The Backlash Against the “Princess Treatment” Trend
Sunday, August 3, 2025.
If you've scrolled TikTok in the past year, you’ve probably seen it: clips tagged with #PrincessTreatment—soft-lit videos of women being pampered with gifts, doors held open, and lavish surprises. In theory, it’s a celebration of “being adored.”
In practice? It’s a viral meme built on an old relational script in glittery new packaging.
Now, the trend is facing a backlash—not just from skeptical therapists and feminists, but from Gen Z itself, who are beginning to question the power dynamics hiding behind the pink bows.
So, what exactly is “Princess Treatment”?
Why did it go viral? And what does its backlash tell us about modern feedback, gender, and relational equity?
What Is “Princess Treatment”?
On the surface, princess treatment is simple: a woman is treated like royalty. That might mean:
Being showered with gifts
Having every need anticipated
Avoiding any emotional discomfort
Never hearing criticism, even when it’s warranted
It's a fantasy of total care—romantic, material, and emotional.
But scroll deeper and the message often shifts from cute to coercive. Many of the top-performing princess treatment clips imply a transactional logic: “If he can’t do this for you, he doesn’t deserve you.”
The result? A relationship model built more on performance and reward than mutual growth.
The Backlash: Soft Power, Hard Truths
The Daily Beast recently called the trend out for glamorizing passive femininity and emotional fragility masquerading as empowerment (The Daily Beast, 2025).
Many therapists (myself included) are seeing it show up in the room: young couples struggling to navigate feedback avoidance, unspoken power imbalances, and a rising sense that relationships must be all-affirming and conflict-free to be “healthy.”
Unfortunately, that’s not how intimacy works.
In fact, research shows that the ability to give and receive constructive feedback—with kindness, clarity, and vulnerability—is a key marker of long-term relational success (Gottman & Gottman, 2020; Real, 2022).
In “Princess Treatment” dynamics, that kind of feedback often gets labeled as “mean,” “toxic,” or “controlling.”
Discomfort becomes a dealbreaker. And partners, especially men, often feel pressured to suppress their own needs or concerns to keep the peace.
The Psychology Beneath the Crown: Safety vs. Control
What makes the trend seductive is also what makes it dangerous: the illusion of emotional safety.
When a relationship feels like a spa treatment, who wouldn’t want to stay? But when comfort becomes conditional—“You can love me only if you never make me feel bad”—it becomes a form of soft control.
This is especially damaging in neurodiverse or trauma-informed relationships, where authentic communication and emotional risk are essential for growth.
Couples who embrace discomfort—as a tool for differentiation and repair—are statistically more likely to stay together than those who avoid it (Johnson, Makinen, & Millikin, 2005).
Princess Treatment Meets Cultural Narcissism
Let’s name the shadow: the trend plays into Cultural Narcissism. Not the clinical kind, but the broader cultural script that says:
You’re the main character.
You deserve devotion without challenge.
Anyone who disrupts your comfort is unsafe.
In couples therapy, we see the result: a fear of rupture so deep that honesty dies on the vine. Partners become emotional butlers, not co-creators of growth.
What Young Couples Are Saying (and Feeling)
On Reddit, where the #PrincessTreatment backlash is gaining steam, users are posting:
“He treated me like a queen, but I didn’t even know who he really was.”
“It felt infantilizing, not loving.”
“Every disagreement felt like I’d broken the spell.”
These comments reflect a growing unease with curated romance and a yearning for messier, more authentic love.
What Healthy Intimacy Actually Looks Like
Princess treatment isn’t inherently bad. Everyone deserves care. But true intimacy includes:
Mutual Feedback: “I want to know how I affect you.”
Resilience: “We can repair, even when we disappoint each other.”
Growth, Not Performance: “Love me where I’m real, not where I’m perfect.”
Modern love asks us to evolve beyond royalty fantasies into relational democracy—where both voices matter, both wounds are held, and both people grow.
Final Thoughts: From Throne to Table
If you’re tired of feeling like a prop in someone else’s fairy tale, you’re not alone. The fallout of “Princess Treatment” is revealing something essential: we crave safety, yes—but not at the cost of our voice, our truth, or our shared humanity.
True love doesn’t treat you like royalty.
It treats you like a human being.
And that, in the long run, is a better sort of magic.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Gottman, J. M., & Gottman, J. S. (2020). Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Workman Publishing.
Johnson, S. M., Makinen, J. A., & Millikin, J. W. (2005). Attachment injuries in couple relationships: A new perspective on impasses in couples therapy. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 31(2), 145–157. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1752-0606.2005.tb01552.x
Real, T. (2022). Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. Random House.
Clinician Transparency Statement:
I practice under the supervision of two licensed marriage and family therapists in accordance with Massachusetts law—one for my public mental health work and another for my private practice. This article reflects a synthesis of peer-reviewed research, lived clinical experience, and the emotional truths I’ve witnessed in real clients. It is not a substitute for therapy—but it might be the nudge that leads you to it.