The Great American Sex Recession: Why Intimacy Is Declining in Marriage and Dating
Friday, September 5, 2025.
Most people imagine the collapse of desire as something loud—affairs, slammed doors, maybe someone weeping dramatically in the driveway.
But the real story is quieter. Millions of Americans are simply… not doing it. Welcome to the sex recession, where intimacy has oddly gone missing, and no one seems to know quite how to find it again.
How Bad Is the “Sex Recession”?
The Institute for Family Studies reports that only 37% of adults aged 18–64 were having sex weekly in 2024. In 1990, it was 55%. If this were Wall Street, we’d call it a bear market in desire.
Among young adults, the story is worse: 24% of those aged 18–29 said they hadn’t had sex at all in the past year—double the rate from 2010. That’s more of a dust bowl than a dry spell.
And this is not just a young person’s issue. Married couples, cohabiting partners, and middle-aged professionals all report declines. The drought is as democratic as it is dramatic.
Who’s Affected?
Married Adults: Weekly intimacy dropped from 59% in the 1990s to 49% today. Netflix is winning; your spouse is losing.
Unmarried Adults: Only about 34% report weekly sex, far lower than married peers. Apps give you dopamine hits, not necessarily warm bodies.
Young Adults: By far, the steepest decline. They also socialize less—down from 12.8 hours per week in 2010 to about 5 in 2024. It’s hard to get lucky if you don’t leave the house.
Why Is Intimacy Declining?
The Screen in the Sheets
Phones have crept into the bedroom, crowding out erotic touch.
“Bedrotting”—lying in bed endlessly scrolling, streaming, or gaming—has replaced sex with screen time (Twenge, 2017). The bedroom has become a charging station instead of a sanctuary.
The Pandemic Hangover
COVID did more than produce sourdough starters. It left routines shattered and stress levels high. Many couples have never fully rebuilt their intimacy habits (Lehmiller et al., 2021).
The Great Rewiring
The 2010s ushered in a profound cultural rewiring right under our collective noses. Digital immersion replaced face-to-face encounters, leaving less flirting, fewer relationships, and, consequently, fewer opportunities for sex (IFS, 2025).
Stress, Exhaustion, and Economics
The American Psychological Association notes Americans are more stressed, broke, and burnt out than ever. Desire isn’t gone; it’s just outflanked by fatigue (Kohut et al., 2023).
Why It Matters
Sex isn’t just recreation. It can also be a relational barometer. Couples who tend to prioritize regular intimacy report higher marital satisfaction, lower stress, and even better cardiovascular health (Brody & Costa, 2009; Muise et al., 2016).
In therapy, I see what happens when it fades: marriages turn into “polite roommate” arrangements. Love is still there, but the glue weakens.
For young adults, the issue is loneliness, not morality. Sexlessness often signals fewer close ties, less confidence, and declining social muscle.
Global Echoes
America isn’t alone.
France: Adults reporting no sex in the past year rose from 9% in 2006 to 24% in 2024. Among 18–24-year-olds, it jumped from 5% to 28% (The Guardian, 2024).
Japan: Nearly half of young adults now describe themselves as “sexually inexperienced,” shaped by overwork, digital immersion, and shifting cultural norms (Cabinet Office of Japan, 2022).
China: Delayed marriage, long work hours, and digital fatigue are eroding intimacy among urban youth (Wang & Zhou, 2023).
This isn’t a blip. It’s an apparent global contraction of erotic intimacy.
The Cultural Contradiction
Here’s the odd part: we talk about sex more than ever. It sells products, dominates streaming, fills headlines.
Yet folks are doing it less. We’re living through a paradox of abundance without appetite. In other words, the menu got bigger, as the meals went untouched.
Can We Reverse the Trend?
The advice isn’t glamorous, but it works:
Put the phones away. Attention is foreplay.
Go to bed together. Shared rhythms open doors.
Schedule intimacy. Couples who plan sex report higher satisfaction (Muise et al., 2016).
Get out of the house. Chemistry still requires proximity.
