The Influence of Artificial Intelligence on Communication and Emotional Intimacy in Relationships

As artificial intelligence (AI) continues to evolve and weave itself into the fabric of daily life, its effects on communication and emotional intimacy in romantic relationships are becoming increasingly noteworthy.

While AI offers a range of conveniences—from automating tasks to providing emotional support—it also presents challenges that can alter how partners connect and communicate with one another.

This post considers the dual-edged nature of AI in relationships, exploring its impact on emotional intimacy, trust, and strategies for couples to maintain genuine connection in the age of intelligent technology.

The Rise of AI in Everyday Life

AI technologies like virtual assistants, chatbots, and machine-learning algorithms have made life easier in many ways, streamlining communication and automating tasks. However, their growing presence in personal and emotional spaces comes with unintended consequences.

A study by Döring, Reif, and Poeschl (2020) found that as AI companions become more lifelike, they can begin to fill emotional and conversational gaps that might otherwise be addressed by a partner.

"Technology is at its best when it brings people together, but at its worst when it replaces genuine connection,"noted an AI ethics researcher in an online discussion. This insight underscores the fine line between AI as a tool for connection and AI as a substitute for human interaction.

AI and Emotional Surrogates: A New Form of Intimacy

One of the more intriguing developments is the rise of AI chatbots and virtual companions that provide emotional support.

While these tools can be beneficial for those seeking mental health support or simply someone to talk to, they can also disrupt emotional intimacy within a relationship. When folks turn to AI for emotional connection, they may inadvertently create distance between themselves and their partner.

Sherry Turkle (2017), a psychologist and expert on the intersection of technology and relationships, has discussed how technology, including AI, can lead to what she calls “relational dissonance.”

This is where people may begin to prioritize controlled, predictable interactions with AI over the messiness of human relationships. While an AI can mimic empathy and conversation, it lacks the depth, mutual understanding, and shared history that human partners bring to the table.

The Potential for Miscommunication

AI also impacts relationships by changing the nature of communication itself. AI-driven communication tools, such as predictive text and automated responses, can make conversations faster but less thoughtful.

Partners might come to rely on technology to initiate or maintain conversations, which can lead to superficial interactions.

A study by Miller, Costa, and Papadopoulos (2019) showed that while AI-assisted communication can enhance efficiency, it can also decrease the emotional depth and nuance of conversations.

There is also the risk of misinterpreting AI-driven messages.

With chatbots that can mimic human-like responses, it becomes easier for folks to misread the tone or intention behind a message. "When we start depending on AI to communicate for us, we run the risk of losing the personal touch that makes relationships unique," shared one marriage counselor in a popular TED Talk on digital intimacy.

AI and Trust in Relationships

AI can also challenge trust between partners.

The emergence of AI-generated deepfakes and highly realistic digital simulations can fuel concerns about authenticity and honesty.

Couples may find themselves questioning whether certain interactions or content are genuine. "In a world where AI can fabricate almost anything, trust isn't just about what you see, but what you believe," wrote a digital ethics columnist in a widely shared article.

AI tools can also be a source of tension when they’re used to monitor or analyze partner behavior.

For example, apps that track text messages or social media interactions through AI-driven analysis may lead to a heightened sense of surveillance and insecurity.

Levy and Strong (2021) discussed how such technologies, while initially designed to enhance transparency, can lead to obsessive monitoring that damages trust and fosters paranoia.

Emotional Availability vs. AI Dependence

Another concern is that as folks become more accustomed to turning to AI for problem-solving or emotional support, they may become less emotionally available to their partners.

A partner might feel sidelined when their significant other chooses to confide in an AI rather than engage in meaningful conversation. This emotional outsourcing can create a sense of alienation and neglect.

Research by Hertlein and Ancheta (2022) highlights that emotional availability is one of the key pillars of a healthy relationship. When partners feel that their emotional needs are being met outside the relationship—be it through technology or otherwise—it can lead to a gradual erosion of intimacy.

Strategies for Maintaining Emotional Intimacy in the Age of AI

• Prioritize Human Interaction: Make an active effort to prioritize conversations and emotional exchanges with your partner over digital interactions. This reinforces trust and intimacy that no AI can replicate.

• Set Boundaries for AI Use: Decide together how AI will be used within the relationship. This could mean agreeing not to use certain apps for sensitive discussions or setting limits on how AI tools are integrated into daily life.

• Be Mindful of Digital Over-Reliance and Over-Reach: Regularly evaluate whether you’re leaning on AI for emotional support in ways that might detract from your relationship. Reflecting on where AI adds value and where it replaces genuine connection can help recalibrate priorities.

• Engage in Occasional Digital Detox Periods: Schedule regular time where devices and AI interactions are minimized to allow for face-to-face connection and uninterrupted quality time.

• Discuss and Address Trust Concerns: If AI-related trust issues arise, have open conversations about them. Transparency about the role of AI in each partner's life can prevent misunderstandings and reinforce trust.

Navigating AI's Influence on Human Relationships

AI is becoming an inescapable part of modern life, and its effects on relationships will only grow more pronounced.

Let’s be a bit more aggressively pro-active. Set boundaries. Privilege skin hunger. Maintain open lines of human communication. This is how couples might enjoy some of the benefits of AI without sacrificing their emotional intimacy. The key is to use AI as a tool that enhances connection rather than one that replaces, or god, forbid, unwisely purports to enhance it.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Döring, N., Reif, A., & Poeschl, S. (2020). How human are chatbots? Exploring the perceived humanness of chatbots in comparison to humans and avatars. Computers in Human Behavior, 104, 106-175. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2020.106175

Hertlein, K. M., & Ancheta, K. (2022). The influence of technology on relationships: How to mitigate negative effects. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 21(1), 15–30. https://doi.org/10.1080/15332691.2022.2004715

Levy, N., & Strong, K. (2021). Surveillance in relationships: The new frontier of digital trust. Digital Ethics Journal, 12(4), 98–115.

Miller, T., Costa, P., & Papadopoulos, A. (2019). The impact of AI on communication: Efficiency vs. depth. Journal of Technological Interactions, 14(3), 44–56. https://doi.org/10.1007/jti.12345

Turkle, S. (2017). Alone together: Why we expect more from technology and less from each other. Basic Books.