The Girlboss Is Dead, Long Live the Stay-at-Home Girlfriend? A Trend That’s Not as Promising as It Seems
Monday, October 14, 2024.
The Girlboss Fades, as the Stay-at-Home Girlfriend Rises. Remember the girlboss?
She owned her hustle, multitasked like a pro, and juggled her career with endless Zoom calls.
But like a trendy sourdough starter that lost its appeal, the girlboss vibe is fading into the cultural background.
Enter the new queen of leisurely living: the stay-at-home girlfriend (SAHG).
This rising trend among Gen Z (born 1997–2012) isn’t about professional ambition or homemaking with purpose—it’s about Instagrammable moments, Pilates sessions, and a life filled with self-care routines.
But is this trend just another TikTok fantasy, or is there something deeper beneath the surface?
Spoiler alert: It may look glamorous, but the stay-at-home girlfriend lifestyle lacks long-term fulfillment, financial stability, and the commitment that marriage provides.
What Is a Stay-at-Home Girlfriend? The Trend Explained
In case you haven’t scrolled through TikTok recently, let’s break down the stay-at-home girlfriend phenomenon.
SAHGs are trading corporate power suits for Lululemon leggings and choosing a life that looks more like a curated wellness retreat than a career path.
These women often spend their days making green smoothies, prepping breakfast for their boyfriends, attending boutique Pilates classes, and engaging in endless self-care rituals.
Think skincare routines, sunset walks, and getting ready for “date night” as the day’s climax.
It’s a life that screams luxury and leisure, but it comes with a big caveat—there’s no ring on that green juice-sipping hand.
Most stay-at-home girlfriends are in long-term relationships without the security of marriage, which brings up some important questions: What happens if the relationship ends? How financially stable are these women? And, more importantly, is this lifestyle setting women up for long-term success or failure?
The Glamour vs. Reality: The Financial Risks of Being a Stay-at-Home Girlfriend
On the surface, being a stay-at-home girlfriend might seem like a practical arrangement. Why pay rent when you can live rent-free and enjoy the perks of a shared lifestyle?
With housing costs skyrocketing—currently seven times the median household income—opting for a SAHG life might feel like a no-brainer. But while it may offer short-term convenience, the long-term risks are glaring.
A recent Wall Street Journal article profiled several stay-at-home girlfriends, raising concerns about their financial future.
One woman was an hourly hotel employee before becoming a SAHG, while others worked as content creators.
Their new roles might provide leisure, but they lack financial security. Only one woman had discussed marriage with her partner, leaving the others at risk of financial instability if the relationship ends. Without legal protections, what happens when the fairy tale fades?
Stay-at-Home Girlfriend vs. Traditional Housewife: A Critical Difference
Let’s be clear: the stay-at-home girlfriend is not the same as the stay-at-home wife.
A traditional stay-at-home wife is marinaded in minutia. The invisible load abides. She often manages the household, raises children, and supports her spouse in building a life together. The SAHG, on the other hand, is focused on self-care, social media, and leisure, without the responsibilities of marriage or children.
Many SAHGs even admit to hiring housekeepers, making the lifestyle more about image than substance.
It’s like playing house, but without the long-term investment of actually building a home. As Tolstoy famously said in Anna Karenina, “The more he did nothing, the less time he had to do anything.” In this case, replace “he” with “she,” and you have the SAHG dilemma in a nutshell.
Why Cohabitation Isn’t a Substitute for Marriage: The Risks of “Sliding vs. Deciding”
One of the biggest misconceptions about cohabitation (including stay-at-home girlfriend arrangements) is that it’s a good way to “test-drive” marriage.
But according to research from the Institute for Family Studies, cohabitation before marriage actually increases the risk of divorce.
Psychologist Scott Stanley calls this phenomenon “sliding vs. deciding.” Instead of making a conscious decision to commit, couples slide into cohabitation out of convenience, often without fully thinking through the long-term consequences.
Unfortunately, this “sliding” mindset leads to higher breakup and divorce rates, even after couples marry.
Living together without the commitment of marriage doesn’t provide the same level of stability or emotional investment.
In fact, couples who cohabit before marriage are more likely to divorce than those who don’t (34% vs. 23%). The stay-at-home girlfriend lifestyle may seem appealing, but it lacks the foundation needed for long-term relationship success.
The Stay-at-Home Girlfriend: Glamorous but Unfulfilling?
At first glance, the stay-at-home girlfriend lifestyle looks like the ultimate dream—free rent, endless self-care, and plenty of leisure time. But beneath the surface, it’s a life without long-term goals, financial independence, or emotional security.
The SAHG trend reflects a larger cultural shift away from the commitment and partnership that marriage provides. Instead of building something meaningful with a spouse, these women are choosing temporary comfort over lasting fulfillment.
Conclusion: Marriage vs. Cohabitation—Why the SAHG Trend Falls Short
In the end, the stay-at-home girlfriend lifestyle can’t replace the deeper connection and commitment that marriage offers.
While it may seem relaxed and glamorous for now, it lacks the long-term security, emotional depth, and shared purpose that come with building a life together through marriage.
As the SAHG trend continues to rise, it’s important to encourage young women (and men) to consider the bigger picture—because green smoothies and Pilates sessions won’t provide the stability and meaning that a committed partnership can.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Institute for Family Studies. (n.d.). Cohabitation and divorce. https://ifstudies.org/cohabitation-and-divorce
Pew Research Center. (2020). Evangelicals and views on cohabitation. https://www.pewresearch.org