The Biggest Problem With Masturbation Research Has Nothing to Do With Sex

Wednesday, August 5, 2026.

Sex Researchers, bless their hearts, have spent decades asking millions of folks one simple question.

"Do you masturbate?"

Which sounds perfectly reasonable.

Until you realize it's about as scientifically rigorous as asking,

"Do you exercise?"

One person counts chasing a toddler through Target.

Another trains for an Ironman.

A third considers aggressively opening a pickle jar "upper body."

Congratulations.

You haven't measured exercise.

You've measured everyone's private relationship with the English language.

Sex researchers have been wrestling with exactly this problem for generations.

When researchers ask whether someone masturbates, participants quietly translate the question into whatever definition makes sense to them.

Some think it means touching their genitals.

Others include sex toys.

Others include anal stimulation.

Some count erotic fantasy.

Others don't think it counts unless there's an orgasm involved.

Imagine trying to measure coffee consumption if half your participants counted espresso and the other half insisted lattes were basically soup.

That's the state of masturbation research.

And it may explain why decades of studies often disagree about whether masturbation improves mental health, predicts relationship satisfaction, relieves stress, enhances intimacy, or signals relationship distress.

If researchers aren't measuring the same behavior, they're not really studying the same thing.

Finally, Someone Asked Better Questions

A new study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy decided to stop pretending everyone shared the same definition.

Instead of asking one giant catch-all question, researchers surveyed more than 3,400 American adults about nine different ways people intentionally create sexual arousal.

That's a surprisingly radical idea.

Scientists call this operationalizing a definition.

The rest of us call it asking better questions.

Once researchers separated the behaviors, the picture became much richer.

Traditional solo masturbation remained common.

So did sexual fantasy.

Erotic media.

Mutual self-touch during partnered sex.

Remote sexual interactions.

And then came the finding that launched a thousand embarrassed Google searches.

Meet Syntribation

The least familiar word in the paper is syntribation.

It sounds less like a sexual practice than a medication your insurance refuses to cover.

Syntribation is the deliberate use of pelvic, abdominal, or thigh muscle contractions to create sexual arousal—and sometimes orgasm—without direct genital stimulation.

If you're thinking,

"Surely almost nobody does this."

Researchers had the same assumption.

It was wrong.

Roughly one in five women and one in seven men reported using syntribation during the previous month.

Even stranger, many of those same participants didn't consider it masturbation when answering broader survey questions.

That isn't just an amusing fact.

It's a methodological earthquake.

It means millions of people have been quietly engaging in a common form of sexual self-arousal while decades of research accidentally filed them under "does not masturbate."

Oops.

The Bigger Story

This is the part of the study I can't stop thinking about.

Not because of sex.

Because of language.

Researchers often imagine that words have fixed meanings.

Therapists know better.

Every week I watch intelligent couples spend an hour arguing over words like respect, support, honesty, commitment, and intimacy.

The argument usually isn't about values.

It's about definitions.

Psychologists aren't immune.

This paper reminds us that science doesn't become more accurate simply because it uses statistics.

It becomes more accurate when it asks better questions.

The older I get, the more convinced I become that progress—in therapy, in marriage, and in psychology—rarely begins with a brilliant answer.

It begins with the humility to admit we've been asking the wrong question.

That's true in the bedroom.

It's just as true around the kitchen table.

The Research

To untangle decades of confusion, researchers surveyed 3,423 adults from across the United States. But instead of asking one hopelessly vague question—"Do you masturbate?"—they divided sexual self-arousal into nine distinct behaviors occurring alone, with a partner, or in group settings.

It's one of those ideas that's so sensible you immediately wonder why psychology waited until 2026 to try it.

The results showed that traditional solo masturbation remains common, particularly among men. But that wasn't the surprise.

Many participants reported intentionally becoming sexually aroused without ever touching their genitals.

Some relied on fantasy.

Others used erotic books, videos, or other sexual media.

Some reported touching themselves while having sex with a partner.

Others engaged in mutual self-stimulation.

Still others described remote sexual experiences over the phone or internet.

Suddenly, what had always been treated as one behavior began looking more like an entire family of behaviors.

Which makes perfect sense.

We don't study food by asking whether people "eat."

We ask what they eat, when they eat, how often they eat, and why they eat.

Sex researchers have finally started treating sexual behavior with the same level of curiosity.

The Surprise Nobody Was Looking For

Then came the study's most unexpected finding.

The researchers asked participants about syntribation—a term so unfamiliar it sounds less like a sexual practice than a prescription medication advertised during the evening news.

Syntribation involves deliberately contracting the muscles of the pelvis, thighs, or abdomen to create sexual arousal—and sometimes orgasm—without direct genital touch.

What startled the researchers wasn't that the behavior exists.

Sex researchers have known about it since the Kinsey era.

What startled them was how common it turned out to be.

Roughly 20% of women and 15% of men reported practicing syntribation during the previous month.

Then came the twist.

Many of those same participants didn't consider it masturbation when answering broader survey questions.

Read that again.

For decades, researchers have been asking millions of people if they masturbate.

Meanwhile, millions of those same people have apparently been thinking,

"Well...not exactly."

That's how entire categories of human behavior disappear.

Not because people hide them.

