Infidelity Across Cultures: What the Latest Research Tells Us About the Chinese Diaspora
Sunday, August 31, 2025.
Infidelity is one of those topics everyone thinks they understand.
But when researchers dig into the details, they find it’s not one single thing at all. In fact, the meaning of betrayal shifts depending on culture, generation, and even technology.
A global review of infidelity research makes a striking point: how we define infidelity matters more than how often it happens.
Some couples say only sex counts. Others see emotional intimacy, flirting online, or even private messaging as a serious breach.
What looks like “cheating” in one culture may not even register as such in another (Levine, García, & Thomas, 2024).
The Global Story: Context Is Everything
Across societies, four forces shape how infidelity is judged and handled:
Collectivism vs. Individualism – Is betrayal a private matter, or a public shame for the whole family?
Religion – Moral teachings often magnify stigma.
Gender Double Standards – In many places, men’s affairs are historically tolerated more than women’s.
Law – In some countries infidelity is still a crime; in others, it’s strictly a private matter.
Attachment research adds another layer. A recent review found that Anxious and Avoidant Attachment styles are linked to higher infidelity risk worldwide, but how partners respond depends on cultural expectations (Wang & Campbell, 2023).
Mainland China: Distance as a Risk Factor
The 2020 Chinese Private Life Survey showed infidelity was more likely to occur among couples who held more permissive attitudes toward extramarital sex, higher income, sexual dissatisfaction—and especially when spouses lived apart (Wang, 2022).
That finding is echoed in recent research on migration.
The logistics of how we work matters. Living apart for work or economic opportunity weakens traditional social controls and leaves couples more vulnerable to affairs (Zhang & Luo, 2022).
In other words, distance doesn’t directly cause betrayal, but it reliably creates conditions where it’s easier to happen.
Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Singapore: Law Meets Culture
Hong Kong: Infidelity is considered a somewhat more serious transgression than in the West. Cheating remains a ground for divorce under the Matrimonial Causes Ordinance, but courts now require proof of physical acts (Wang, 2022).
Taiwan: In 2020, the Constitutional Court decriminalized infidelity, shifting it from a state crime to a private matter (Wang, 2022).
Singapore: While national survey data show increasingly liberal views on cohabitation and same-sex issues, the culture retains a strong moral consensus condemning infidelity (Institute of Policy Studies, 2023).
These examples remind us: the rules of infidelity are written not only in bedrooms, but also in courts and culture.
The Chinese Diaspora: Acculturation and Astronaut Families
Among Chinese families abroad, two themes stand out.
Acculturation: Asian Americans, including Chinese Americans, report more conservative sexual norms than European Americans overall.
However, over time and across generations, those attitudes can tend to soften. First-generation families often hold strict views, while later generations tend to adopt more flexible perspectives (Kim & Ward, 2007).
Astronaut Families: In cities like Vancouver or Sydney, “astronaut families” are common—one spouse works abroad, while the other stays with children.
Research shows these long-distance arrangements may heighten loneliness and suspicion, echoing what researchers have also seen in Mainland China’s commuter marriages (Tsang & Yeung, 2021).
Digital Betrayal: When Online Hurts Like Real Life
Phones have made infidelity more complicated.
Secrecy around apps and online messaging is highly correlated with both digital and offline affairs (Campbell & Kohut, 2023).
For younger couples, online betrayal isn’t “less real.” Internet addiction is a concern in China. A hidden WeChat account or secret Tinder profile can cut as deeply as a physical affair.
Gender and Forgiveness
Gender double standards curiously remain strong. Research notes that Chinese media continues to frame men’s infidelity as unfortunate but understandable, while women’s infidelity is often depicted as catastrophic (Liu, 2021).
Forgiveness itself is also somewhat gendered.
Wives often face cultural pressure to forgive unfaithful husbands in order to preserve family stability, even while resentment may sometimes run deep (Zhang & Sun, 2024).
Health Consequences of Infidelity
Infidelity leaves scars beyond relationships.
