The Strategic Partnership Questionnaire
Wednesday, September 3, 2025.
Most couples start out with romance, adventure, and maybe a suspicious number of tapas dates.
But sooner or later, love moves from fireworks to spreadsheets—whether that means managing bills, blending families, or just figuring out who actually remembered to buy toothpaste.
This is where relationships shift into something bigger: a strategic partnership.
Not in the soulless corporate sense, but in the “we’re building a life together, and we need systems that don’t collapse under the weight of laundry” sense.
The good news?
Research shows that thriving couples look less like fairytale romances and more like resilient organizations.
They have shared vision, fair division of labor, healthy repair after conflict, and clear future planning (Gottman & Silver, 2015; Karney & Bradbury, 2020; Rusbult, 1980).
The even better news? You don’t need a Harvard MBA to get there. You just need a little structure—and maybe this something like this modest little questionnaire.
The Strategic Partnership Questionnaire
Take this quiz with your partner. Answer honestly, but don’t overthink it. A glass of wine won’t hurt either.
Vision Statement
Do we both know what our “big picture” looks like?
Can we describe it without sounding like a Shark Tank audition?
Division of Labor (Without Cold War Tactics)
Do we split household and emotional labor fairly?
Or does “shared responsibility” secretly mean “one of us does everything, and the other nods supportively”?
Conflict Resolution (a.k.a. The Board Meeting From Hell)
When things get tense, do we:
A. Talk it through calmly.
B. Weaponize grievances from 2012.
C. Pretend to sleep until the storm passes.
Resource Allocation (The Money Question)
Do we both know where the money goes?
Are we transparent about spending, saving, and financial goals?
Growth and Innovation
Do we encourage each other to evolve and try new things?
Or are we clinging to routines like shipwreck survivors gripping driftwood?
Quality Control (The Sex Audit)
Do we check in about intimacy, or is sex the unspoken department no one manages?
Are we trying new ways to connect, or running on autopilot?
Customer Service Standards
When one of us is stressed, do we respond with empathy and support?
Or do we offer “helpful” classics like: Have you tried drinking water?
Talent Retention
Do we cheer for each other’s goals and celebrate wins?
Or do we roll our eyes whenever one of us dares to dream?
Succession Planning (a.k.a. The Future)
Do we have at least a napkin-sketch plan for life’s curveballs?
Or are we hoping our partner will “just know”?
How to Score This:
Use this 3-point scale for each question:
2 = Consistently true (we do this exceedingly well)
1 = Sometimes / in progress
0 = Not happening
For the multiple-choice question (#3):
A = 2, B = 1, C = 0
Total possible points: 18
Results:
15–18: Strategic Partners
You’re Patagonia—values-driven, resilient, and smugly proud of yourselves. Keep doing regular check-ins so you don’t drift.11–14: Solid—Needs a Tune-Up
Good bones with a few squeaks. Pick one category (money, conflict, or roles) and improve it for 30 days.7–10: Functional but Fragile
You’re running on heroic efforts, not systems. Try a 20-minute weekly “ops meeting” (wins, logistics, money, connection, repair).0–6: Alignment Emergency
You’re Sears. Love without infrastructure. Time to rebuild—and therapy might be the best place to start.
Why This Matters
Jokes aside, this isn’t about turning your love into a corporation.
It’s more about giving your relationship infrastructure so it has space for play, intimacy, and actual rest.
Couples who talk openly about emotional labor, money, roles, and conflict repair report higher satisfaction and stability (Overall & McNulty, 2017).
Shared goals and fairness predict long-term commitment (Karney & Bradbury, 2020).
And John Gottman’s decades of research show that repair attempts—not the absence of conflict—separate thriving couples from failing ones (Gottman & Silver, 2015).
Think of this quiz as a playful diagnostic tool: it might hint at where the cracks are so you can patch them before the whole structure starts to wobble.
FAQ
1) We scored differently. Who’s right?
Neither—it’s about perception. Treat the gap as data. Talk about what feels uneven.
2) We feel more like business partners than lovers. Is that bad?
Not if you also protect affection and fun. Schedule “no logistics” dates—no money talk, no chore charts, just connection.
3) Where do we start?
Go where the friction hurts most. If chores cause resentment, start with division of labor. If anxiety is high, start with money.
4) How do we fight better?
Use soft startups (“When X happens, I feel Y, I need Z”) and repairs (“Can we start over?”). These simple moves predict long-term success.
Closing Thoughts
A strategic partnership is not about sucking the romance out of love—it’s about protecting it. When couples build systems that handle the boring stuff, they free up energy for the good stuff: laughter, intimacy, and shared dreams.
Try the questionnaire. Compare notes. And remember: progress, not perfection, is how partnerships compound interest.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (2015). The seven principles for making marriage work. Harmony.
Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (2020). Research on marital quality and stability. Annual Review of Psychology, 71,593–617. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010419-051342
Overall, N. C., & McNulty, J. K. (2017). What type of communication during conflict is beneficial for intimate relationships? Current Opinion in Psychology, 13, 1–5. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.03.002
Rusbult, C. E. (1980). Commitment and satisfaction in romantic associations: A test of the investment model. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 16(2), 172–186. https://doi.org/10.1016/0022-1031(80)90007-4