Alienation of Affection Laws: What “Homewrecker” Statutes Really Protect—and Who They May Be For
Friday, January 16, 2026.
Most folks assume infidelity is a private moral failure—painful, destabilizing, but ultimately beyond the reach of the law.
That assumption is wrong in seven U.S. states.
In Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota, and Utah, engaging in an affair with a married person can expose the third party to serious legal and financial liability under what are known as Alienation of Affection statutes—often called “homewrecker laws.”
These laws are not symbolic. They are enforceable. And in some cases, they are extraordinarily expensive.
What Is Alienation of Affection?
Alienation of Affection is a civil tort that allows a married person to sue a third party for intentionally interfering with the marital relationship.
Crucially, proof of sexual intercourse is not required. Emotional interference alone may be sufficient.
Under these statutes, a plaintiff may sue:
An affair partner.
Or any third party whose deliberate conduct substantially disrupted an existing marriage.
Although affair partners are the most common defendants, lawsuits have occasionally targeted family members, religious counselors, and even therapists.
As archaic as these laws may sound, courts in the remaining jurisdictions continue to treat them seriously.
Do These Laws Treat Women as Property?
This criticism is not unfounded.
Alienation of Affection originates in English common law, where wives were legally regarded as a husband’s property. A man could sue for the “loss” of his wife much as he could sue for the theft of livestock.
Modern statutes are gender-neutral, but their intellectual lineage remains visible.
Legal scholars classify Alienation of Affection as a “heart balm” tort—a now-mostly-abolished category of civil actions addressing romantic injury. Related torts once included:
Breach of Promise (for broken engagements).
Criminal Conversation (a euphemism for adultery).
Nearly all such causes of action have been repealed. Alienation of Affection persists in only a handful of states.
What Must Be Proven to Win an Alienation of Affection Case?
These cases are harder to prove than many assume.
To prevail, the plaintiff must establish all three of the following elements:
That genuine love and affection existed within the marriage.
That the defendant intentionally alienated that affection.
That the defendant’s malicious conduct was a controlling cause of the marital breakdown.
In other words, the marriage must be shown to have been meaningfully intact before the third party’s involvement.
This requirement alone defeats many claims.
Are These Laws Still Actively Used?
Yes—and far more often than popular culture acknowledges.
Attorney Cynthia Mills has reported arguing more than 30 Alienation of Affection cases over her career and handling multiple cases concurrently in recent years.
The financial stakes can be staggering:
One jury awarded $5.9 million to an aggrieved spouse.
Another defendant was ordered to pay $8.8 million, including $2.2 million in compensatory damages and the remainder in punitive damages.
These verdicts are not merely symbolic. They are intended to punish deliberate marital interference.
Defenses and Legal Limits
Alienation of Affection statutes are not without guardrails.
Common limitations include:
No cause of action if spouses were already separated with intent to permanently dissolve the marriage.
A typical three-year statute of limitations from the defendant’s last alleged act.
Claims may be brought only against natural persons, not corporations.
That said, courts have grappled with edge cases involving workplace affairs. In Smith v. Lee (2007), a federal court in North Carolina acknowledged unresolved questions regarding employer liability for affairs conducted during business travel.
The Question We Avoid: What About the Children?
Modern sensibilities frame infidelity as a private adult matter. The law increasingly follows suit, intervening only when domestic violence or direct child maltreatment is alleged.
But research complicates this view.
Studies suggest that children who are aware of parental infidelity are:
More likely to experience chronic trust disruptions.
At higher risk for anxious or avoidant attachment.
Significantly more likely to engage in infidelity themselves as adults.
Weiser and Weigel (2017) found that parental infidelity is associated with offspring’s increased likelihood of engaging in infidelity, indicating an intergenerational transmission of relational instability.
Children do not simply “bounce back” from betrayal inside the family system. Whether six or twenty-six, they internalize the rupture as a lesson about trust, commitment, and emotional safety.
Infidelity does not end at the affair. It becomes a legacy.
Are Alienation of Affection Laws Really About Spouses—or About Children?
This is where the conversation becomes uncomfortable.
If parental infidelity reliably increases long-term intimacy impairment in children, then Alienation of Affection laws may be doing something we rarely acknowledge: protecting family systems indirectly, not just wounded spouses.
Perhaps these laws reflect an older intuition that intact families have social value—and that deliberate interference causes harm beyond two consenting adults.
So which injury matters more?
The alienation of a spouse?
Or the long-term relational impairment of a child?
And how should modern society reconcile child-development research with the belief that the state should remain neutral about adult sexual behavior?
FAQ: Alienation of Affection Laws
What states still recognize Alienation of Affection?
Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota, and Utah.
Is sex required to prove Alienation of Affection?
No. Emotional interference alone may suffice.
Can a therapist be sued under Alienation of Affection laws?
In rare cases, yes—if intentional interference with the marriage is alleged.
Are these laws gender-neutral?
Yes, though they originate in gendered English common law.
Do children factor into Alienation of Affection cases?
Legally, rarely. But developmentally, according to research, the impact is often substantial.
Therapist’s Note
Infidelity is not only a breach of trust between partners—it is a systemic rupture that often leaves children carrying confusion, hypervigilance, and long-term attachment injuries.
If your family is navigating the aftermath of an affair—or quietly living with its legacy—structured, research-informed couples therapy can help interrupt the transmission of betrayal across generations. This is the work I do.
You do not have to pass this forward.
Final Thoughts
Alienation of Affection laws feel outdated because they are.
But they also raise a question we have not fully answered:
What does society owe children when adult desire destabilizes the family system?
Until we are willing to confront that question directly, these “quaint” laws may continue to surface—awkward, controversial, and quietly expensive.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Weiser, D. A., & Weigel, D. J. (2017). Investigating intergenerational infidelity. Personal Relationships, 24(4), 843–859. https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12207