Radically Honest Obituaries: Why Some Families Are Telling the Brutal Truth
Tuesday, October 7, 2025. This is for Dr, Brad Blanton.
It’s not just your imagination—a few obituaries here and there are getting sharper, funnier, and far more candid.
Families who once followed the safe script of “beloved parent, devoted spouse” are now publishing tributes that read more like exposés.
It feels less like mourning and more like cultural rebellion. In a world where résumés and Instagram captions are polished to perfection, the radical honest obituary cuts through with startling clarity.
What Are Radical Honest Obituaries?
Most obituaries smooth over flaws. They emphasize kindness, family, and tradition, while quietly ignoring cruelty, neglect, or addiction.
Radical honest obituaries break that rule. They highlight what actually happened—sometimes tenderly, more often than not, a bit savagely.
And because they violate the social contract of death—be kind, or be silent—they go viral. These obits aren’t just memorials; they’re also moral reckonings.
Viral Examples of Radical Honest Obituaries
Florence “Flo” Harrelson (2024, Maine): Her daughter wrote that she “terrorized people” and left “a wake of destruction.” It read less like a eulogy and more like a cultural warning (Novak, 2024).
Renay Mandel Corren (2021, NC/PA): Her obituary celebrated her divorces, bankruptcies, and loud redheaded personality. It was messy, joyful, and unfiltered (Corren, 2021).
Leslie Ray Charping (2017, TX): Remembered for having “no redeeming qualities,” his remains were to be stored in a barn until the donkey’s bedding ran out (Charping, 2017).
Colonel Edward Ryan (2024, NY): Came out as gay in his obituary, writing, “I’m sorry for not having the courage to come out sooner.” Not cruel—just radically and poignantly truthful (Ryan, 2024).
Gary Wolfelt (2025, IN): Wrote his own: “Hello. I am Gary. I am completely dead now.” A darkly human mic drop (Wolfelt, 2025).
Kathleen Dehmlow (2017, MN): Her children ended with: “This world is a better place without her.” Honesty turned into a scorched-earth farewell (Dehmlow, 2017).
Kelsey Grace Endicott (2015, MA): Her mother openly named her daughter’s opioid addiction, refusing euphemism and confronting stigma head-on (Errico, 2015).
Why Radical Honest Obituaries Matter
1. They Break the “Kindness at All Costs” Rule
Death usually enforces a truce. Radical obituaries refuse that amnesty and insist on remembering harm as well as good. They carry on a dark remembrance.
2. They Validate Survivors
For children or spouses of destructive parents, writing the truth can be a form of healing. It names what everyone lived through but no one dared to print.
3. They Expose the Shadow Side of Legacy
A 2024 study of 38 million obituaries found that overwhelmingly most Americans are remembered for benevolence and tradition (Markowitz et al., 2024).
Radical obituaries flip the script. Not every life fits into casseroles and crocheted blankets.
The Risks of Brutal Honesty in Obituaries
Honesty heals, but it also wounds.
Family conflict: To one sibling, the obituary is catharsis; to another, it’s a public betrayal.
Public backlash: Funeral homes and newspapers have been bombarded with complaints after running harsh obits.
Unresolved grief: Sometimes truth liberates, sometimes it freezes pain in place.
As a marriage and family therapist, I see these obituaries as continuing the conflict by other means. Still, grief is rarely neat. Anger is sometimes part of mourning.
Are Radical Honest Obituaries Uniquely American?
Well, other cultures do tend to favor continuity.
Mexico’s Día de los Muertos altars emphasize remembrance; Japan’s ancestor memorials stress respect; the British obit leans on wit.
But in the U.S., we’ve built a culture of confession. We embrace memoirs that tell all, TikToks that overshare, and corporate philosophies like radical candor (Scott, 2017).
Communication scholar Sarah Banet-Weiser (2012) calls this the “culture of authenticity”—our obsession with things that feel “real.”
Radical obituaries are just death’s entry into that tradition.
I guess we Americans don’t just ceremonially bury our dead; some of us want to review them now as well.
Why Radical Honest Obituaries Are Happening Now
Obituaries reflect culture as much as they reflect people.
At a time when trust in institutions feels shaky and relentless positivity rings false, blunt honesty—even cruelty—reads like rebellion.
Radical obituaries aren’t really about the dead; they’re about the living. They’re survivors demanding recognition for their truth. They mark a shift: legacy is no longer only about image. It’s about accountability.
A casserole-soaked sendoff may keep the neighbors comfortable, but the radically honest obituary insists memory shouldn’t be propaganda.
Sometimes the last word isn’t forgiveness. Sometimes it’s finally telling the truth.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Banet-Weiser, S. (2012). Authentic™: The politics of ambivalence in a brand culture. New York: NYU Press.
Charping, L. R. (2017). Obituary of Leslie Ray Charping [Published text]. Houston Chronicle.
Corren, R. M. (2021). Obituary of Renay Mandel Corren [Published text]. Local NC/PA newspaper, cited in The Guardian.
Dehmlow, K. (2017). Obituary of Kathleen Dehmlow [Published text]. Redwood Gazette.
Errico, K. (2015). Obituary of Kelsey Grace Endicott [Published text]. Boston Globe.
Markowitz, D. M., Mazzuchi, T., Syropoulos, S., Law, K. F., & Young, L. (2024). An exploration of basic human values in 38 million obituaries over 30 years. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 121(29), e2400925121. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2400925121
Novak, C. (2024). Obituary for Florence Harrelson [Published text]. Central Maine.
Ryan, E. T. (2024). Obituary of Colonel Edward Thomas Ryan [Published text]. Albany Times-Union.
Scott, K. (2017). Radical candor: Be a kick-ass boss without losing your humanity. New York: St. Martin’s Press.
Wolfelt, G. (2025). Self-written obituary [Published posthumously]. People / Funeral Home Release.