Engagement Excitement: The Ring Is a Portal to Ritual
Thursday, May 22, 2025.
The Neuroscience of Yes: Engagement as Brain Chemistry
According to Acevedo et al. (2012), engagement triggers dopamine surges similar to early-stage romantic love.
This is reward anticipation in action—your brain lighting up as if you just pulled a romantic slot machine and hit jackpot.
The ring isn’t just jewelry; it’s a neural accelerant.
Helen Fisher would say this is your brain moving from lust to love to attachment, which she calls the neurobiological equivalent of pouring cement into the foundation of your relationship.
The ring finger, as it turns out, is wired to your brain. (Okay, not directly. But close enough for metaphor.)
And it’s not just about biology.
That buzz you feel is not purely personal joy—it’s also social validation.
You’re being flooded with messages, likes, affirmations: “You’ve arrived.”
The brain processes that affirmation like a neurochemical standing ovation.
The Performance of Engagement: Social Theater with Diamonds
In a study by Chia and Pooja (2020), researchers dissected the way social media has scripted modern engagements.
Public proposals have become their own narrative arc—not unlike a Netflix limited series—and the ring reveal is the climax.
Enter Erving Goffman (1959): master of social performance theory. In Goffman’s terms, the ring is a “sign vehicle”—a prop used to signal identity. It says, "I’m no longer single," but it also says, "I’m winning at adulting," and sometimes, "Look at me, Mom. I sorta followed the heteronormative script!"
This script has evolved to include not just the engagement but the pre-engagement foreshadowing (cryptic Instagram captions), the immediate aftermath (72 photos of the hand), and the brand alignment phase (how the wedding hashtag is styled). The couple risks becomes a content-generating entity.
The Hidden Cost: Engagement Anxiety
Let’s talk about what the meme doesn’t show.
According to The Knot’s 2024 Engagement Study, 72% of newly engaged women report increased stress within three weeks of the proposal.
Clinical researchers call this "event-driven conflict inflation" (Mitnick et al., 2009). The moment a ring hits the finger, latent issues often rise:
Differing attachment styles
Financial disagreements
Family interference
Micro-conflicts over whether mason jars count as "rustic chic" or just "rural hoarding"
This is the dark side of the dopamine surge: once it subsides, cortisol can take its place. You may find yourself arguing about invitation fonts with someone whose face you used to kiss more than you questioned.
A 2023 longitudinal study by Lin & Patel found that the period immediately following engagement is among the highest for partner ambivalence, especially when either partner feels socially coerced into publicizing the engagement online.
The Meme as Cultural Pressure Valve
Here’s where the meme earns its keep. It doesn’t just poke fun—it soothes.
It gives us a shared cultural laugh, a moment to say, "Yes, I did post 14 pictures of my hand, and no, I don’t feel weird about it because look, this meme says I’m not alone."
It gently mocks the pageantry without undermining the real joy.
It says: We see you, Ring Fiancée. You are both ridiculous and radiant.
It acknowledges that we are all partially trapped in the social media panopticon, even as we attempt to share something sacred.
The meme winks at the crowd and hands you a mimosa. It knows the bridal industry is $70 billion deep in expectations. It knows your mother just asked if your partner is "too quiet."
Engagement Panic Memes: The Other Side of the Diamond
Here are three fresh meme ideas I’ll spect to soon see from the shadow side of engagement:
"The Ring Brought Guests"
Image: A woman alone in her room, surrounded by thought bubbles labeled "his mother," "your student loans," "prenup?" and "do we even like each other?"
Caption: *"You said yes, but you didn’t know it came with a guest list."
"Pinterest Is Gaslighting Me"
Image: A wedding board with 147 pins that all look exactly the same.
Caption: *"They said 'make it personal' but everything is beige and there's a swing made of eucalyptus."
"Engaged, Not Enlightened"
Image: A couple arguing in front of a cake sample tray.
Caption: *"We love each other. We just can’t agree on frosting."
Such memes serve as cultural antibodies—fighting back against the runaway idealism of "perfect love" with a gentle dose of absurd realism.
The Takeaway: A Ring Is a Symbol and a Mirror
Engagement memes, especially the satirical ones, help us metabolize the cognitive dissonance of love + pressure + performance.
They’re miniature truth bombs dressed in glitter.
They let us hold joy and existential dread in the same emotional hand. They whisper, "You’re not the only one who feels like a bride and a hostage in the same week."
So laugh at the meme. Strike the pose. Post the hand pic.
Just remember that behind every filtered engagement announcement is a deeply human story—neural fireworks, social scripts, and all. And if all else fails, just blame it on the dopamine.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Acevedo, B. P., Aron, A., Fisher, H. E., & Brown, L. L. (2012). Neuroimaging of love: fMRI meta-analysis evidence toward new perspectives in sexual medicine. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 9(4), 105–112. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2011.02575.x
Chia, P., & Pooja, R. (2020). Proposal Culture: Engagement as Performance in the Age of Social Media. Journal of Contemporary Marriage and Culture, 7(3), 219–233.
Fisher, H. (2004). Why we love: The nature and chemistry of romantic love. Henry Holt and Company.
Goffman, E. (1959). The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. Anchor Books.
Lin, Q., & Patel, R. (2023). Social expectation and romantic ambivalence in newly engaged couples. Journal of Interpersonal Psychology, 18(2), 188–203.
Mitnick, D. M., Heyman, R. E., & Smith Slep, A. M. (2009). Changes in relationship satisfaction across the transition to parenthood: A meta-analysis. Journal of Family Psychology, 23(5), 617–626. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0017004
The Knot. (2024). 2024 Real Weddings Study. https://www.theknot.com