January.
For decades, people spoke of marriage the way you talk about a tired shopping mall: once bustling, now half empty, and destined to be bulldozed for condos.
The divorce boom, the rise of cohabitation, the endless reinvention of family life—all pointed toward matrimony as a quaint relic.
And yet, as The Atlantic (2025) points out, America marriage refuses to die.
Divorce rates are falling, and more children are growing up in two-parent households. In an era where trust in institutions is at an all-time low, marriage is the one that keeps limping along, like a stubborn houseplant no one remembered to water—but which somehow manages to thrive anyway.
Divorce Declines: A Second Draft, Not a First
The explanation isn’t sentimental. It’s practical.
People are marrying later, after they’ve tested the waters with cohabitation, combined bank accounts, or at least a joint Netflix login. They’re older, cagier, and less inclined to stumble into vows with someone they met last spring.
Research backs it up: divorce rates have been sliding since the 1980s, especially among younger cohorts who marry later and more selectively (Kennedy & Ruggles, 2014). The institution isn’t healthier—it’s choosier. What used to be a first draft of adulthood has become a second, more carefully edited version.
The Trouble with Money: Rita and Kyle
But let’s not pretend survival equals serenity.
Even the “strong” marriages get tested—and money is still the fastest way to light the fuse.
Meet Rita and Kyle. They look like a demographic success story: two kids, two incomes, a modest Cape Cod house. Then Kyle buys a pair of running shoes—on sale, of course. Rita sees the box and snaps: “You just blew the grocery budget on sneakers.”
Ten minutes later, the argument isn’t about shoes. Rita is crying about security. Kyle is raging about always being treated like the family delinquent. In reality, they’re reenacting childhood scripts. She grew up fearing eviction. He grew up where spending meant love. Every Visa bill is a séance with their parents’ ghosts.
This is why money fights are so volatile—they’re double-barreled. It’s never just the price tag. It’s identity, fairness, survival. If you think you’re just fighting about almond butter, you’re already in trouble.
Two-Parent Households on the Rise
According to The Atlantic, in the USA, more kids are now living with two married parents.
Cohabitation is still common, sure, but marriage still has one thing going for it: it’s harder to walk away from. That stickiness, inconvenient as it is, provides a kind of stability families still crave.
And the research agrees. Children raised in stable, two-parent homes tend to show stronger outcomes in education and health, though of course quality matters more than paperwork (Amato, 2010). A bad marriage doesn’t do kids any favors, but the overall trend points in 2025 to families more often choosing structure over improvisation.
Marriage as Infrastructure
Which brings us, gentle reader, to the heart of it: marriage endures because it functions like infrastructure. It organizes daily life, provides a framework for raising kids, and pools resources. Not glamorous, not romantic—useful.
For some, marriage is like New York City itself: expensive, exhausting, and impossible to leave.
That’s not a flaw. It’s a feature. Permanence has its own value, especially in a culture where everything else—news, jobs, even friendships—feels temporary.
The Wry Reality Check
But let’s not overstate this modest revival.
Divorce is down in part because people are screening more carefully, not because marriage suddenly became blissful.
Americans are more privileged, more prepared, and more likely to have the resources to make it work. In that sense, marriage hasn’t broadened—it’s actually narrowed. It’s less a mass-market product than a boutique item.
But here’s my key point; in a disposable culture obsessed with novelty, the sheer slowness of marriage makes it radical. It’s not exciting; it’s durable. And, apparently, durability is back in fashion.
How to Keep Marriage Alive in 2025
So, how do you keep yours from buckling under the weight of sneakers and credit card bills?
Repair Quickly. Conflict isn’t fatal; contempt is. Circle back, even if your apology is clumsy.
Protect Rituals of Connection. A coffee together in the morning, a Friday pizza night, an inside joke—these tiny habits matter.
Balance the Books—and Bestow Your Attention. Pay the bills, yes. But don’t let your entire marriage turn into an Excel spreadsheet. Attention is the currency that outlasts inflation.
Rita and Kyle figured this out. He tracks discretionary spending, she manages groceries, and both protect pizza night with the kids. Their bank balance didn’t improve, but their fights did. Which is exactly my point.
Final Word
The Atlantic is right: American marriage has not only survived but adapted. Divorce is down somewhat, two-parent households are ticking upward, and the institution of marriage has become leaner, later, and more intentional.
Marriage in the USA persists not because it’s perfect, but because it still works. And in a culture where everything else can be swiped away, that’s a rare kind of ongoing comfort.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Amato, P. R. (2010). Research on divorce: Continuing trends and new developments. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72(3), 650–666. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2010.00723.x
Kennedy, S., & Ruggles, S. (2014). Breaking up is hard to count: The rise of divorce in the United States, 1980–2010. Demography, 51(2), 587–598. https://doi.org/10.1007/s13524-013-0270-9
The Atlantic. (2025, September). Why Marriage Survives. The Atlantic Magazine.https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2025/09/marriage-institution-value-comeback/683564/