What If the Narcissists at Work Are Actually Doing Fine?
Friday, June 19, 2026 6;40 am.
When Being Impressive Isn't the Same as Being Well
New research suggests narcissistic employees may report greater psychological well-being than their coworkers.
The finding raises uncomfortable questions about what workplaces reward—and what human beings actually need.
Everyone knows this person.
They arrive ten minutes late carrying a coffee the size of a baptismal font and immediately begin explaining what everyone else should have done differently.
By lunch, they have interrupted three colleagues, volunteered for a highly visible initiative they may or may not complete, and described themselves as "results-oriented" with the confidence of someone announcing the discovery of gravity.
They also appear to be doing just fine.
Meanwhile, the dependable souls—the ones who prepared for the meeting, remembered everyone's birthdays, stayed late to fix the presentation, and apologized before asking perfectly reasonable questions—are Googling, Can stress cause eyelid twitching?
It hardly seems fair.
According to a recent study published in Acta Psychologica, it may also be true.
Researchers studying industrial management employees in Assam, India found that workers with higher narcissistic traits reported greater psychological well-being. Emotional intelligence appeared to explain part of this relationship.
Psychopathy predicted the opposite: poorer emotional intelligence and lower well-being.
If that finding makes you skeptical, welcome.
Pull up a chair.
The Strange Finding
The surprising result was not that narcissistic employees advanced more quickly or received more praise.
It was that they described themselves as flourishing.
Compared with colleagues higher in psychopathic traits, workers with more narcissistic characteristics reported greater purpose, self-acceptance, and psychological well-being. Emotional intelligence appeared to explain part of that relationship.
In other words, the folks most likely to tell you they were doing wonderfully may actually believe it.
Psychopathy followed a more familiar script.
Employees higher in psychopathic traits reported lower emotional intelligence and poorer well-being. Impulsivity, detachment, and difficulty regulating emotions tend to undermine the very relationships through which people find meaning and support.
Machiavellianism proved less dramatic.
Cynical and strategic employees initially appeared somewhat worse off, but the effect faded once other variables were considered.
Being calculating may help someone navigate office politics.
It did not appear to nourish the soul.
When Institutions Reward the Wrong Things
Labor studies has long understood something psychology occasionally rediscovers with surprise:
Institutions reward what institutions need.
Not necessarily what communities cherish.
Factories rewarded punctuality.
Bureaucracies rewarded compliance.
Today's organizations often reward confidence, visibility, strategic self-promotion, and the ability to project certainty in uncertain times.
Notice what rarely appears on the list.
Humility.
Gentleness.
Curiosity.
The willingness to say, "I don't know."
Modern workplaces insist they value collaboration and authenticity.
Then they promote the person who speaks first, markets themselves best, and never appears burdened by self-doubt.
This is not hypocrisy so much as institutional gravity.
Organizations seek efficiency.
Human beings seek belonging.
The two are related.
They are not the same.
The Performance of Flourishing
We have become increasingly adept at performing flourishing.
We curate competence.
Broadcast confidence.
Translate exhaustion into productivity.
Rebrand anxiety as dedication.
We know how to look well long before we learn how to be well.
We mistake confidence for resilience.
Busyness for purpose.
Visibility for leadership.
Emotional fluency for compassion.
Admiration for love.
The performance of flourishing has become easier to recognize than flourishing itself.
The colleague who never hesitates appears secure.
The person who pauses to reflect appears uncertain.
The one who asks questions can seem less capable than the one who confidently supplies answers.
Confidence and competence have always maintained a complicated relationship.
One often borrows the other's wardrobe.
Emotional Intelligence Without Compassion
This may be the study's most unsettling implication.
For years, emotional intelligence has been treated as evidence of goodness.
The emotionally intelligent colleague notices tension.
Offers reassurance.
Reads the room.
Brings the casserole.
Sometimes.
But emotional intelligence is not morality.
It is fluency.
It tells us how accurately someone reads emotional weather.
It tells us very little about what they intend to do with the forecast.
One person notices fear and offers comfort.
Another notices fear and exploits it.
One recognizes loneliness and extends invitation.
Another recognizes loneliness and sells certainty.
The skill is identical.
