Financial Infidelity and Divorce…
Friday, February 23, 2024. This is for LG, who avoids conflict.
Unpacking Financial Infidelity and Divorce…
Financial infidelity, the clandestine management or mismanagement of money within a committed relationship, poses a significant threat to marital harmony.
While infidelity commonly brings to mind extramarital affairs, financial betrayal can be equally damaging, if not more so, to the fabric of a marriage.
Let’s discuss the trauma of financial infidelity, its ramifications on divorce, and insights from social science research and divorce coach thought leaders.
What is Financial Infidelity?
Financial infidelity encompasses a spectrum of behaviors, ranging from minor deceptions like hiding purchases to more severe transgressions such as secret bank accounts or accumulating substantial debt without a partner's knowledge. Studies indicate that it is a pervasive issue, affecting a significant portion of couples globally.
According to a study published in the Journal of Financial Therapy, about 41% of adults in committed relationships admit to committing financial deception against their partner.
What Causes Financial Infidelity?
Various factors contribute to financial infidelity, including differences in values and attitudes about money, fear of conflict, compulsive spending habits, and underlying issues of control or power dynamics within the relationship.
Often, individuals engage in financial deception due to shame or guilt over their financial decisions, leading them to conceal their actions to avoid confrontation or judgment from their partner.
What is the Impact of Financial Infidelity on Marriages and Committed Relationships?
The repercussions of financial infidelity can be profound and multifaceted. Trust, the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, is eroded when one partner discovers the other's deceit, leading to betrayal, resentment, and emotional distress.
Financial infidelity often catalyzes broader issues within the marriage, exacerbating conflicts and communication breakdowns. Furthermore, it can hinder financial goals and stability, impeding the couple's ability to plan for their future together.
Divorce and Financial Infidelity…
Financial infidelity frequently contributes to the dissolution of marriages, playing a pivotal role in divorce proceedings. In a survey conducted by the National Endowment for Financial Education, it was found that financial deception was cited as a leading cause of divorce by 41% of respondents. Moreover, research indicates that divorces involving financial infidelity tend to be more cruel and protracted, as the betrayed partner grapples with feelings of anger, betrayal, and financial insecurity.
Insights from Divorce Coach Thought Leaders…
Divorce coaches, with their expertise in navigating the complexities of marital dissolution, offer valuable insights into the impact of financial infidelity on divorce outcomes. According to renowned divorce coach Susan Pease Gadoua, financial infidelity can be particularly devastating because it strikes at the heart of trust and intimacy in a relationship.
She emphasizes the importance of open and honest communication about finances to rebuild trust and salvage the marriage if possible or to facilitate an amicable divorce process.
The emotional toll of financial infidelity mustn’t be underestimated.
Beyond the immediate financial implications, the breach of trust and betrayal can lead to profound emotional distress for both partners.
Dr. Karen Finn, a divorce coach and author, emphasizes the importance of seeking emotional support during this challenging time. She suggests that betrayed spouses should prioritize self-care and seek guidance from trusted professionals or support groups to navigate the emotional turmoil associated with financial betrayal and divorce.
Additionally, if couples therapists are going to confront financial infidelity competently, they’ll need a comprehensive approach that goes beyond mere disclosure of deceptive behavior.
A few couples might have circumstances that might benefit from an expanded treatment team, such as financial counseling or therapy, to address underlying issues contributing to financial dishonesty and rebuild trust.
Dr. Brad Klontz, a financial psychologist, advocates for a holistic approach that encompasses both financial and psychological interventions to heal the wounds caused by financial infidelity and strengthen the marital bond.
What do we know about Financial Infidelity and Divorce?
Recent research sheds light on the prevalence and consequences of financial lies between spouses.
A study published in the Journal of Family and Economic Issues found that financial dishonesty was significantly associated with profoundly lower marital satisfaction and a higher likelihood of divorce.
Another study published in the Journal of Economic Psychology revealed that financial infidelity was linked to higher levels of financial stress and marital conflict, underscoring the toxic detrimental effects of financial lies on marital well-being.
Final thoughts
Financial Infidelity represents a significant threat to marital harmony and can have profound implications for divorce outcomes.
By fostering open communication, addressing underlying issues, and seeking professional guidance, couples might navigate the complexities of financial infidelity and, if necessary, pursue a divorce process that prioritizes mutual respect and equitable resolution.
However, prevention remains the best approach, and couples are encouraged to proactively address financial issues and cultivate transparency and trust within their relationship to safeguard against the destructive consequences of financial infidelity.
Financial infidelity encompasses a range of behaviors, from minor deceptions to significant betrayals such as hidden accounts or undisclosed debts.
Studies reveal its prevalence, affecting a considerable portion of couples worldwide, and highlight factors such as differing financial values and fear of conflict as contributing motives.
Money shows up in powerful ways in committed relationships.
Motivations for financial infidelity include shame, guilt, and control issues, leading to erosion of trust and communication breakdowns within the marriage. Its impact extends beyond finances, affecting emotional well-being and overall marital satisfaction. Because I follow the science, I can help with that.
Be well, stay kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Atwood, J. D., & Seifer, M. (2012). Financial infidelity in couple relationships. Journal of Financial Therapy, 3(1), 2. https://doi.org/10.4148/jft.v3i1.1446
Jeanfreau, M., Noguchi, K., Mong, M. D., & Stadthagen, H. (2018). Risk factors associated with financial infidelity among individuals in committed relationships. Journal of Financial Therapy, 9(1), 1-20. https://doi.org/10.4148/1944-9771.1164
Kwon, H., Rueter, M. A., Lee, M. S., Koh, S., & Ok, S. W. (2015). Marital relationships following financial infidelity: A comparative study of Korea and the United States. Family and Consumer Sciences Research Journal, 43(4), 367-383. https://doi.org/10.1111/fcsr.12115
Garbinsky, E. N., Klesse, A. K., & Aaker, J. (2014). Money in the bank: Feeling powerful increases saving. Journal of Consumer Research, 41(3), 610-623. https://doi.org/10.1086/676965
Papp, L. M., Cummings, E. M., & Goeke-Morey, M. C. (2009). For richer, for poorer: Money as a topic of marital conflict in the home. Family Relations, 58(1), 91-103. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2008.00537.x
Tosun, D. P., & Shaw, P. (2016). Who lies about money in relationships? The influence of demographic and psychographic factors. Journal of Financial Therapy, 7(2), 1-15. https://doi.org/10.4148/1944-9771.1113
