Why Many Couples Aren’t Having Sex: New Research Identifies Exhaustion as the Leading Factor
Friday, January 30, 2026
Couples Aren’t Having Sex Because They’re Exhausted, New Study Finds
A recent population survey finds that exhaustion is the most commonly reported reason couples have infrequent sex, outweighing conflict, dissatisfaction, or loss of attraction.
Recent survey research examining sexual frequency among couples finds that exhaustion is the most commonly cited reason for infrequent sex, surpassing explanations related to relationship dissatisfaction, conflict, or loss of attraction.
Approximately one quarter of couples report having sex once a month or less, yet many of these couples still describe their relationships as satisfying.
The findings suggest that low sexual frequency is more strongly associated with physical and mental fatigue than with relational breakdown.
Sexual Frequency Patterns Observed in the Survey
The study reports that roughly 25 percent of couples engage in sexual activity once a month or less. When asked to identify reasons for this frequency, respondents most often selected explanations related to tiredness and low energy, rather than relational or emotional difficulties.
This pattern indicates that reduced sexual activity is common even among couples who do not describe their relationships as distressed.
Exhaustion as the Dominant Self-Reported Factor
Participants were presented with a range of possible explanations for infrequent sex. The most frequently endorsed reasons included:
feeling too tired.
lacking energy at the end of the day.
being physically or mentally exhausted.
By contrast, reasons such as loss of attraction, unresolved conflict, or emotional distance were reported at significantly lower rates.
From a research standpoint, this positions exhaustion as a primary limiting condition, not a secondary or incidental factor.
Relationship Satisfaction and Sexual Frequency Were Not Synonymous
A key finding is that low sexual frequency did not reliably correspond with low relationship satisfaction.
Many couples reporting infrequent sex still rated their relationships positively.
This challenges a common assumption in both popular and academic discourse that declining sexual activity necessarily signals relational deterioration. In this dataset, sexual frequency and relationship satisfaction were only weakly linked.
What the Data Supports—and What It Does Not
The study does not claim that exhaustion is the sole cause of reduced sexual activity, nor does it argue that relational factors are irrelevant.
Its contribution is narrower and evidence-based:
Among commonly cited explanations for infrequent sex, fatigue emerges as the most prevalent self-reported factor.
Reduced sexual frequency can occur without corresponding declines in relationship satisfaction.
These findings support a reframing of low sexual activity as a phenomenon that may reflect capacity constraints rather than relational disengagement.
FAQ
Is exhaustion really the main reason couples report having less sex?
According to the survey, exhaustion was the most frequently cited reason for infrequent sex, reported more often than conflict, dissatisfaction, or loss of attraction.
Does having less sex mean a couple is unhappy?
Not necessarily. The study found that many couples with low sexual frequency still reported high relationship satisfaction.
How often did couples report having sex in the study?
Approximately one quarter of couples reported having sex once a month or less.
Did the study examine desire or attraction directly?
The survey focused on self-reported reasons for sexual frequency. Loss of attraction was included as an option but was endorsed less frequently than exhaustion.
Is this finding consistent with earlier research?
Previous population studies have also identified fatigue as a commonly reported barrier to sexual activity, suggesting continuity rather than contradiction.
Final thoughts
The survey data supports a straightforward conclusion:
many couples report having less sex primarily because they are exhausted, not because their relationships are failing.
As a research finding, this reframes low sexual frequency as a predictable outcome of sustained physical and mental fatigue, rather than an automatic indicator of emotional or relational dysfunction.
Taken at face value, the findings are almost disappointingly ordinary.
Couples are not abstaining from sex because their relationships have collapsed, their attraction has evaporated, or intimacy has become unintelligible.
They are tired.
The study identifies exhaustion—plain, unglamorous, biologically unsurprising exhaustion—as the most frequently reported constraint on sexual activity.
From a research standpoint, this matters because it resists dramatic interpretation.
Low sexual frequency, in this sample, is not evidence of relational failure but of finite human capacity.
Life partners, it turns out, still have bodies. And those bodies stop cooperating when pushed too hard for too long.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed
REFERENCES:
Talker Research. (2026, January). One in four couples report having sex once a month or less, with exhaustion cited as the top reason. StudyFinds.
https://studyfinds.org/1-in-4-couples-make-love-once-a-month-less/
Optional secondary media reference:
D’Alessandro, A. (2026, January 29). Quarter of American couples have sex once a month or less, survey finds. New York Post.
https://nypost.com/2026/01/29/lifestyle/25-of-american-couples-have-sex-once-a-month-or-less-new-survey-reveals/