The morality is not.
Understanding emotions and valuing people are separate achievements.
Marriage therapists cannot afford to forget this.
Neither should organizations.
The Therapist's Paradox
After years of sitting with couples in distress, one observation becomes difficult to ignore.
The traits that help someone attract admiration can sometimes also interfere with receiving love.
You can impress people without trusting them.
Lead teams without allowing influence.
Command attention without creating safety.
Appear successful while remaining profoundly lonely.
Admiration says:
"Notice me."
Love says:
"Know me."
One can survive on admiration for quite some time.
Human flourishing requires something more nourishing.
The Familial Self and the Exceptional Self
One of the central tensions of modern life concerns identity itself.
The familial self understands that the "we" transcends the "I."
Identity emerges through relationship.
We become ourselves through mutual influence, obligation, affection, sacrifice, and care.
Narcissism offers a competing vision.
The self becomes a project.
Achievement becomes proof.
Admiration becomes nourishment.
One orientation asks:
"Who belongs with me?"
The other asks:
"Who notices me?"
Entire families organize themselves around these questions.
Entire organizations do as well.
One produces communities.
The other produces audiences.
What C.S. Lewis Understood About Humility
C.S. Lewis famously wrote:
"Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less."
It is one of those observations that appears simple until you attempt to practice it.
Humility is not self-erasure.
It is freedom from constant self-reference.
The opposite of humility is not confidence.
It is preoccupation.
An endless returning of attention to the self.
How am I doing?
How am I perceived?
Am I winning?
Am I admired?
Humility frees us from becoming both actor and audience in our own lives.
The humble person can attend to others because they are not endlessly monitoring their own reflection.
Lewis gently reminds us that significance and goodness are not synonyms.
Neither are admiration and love.
The Workers I Worry About Most
Ironically, the employees who concern me are rarely the grandiose ones.
They are the reliable ones.
The emotional shock absorbers.
The colleagues who notice who has stopped talking.
The workers who reread emails five times before pressing send.
Who apologize before speaking.
Who organize the meal train.
Who stay late because someone has to.
Who mistake vigilance for virtue.
Institutions call them dedicated.
Families call them dependable.
Therapists eventually call them exhausted.
Labor studies teaches us that institutions often consume the goodwill of reliable workers.
Family therapy teaches us that relationships can do the same.
Without boundaries, conscientious souls become emotional utilities everyone assumes will continue running indefinitely.
Until they don't.
Burnout is often what happens when devotion forgets to include the self.
The Distance Between Admiration and Love
Perhaps the deepest question raised by this study is not whether narcissists are happier.
Perhaps it is this:
What kind of culture leaves so many ordinary souls believing that being noticed matters more than being known?
We have become increasingly skilled at teaching people how to succeed in organizations while remaining strangely uncertain about how to belong to one another.
Children learn branding before friendship.
Employees learn networking before trust.
Couples learn conflict management before mutual delight.
We know how to optimize performance.
We have forgotten how to cultivate affection.
Institutions often trade in admiration.
Human beings ultimately require belonging.
What Makes a Life Well Lived?
This study does not prove that narcissists flourish.
It demonstrates that some narcissistic workers report feeling remarkably well.
Those are not identical claims.
More importantly, it invites us to reconsider what we celebrate.
Confidence is not character.
Charm is not conscience.
Emotional intelligence is not compassion.
Being admired is not the same as being loved.
Appearing successful is not identical to living well.
Labor studies can tell us what institutions reward.
Marriage and family therapy can tell us what human beings require.
The widening distance between those two truths may explain much of modern exhaustion.
We applaud the impressive and depend upon the dependable.
The applause goes one direction.
The gratitude ought to go another.
Long after the quarterly reports have been archived and the strategic plans forgotten, most of us will remember something simpler.
Who covered the shift.
Who brought the casserole.
Who stayed.
Who repaired.
Who loved us in ways no performance metric could capture.
In the end, a well-lived life may have less to do with being exceptional and more to do with becoming someone in whose presence other people can rest.
Be Well. Stay Kind. And Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Khatoniyar, S., & Borooah, I. P. (2026). The dark triad and psychological well-being: Mediating role of emotional intelligence. Acta Psychologica.