America’s Demographic Cliff: Narcissism in Yoga Pants, Live-Streaming Our Own Extinction

Friday, September 19, 2025.

The University of New Hampshire recently announced that the United States has 5.7 million more childless women than expected and 11.8 million fewer births since 2007 (Johnson, 2025).

Demographers call it the demographic cliff.

Personally, I think “cliff” is generous. A cliff suggests someone slipped. This looks more like a nation deliberately walking into traffic while posting a TikTok about their“boundaries.”

Here’s a sobering factoid: In 2024, slightly over half of American women in their twenties and thirties had not given birth (Johnson, 2025).

In other words: for the first time in history, motherhood is less common than brunch. Yikes!

Lasch Was Right, Unfortunately

Christopher Lasch published The Culture of Narcissism in 1979, warning that America was becoming too self-absorbed to sustain its own future.

He worried about therapy culture and fragile egos. He didn’t live to see Instagram, which confirmed every one of his fears in a micro-second (Lasch, 1979; Greenberg, 2019).

Back then, people thought he was being dramatic. Today, he looks like a fucking optimist.

Fertility Decline: Other Countries Panic, America Brands It

Japan recorded just 686,061 births in 2024 (McCurry, 2025). South Korea’s fertility rate is 0.75, which is barely even a fraction (Kim, 2025).

Southern Europe is equally bleak, although Italians at least have the decency to feel guilty about it (Jones, 2024).

And the U.S.? We call it child-free chic.

Our fertility crisis has a hashtag and a Pinterest board. Where Japan mourns, America takes a selfie.

America as a Narcissistic Spouse

If America were in couples therapy, it would be the spouse who insists, “I love you, but let’s not define the relationship.”

For twenty years.

Every discussion about the future gets deflected with a vague comment about “self-care.”

And when pressed, America gaslights: “Parenthood is a choice. If you can’t afford it, don’t have kids.”

This, from a country that provides no parental leave, childcare costs equal to rent, and housing that might as well be auctioned by Sotheby’s.

That isn’t freedom. It’s neglect with a funhouse mirror.

Policy as Neglect

The invoices tell the story:

• Childcare costs eat 9–19% of income, triple the federal “affordability” benchmark (Pew Research Center, 2024; U.S. Department of Labor, 2024).

• Paid parental leave at the federal level: still zero. The U.S. is the only wealthy nation that expects people to have children on unpaid vacation days (Partnership for Early Childhood Policy, 2021).

This isn’t an accident. It’s a form of Cultural Narcissism written into policy: lavish today, starve tomorrow.

How Other Countries Do It (With Embarrassing Ease)

Sweden gives parents 480 days of leave per child, most of it paid at 80%, and even lets grandparents use some of it (Le Monde, 2024).

Spain just expanded to 17 weeks fully paid for mothers and fathers (Reuters, 2025a). Australia is moving to 26 weeks (Pash, 2024).

Meanwhile, America has its head so far up its ass that it can’t even agree on school lunches.

The lone, shimmering bright spot: New Mexico, which will offer universal free childcare and preschool starting November 1, 2025, saving families about $12,000 per child (Associated Press, 2025). New Mexico. Not Scandinavia. New Mexico.

Homework for the Patient

If America were my patient, I’d write this in the chart:

• Diagnosis: chronic Cultural Narcissism, delusional belief in eternal adolescence.

• Treatment plan: Investment Ordeal Therapy; universal childcare, paid leave, affordable housing.

• Prognosis: guarded. Especially if the patient continues to confuse hashtags with medicine.

Civilizations usually end with plagues, invasions, or famine. We’re crushing it with brunch menus, self-absorption, and a childcare bill the size of a starter home.

Rome had lead in its pipes; we’ve got self-absorption and benign neglect in ours.

So yes, America may not go out with a bang or a whimper, but with a sponsored post: “This civilization was brought to you by Squarespace.”

We need to start making some babies people, or we will not recognize the future.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Associated Press. (2025, September 9). New Mexico to offer free childcare to all families, the first U.S. state to do so. AP News. https://apnews.com/article/87e3cea32daa398277751842ac9db471

Greenberg, M. (2019, March 15). The culture of narcissism, 40 and counting. Public Books. https://www.publicbooks.org/the-culture-of-narcissism-40-and-counting/

Johnson, K. M. (2025, September 3). Factors contributing to the demographic cliff: More U.S. women of childbearing age, but fewer have given birth. Carsey School of Public Policy, University of New Hampshire. https://scholars.unh.edu/carsey/561/

Kim, H. (2025, February 26). South Korea’s policy push springs life into world’s lowest birthrate. Reuters. https://www.reuters.com/world/asia-pacific/south-koreas-policy-push-springs-life-worlds-lowest-birthrate-rises-2025-02-26/

Lasch, C. (1979). The culture of narcissism: American life in an age of diminishing expectations. W. W. Norton & Company.

Le Monde. (2024, July 6). Sweden allows grandparents to take parental leave. Le Monde. https://www.lemonde.fr/en/economy/article/2024/07/06/sweden-allows-grandparents-to-take-parental-leave_6676873_19.html

McCurry, J. (2025, June 5). Japan records lowest number of births in more than a century as population fears grow. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/jun/05/japan-records-lowest-number-of-births-in-more-than-a-century-as-population-fears-grow

Partnership for Early Childhood Policy. (2021). Paid family leave and childcare. Prenatal-to-3 Policy Impact Center. https://pn3policy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/PN3PolicyImpactCenter_B004202102_PaidFamilyLeaveandChildCare.pdf

Pash, C. (2024, July 3). Australia expands paid parental leave to 26 weeks. TIME Magazine. https://time.com/6957894/australia-paid-parental-leave-six-months-oecd-average/

Pew Research Center. (2024, October 25). 5 facts about child care costs in the U.S. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/10/25/5-facts-about-child-care-costs-in-the-us/

Reuters. (2025a, July 29). Spain’s new parental leave gives fathers one of Europe’s most generous allowances. Reuters. https://www.reuters.com/world/spains-new-parental-leave-gives-fathers-one-europes-most-generous-allowances-2025-07-29/

U.S. Department of Labor. (2024, November 19). New data: Childcare costs remain an almost prohibitive expense. DOL Blog. https://blog.dol.gov/2024/11/19/new-data-childcare-costs-remain-an-almost-prohibitive-expense