The Currency of Attention
The sex recession isn’t just about our libido. It’s also about our bestowed attention—how fragmented it’s become, and how little of it we reserve for each other.
If love is made of focus, then our screens are the central bank, inflating it into meaninglessness.
FAQ: Understanding the Sex Recession
Is the “sex recession” real?
Yes. Longitudinal surveys like the General Social Survey and global studies confirm that sexual activity has dropped significantly since the 1990s. This curious decline cuts across age, marital status, and culture.
What is “bedrotting”?
Bedrotting is a TikTok-born term for spending long hours in bed binge-watching, scrolling, or gaming—often instead of sleeping, socializing, or having sex. It has morphed into a symbol of digital distraction replacing intimacy.
Is this only happening in America?
No. France, Japan, and China also report similar declines. In Japan, nearly half of young adults identify as sexually inexperienced, while French surveys show a sharp rise in sexlessness among the young.
Does less sex mean less love?
Not always. Many couples maintain closeness without frequent sex. But research shows intimacy helps protect marriages from drifting into “roommate” dynamics.
What can couples do right now?
Put Away Devices in Bed.
Go to Sleep at the Same Time.
Schedule Intimacy.
Prioritize Social Life Outside the Home.
Small changes in attention often produce outsized changes in connection.
Limitations & Debates
It’s tempting to treat the sex recession as a straight-line crisis—less sex equals worse relationships. But the picture emerging isn’t all that neat and tidy.
Frequency ≠ Quality. Some researchers note that fewer encounters don’t necessarily mean worse ones. A smaller number of satisfying sexual experiences may still support intimacy and well-being (Mark et al., 2018). They make a good argument.
Generational Shifts in Values. Younger adults often report that emotional connection, mental health, and personal growth rank as high or higher priorities than sexual frequency (Carpenter, 2020). For some, less sex reflects choice, not dysfunction. Some might even call it modest and healthy.
Cultural Context. Surveys in Japan, China, and France show that what counts as “normal” sexual frequency can vary widely by culture. Comparing across societies can exaggerate the sense of crisis (Hu et al., 2022). I’m increasingly appreciating how culture profoundly shapes intimacy norms.
Methodological Cautions. Much of the data discussed here comes from large self-report surveys like the General Social Survey. While representatively useful, self-reported sexual frequency can be subject to recall bias or social desirability effects.
In other words, the sex recession is real, but its meaning depends on how we frame intimacy culturally.
For some couples, fewer sexual encounters may signal a growing disconnection. For others, it simply reflects different emerging priorities in a frantic, digitally saturated age. Something is clearly going on, and researchers, of course, will continue to pry.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Brody, S., & Costa, R. M. (2009). Satisfaction (sexual, life, relationship, and mental health) is associated directly with penile–vaginal intercourse, but inversely with other sexual behavior frequencies. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 6(7), 1947–1954. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2009.01303.x
Institute for Family Studies. (2025). The sex recession: The share of Americans having regular sex keeps dropping.Retrieved from https://ifstudies.org
Kohut, A., Parker, K., & Cohn, D. V. (2023). Stress in America: The state of our nation. American Psychological Association.
Lehmiller, J. J., Garcia, J. R., Gesselman, A. N., & Mark, K. P. (2021). Less sex, but more sexual diversity: Changes in sexual behavior during the COVID-19 pandemic. Journal of Sex Research, 58(7), 824–835. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2021.1897064
Muise, A., Schimmack, U., & Impett, E. A. (2016). Sexual frequency predicts greater well-being, but more is not always better. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 7(4), 295–302. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550615616462
Twenge, J. M. (2017). iGen: Why today’s super-connected kids are growing up less rebellious, more tolerant, less happy—and completely unprepared for adulthood. New York, NY: Atria Books.
Wang, H., & Zhou, Y. (2023). Changing patterns of intimacy in China’s urban youth. Asian Journal of Social Psychology, 26(1), 87–101. https://doi.org/10.1111/ajsp.12567