Betrayal can lead to lasting psychological distress and even poorer physical health (Hall & Fincham, 2024).
Unplanned, spontaneous affairs tend to provoke sharper guilt than planned ones (Hall & Fincham, 2024).
For those rebuilding after divorce, divorced Chinese young adults report approaching dating apps with extreme caution, rebuilding trust slowly and deliberately (Zhang & Sun, 2024).
What This Means for Couples and Science-Based Couples Therapists
Clarify Your Working Model. Don’t assume partners mean the same thing by “cheating.”
Watch for Long Distance Dynamics. Migration, visas, and work travel consistently raise risk. Always look at the work life balance and how work culture is transitioned from in the home.
Be Mindful of the Cultural Power of “Face.” Disclosure in Chinese contexts often involves extended family and reputation, not just two partners. American norms are also be churlish around cheating, but may lack cultural aspect of reputational anxiety.
Treat Digital Affairs Seriously. The research on this is quite clear. Check your cultural assumptions. Online betrayal hurts just as much.
Address Cultural Gender Scripts Head On. A therapist’s job is to promote more possibilities, not fewer. Women often face more pressure to forgive, which can complicate healing, not to mention making mutual trust a more elusive goal. I always make a point of discussing, forgiveness, forbearance and acceptance as discreet options for couples who chose to stay together.
Infidelity is Never Simple
Because humans sometimes stray, Infidelity is universal, but it is never simple.
In China, distance and migration create risks; in the diaspora, acculturation and astronaut families add new layers of complexity. Across generations, digital betrayal has become an emerging, if not defining feature of modern relationships.
For therapists, the most important question might be this: is betrayal always cultural as well as personal?
To understand it, and to heal from it, we need to see clearly the cultural script each couple is living in.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Campbell, L., & Kohut, T. (2023). The digital age of infidelity: Technology, secrecy, and relational outcomes. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 40(2), 405–428. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075221148719
Hall, J. H., & Fincham, F. D. (2024). Guilt and regret following different types of infidelity. The Family Journal: Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families, 32(1), 67–77. https://doi.org/10.1177/10664807241293150
Institute of Policy Studies. (2023). IPS survey on Singaporeans’ social attitudes 2023. National University of Singapore. https://lkyspp.nus.edu.sg/ips/research/surveys/ips-survey-on-singaporeans-social-attitudes-2023
Kim, J. L., & Ward, L. M. (2007). Silence speaks volumes: Parental sexual communication among Asian American emerging adults. Journal of Adolescent Research, 22(1), 3–31. https://doi.org/10.1177/0743558406294911
Levine, J., García, M., & Thomas, K. (2024). Infidelity in intimate relationships: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Personal Relationships, 31(1), 1–22. https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12535
Liu, H. (2021). Gendered narratives of infidelity in contemporary Chinese media. Chinese Journal of Communication, 14(4), 445–463. https://doi.org/10.1080/17544750.2020.1862845
Tsang, A., & Yeung, W. J. (2021). Transnational families and marital strain: Evidence from Hong Kong and Vancouver. Journal of Family Issues, 42(5), 1173–1198. https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X20979260
Wang, H. (2022). Predictors of marital infidelity in urban China: Evidence from the 2020 Chinese Private Life Survey. Chinese Sociological Review, 54(3), 211–234. https://doi.org/10.1080/21620555.2022.2034211
Wang, Q., & Campbell, L. (2023). Attachment and infidelity: A systematic review across cultures. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 27(2), 125–143. https://doi.org/10.1177/10888683221135292
Zhang, Y., & Luo, Y. (2022). Sexual infidelity among the married in China: Prevalence and correlates in the context of migration. Asian Journal of Social Psychology, 25(3), 312–324. https://doi.org/10.1111/ajsp.12491
Zhang, Y., & Sun, Q. (2024). Divorced Chinese young adults’ emotional strategies on dating apps: A qualitative study. Frontiers in Psychology, 15, 1413129. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1413129