Sleep Like You Mean It: How Sex (or Solo Play) Might Just Be Nature’s Melatonin
Wednesday, May 28, 2025.
When the sun goes down and the blue light filters are on, it turns out your body may have its own secret sleep hack—and no, it’s not warm milk or a meditation podcast narrated by a sleepy otter.
A new pilot study published in Sleep Health suggests that sex—whether partnered or solo—isn't just fun and occasionally complicated, but also objectively good for your sleep.
That’s right. Not just “I feel like I slept better” good, but measurably better. As in: less time staring at the ceiling, more time in deliciously uninterrupted sleep.
Let’s break down the pillow talk.
The Sleep-Sex Connection: Now with Science!
Until recently, science’s relationship with sex and sleep has been a little…shy.
Sure, everyone and their yoga instructor has anecdotal evidence that orgasm helps you fall asleep.
But hard data? It’s been over 30 years since anyone tried to put electrodes where the sun don’t shine (figuratively), and that early study had enough methodological issues to make your high school science teacher wince.
Enter Michele Lastella and colleagues from CQUniversity Australia, who bravely wired up seven cohabiting, heterosexual couples over 11 nights using a portable EEG device to track their sleep. The conditions were simple:
No sexual activity,
Solo masturbation (with orgasm), and
Partnered sex (also with orgasm—consistency, people).
Their goal? To go beyond sleepy self-reports and objectively measure what actually happens to the brain after sex.
Key Findings: Orgasm Is the New Melatonin
On nights with sexual activity:
Sleep efficiency increased to 93.4% with partnered sex and 93.2% with solo play, compared to 91.5% with no sex.
Participants spent about 7 minutes less awake after falling asleep.
Subjective sleep quality? Surprisingly unchanged—participants didn’t report sleeping better, even though their brains disagreed.
So why the gap between perception and reality? Possibly because we humans are famously bad at knowing how well we slept. (Ask any new parent.)
Hormones, Headbands, and the Case for Getting Frisky
Why does this happen? The researchers point to the hormonal cocktail released post-orgasm: oxytocin (aka the cuddle chemical), prolactin (which promotes relaxation), and a drop in cortisol (our stress hormone frenemie). In other words, the body flips its internal switch from “fight or flight” to “purr and power down.”
This supports past survey research by the same team showing that both men and women think they sleep better after sex with orgasm. Now we know their brains agree—even if their sleep diaries don’t reflect it.
Cosleeping Bonus Round: REM Synchrony
Another fascinating finding: REM stage concordance.
Couples who shared a bed—regardless of whether they’d had sex—entered REM sleep in tandem more often than when they slept apart.
That’s right: your brain and your partner’s brain might actually be dancing in sync while you dream about being chased by bees or missing your college final.
This echoes research from Drews et al. (2020), which found that bed-sharing increases not just REM synchrony but also the time spent in REM—linked to emotional regulation and memory consolidation.
But Don’t Throw Out the Melatonin Just Yet…
While the results are promising, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
The study had a tiny sample size (14 people), all healthy, heterosexual, cohabiting couples in their twenties.
So if you’re postmenopausal, divorced, neurodiverse, queer, or a parent of toddlers—this study doesn’t say much about your sleep-sex connection (yet).
Moreover, participants had to manually activate their sleep monitoring device post-coitus. Nothing says “romantic afterglow” like “hold on, babe, I need to turn on the brain scanner.”
Therapist Take: Why This Matters for Couples
As a couples therapist, here’s what stands out:
Pleasure is health care. Sex isn’t just recreation or reproduction—it’s restoration. This matters in a world where sleep meds are a billion-dollar industry and stress is a public health crisis.
It’s not just about sex—it’s about timing, intimacy, and mood. That boost in motivation and “readiness for the day” reported after partnered sex? That’s relationship juice. That’s the stuff that keeps couples feeling connected, aligned, and more able to take on the chaos of modern life.
Solo sex counts too. For those in long-distance relationships, mismatched libidos, or seasons of abstinence—this data validates that sexual self-care can still contribute to rest and well-being.
Future Directions (or: Please Fund Sexy Science)
The researchers hope to expand this study to include:
Participants with sleep disorders
LGBTQ+ couples
Older adults
People who aren’t all already sleeping like serene lab ferrets
Lastella’s vision? That sexual activity could someday be seen as a viable, non-pharmacological sleep aid. We’re not quite at “Masturbate 2x/day for better REM” prescription pads, but it’s not science fiction either.
If You’re Counting Sheep, Maybe Count Orgasms Instead
In a world that tells you to drink magnesium tea, meditate for 40 minutes, wear socks, turn off your devices, and lie perfectly still while praying your racing mind slows down—this research offers a more human (and frankly more fun) alternative.
It turns out that one of the oldest human behaviors may be one of the best natural sleep aids we’ve got.
So go ahead. Sleep like you just got laid. Because maybe you did.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed
REFERENCES (APA Style)
Drews, H., Wallot, S., Weinhold, S. L., Schneider, W., & Hennig, J. (2020). Bed-sharing couples show increased synchronization of heart rate variability rhythms during sleep. Scientific Reports, 10(1), 1–12. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-020-67744-6
Lastella, M., Miller, D. J., Montero, A., Sprajcer, M., Ferguson, S. A., Browne, M., & Vincent, G. E. (2025). Sleep on it: A pilot study exploring the impact of sexual activity on sleep outcomes in cohabiting couples. Sleep Health.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sleh.2025.04.003
Lastella, M., O'Mullan, C., Miller, D. J., & Vincent, G. E. (2019). Sex and sleep: Perceptions of sex as a sleep promoting behavior in the general adult population. Frontiers in Public Health, 7, 250. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpubh.2019.00250