The Rise of Platonic Intimacy Besties
Sunday, June 1, 2025.
Once upon a time, friendship was what you settled for when romance didn’t show up.
Now, it's a whole different story.
Gen Z, fueled by dating fatigue and a suspicious lack of interest in sexual jealousy, has begun to stage a quiet, meme-driven revolt against romantic primacy.
Enter the Platonic Life Partner (PLP): your soulmate who won’t try to kiss you, sue you for half your stuff, or make you watch Marvel movies.
It begins innocently: a lease shared, a Costco membership split, a matching tattoo to mark your third annual Friendiversary.
But it quickly becomes clear that what we’re witnessing is not just friendship as usual.
These bonds carry the emotional exclusivity and daily co-regulation usually reserved for monogamous lovers—only without the sex, the pressure, or the awkward Valentine's Day expectations.
A Brief Tour Through the Sociology of an Intriguing, New Paradigm of Love
Some of these PLPs have paperwork: power of attorney, joint custody of a rescue dog, shared wills. Others are legally informal but emotionally sacred—complete with Sunday morning rituals, joint therapy sessions, and anniversary dinners that would confuse a wedding planner.
Terms like "platonic primary," "anchor partner," and the delightfully medieval "soul friend" now pepper TikTok captions and trauma-informed group chats. These people are rewriting the emotional Constitution.
Why Now?
Because romance is exhausting.
Because dating apps feel like glorified CAPTCHA tests for horniness.
Because neurodivergent folks, trauma survivors, and divorce veterans deserve stable companionship without performance anxiety.
And because, let’s face it, capitalism doesn’t really care who you love—it just wants you to fill out the benefits paperwork correctly. PLPs are hacking the system: emotional security without legal marriage, shared life without sexual tension.
Meme Culture:
PLP TikToks include:
Side-by-side dental cleanings
Budget spreadsheets titled "Our Soft Retirement Plan"
The hashtag #SoulFriendNotBoyfriend
One user writes, "She knows where my will is, my trauma triggers, and how I take my coffee. What more could a man do for me, really?"
Philosophical Rant Disguised as a Question:
If friendship becomes the most durable and honest form of love, what happens to marriage?
Is this the final undoing of the Enlightenment fantasy of two becoming one?
Or just another adaptive trick from a generation who read too much bell hooks and not enough Nicholas Sparks?
What if the most stable unit of civilization turns out to be two people who refuse to kiss but share a password manager?
Final thoughts
In a world plagued by commitment-phobia, porn brain, and algorithmic loneliness, PLPs are oddly hopeful.
They say: I will not touch you, but I will promptly pick you up from the airport.
I will know the name of your childhood bully, and the brand of your deodorant. I will also fight for you at CVS.
That’s not friendship as a consolation prize. Perhaps this is a new paradigm for love, just without the kissy bits?
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES
Coontz, S. (2005). Marriage, a history: How love conquered marriage. Viking.
DePaulo, B. (2017). Singled out: How singles are stereotyped, stigmatized, and ignored, and still live happily ever after. St. Martin’s Griffin.
Fehr, B. (2004). Intimacy expectations in same-sex friendships: A prototype interaction-pattern model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 86(2), 265–284. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.86.2.265
Hall, J. A. (2021). Friendship quality and well-being: The role of relationships in mental health. Personal Relationships, 28(3), 487–504. https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12371
Pew Research Center. (2023). Young adults and emotional intimacy: A changing landscape. https://www.pewresearch.org