Because researchers never thought to ask about them.

It's a reminder that science doesn't only miss things because people lie.

Sometimes it misses them because language quietly gets in the way.

The Bigger Story

The older I get, the less impressed I become by neat categories.

Researchers may love them.

But a good therapist learns to fear them.

One of the first things you discover sitting with couples is that life partners almost never argue about facts.

They argue about words.

Ask two partners what respect means.

Or support.

Or privacy.

Or my personal favorite, quality time.

You'd think they were discussing four different relationships.

The argument isn't usually about values.

It's about definitions.

That's exactly what happened here.

For decades, psychology has debated whether masturbation predicts happier relationships, greater sexual satisfaction, lower sexual satisfaction, emotional well-being, loneliness, compulsivity, or intimacy.

Reading the literature sometimes feels like watching tennis.

One study serves.

Another returns.

Nobody ever wins.

This paper quietly suggests we may have been keeping score in the wrong match.

If one participant is thinking about genital stimulation, another is thinking about fantasy, another is thinking about erotic media, and another doesn't count syntribation at all, they're not answering the same question.

They're simply checking different boxes while using the same word.

That's not a sex problem.

That's a science problem.

It also says something worth remembering outside the laboratory.

Human beings don't live inside dictionaries.

We live inside private definitions.

Every marriage develops its own language.

Every family invents its own vocabulary.

Every culture quietly changes the meaning of ordinary words.

That's why curiosity is so much more useful than certainty.

The moment we assume everyone means what we mean, we've stopped listening.

Researchers do it.

Couples do it.

Therapists occasionally do it too.

The best conversations begin the same way the best research does.

Not with an answer.

With a better question.

"Tell me, what that does that word means to you?"

It's astonishing how often that simple sentence changes everything.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is syntribation?

Syntribation is a form of sexual self-arousal that relies on deliberate contractions of the pelvic, thigh, or abdominal muscles rather than direct genital stimulation. Some people use it to become sexually aroused, while others can achieve orgasm without using their hands.

Is syntribation common?

Surprisingly, yes. In this national U.S. study, approximately 20% of women and 15% of men reported practicing syntribation during the previous month.

Many participants did not consider it to be masturbation when answering general survey questions, suggesting the behavior has been undercounted in previous research.

Why has so little been written about syntribation?

The behavior has been recognized since Alfred Kinsey's early research, but it has received relatively little scientific attention. One reason may be that traditional surveys ask broad questions about masturbation rather than specific questions about different methods of sexual self-arousal.

Does this study change the definition of masturbation?

Not exactly. Instead, it highlights that there is no universally shared definition.

It seems we interpret the word differently based on age, culture, personal beliefs, and life experience. The researchers argue that future studies should ask about specific behaviors rather than relying on a single umbrella term.

Why do researchers care how people define masturbation?

Because scientific conclusions are only as accurate as the questions researchers ask. If one participant thinks masturbation only includes genital touching while another includes fantasy, erotic media, or hands-free techniques, they aren't answering the same question. That makes it difficult to compare studies or understand how different behaviors relate to health, relationships, or well-being.

Can someone become sexually aroused without touching themselves?

Absolutely. This study found that many participants intentionally used fantasy, erotic media, or muscle contractions to create sexual arousal without direct physical stimulation. These findings challenge the common assumption that sexual arousal always begins with physical touch.

Does using fantasy or erotic media count as masturbation?

That depends on whom you ask—which is exactly the problem highlighted by this study. Many participants reported becoming sexually aroused through fantasy or erotic media but did not classify those experiences as masturbation. The researchers argue that future studies should measure these behaviors separately rather than assuming everyone uses the same definition.

What does this research mean for couples?

The study offers a broader lesson than simply describing sexual behavior. Partners often assume they share definitions of words like intimacy, desire, cheating, or sexual satisfaction when they actually mean very different things. Clarifying those definitions can prevent unnecessary misunderstandings and lead to more productive conversations about sex and relationships.

What are the clinical implications of this study?

For therapists and sex educators, the findings are a reminder to ask more specific questions. Rather than assuming clients share the same vocabulary, clinicians may gain more useful information by exploring exactly how someone experiences sexual desire, arousal, and self-stimulation.

What's the biggest takeaway from this research?

The most important finding isn't that syntribation is common.

It's that decades of sex research may have been comparing studies that weren't actually measuring the same behavior.

Sometimes the biggest scientific breakthrough isn't discovering something new—it's realizing you've been asking the wrong freaking question all along.

Why Work With Daniel?

One of the most common things I hear from couples is, "I thought we were talking about the same thing."

Usually, they aren't.

One partner says intimacy and means emotional closeness.

The other hears sex.

One says support and means encouragement.

The other hears advice.

One says trust and means transparency.

The other means reliability.

Words matter because relationships are built on them.

This study is a reminder that even researchers can spend decades talking past the people they're trying to understand. Couples do it every day.

My work isn't about deciding who's right.

It's about slowing the conversation down until both partners realize they're often answering different questions.

When that happens, conflict becomes curiosity.

And curiosity is almost always a better place to begin.

If you and your partner seem to keep having the same argument with different words, I'd be happy to help. Schedule a free introductory consultation to learn more.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

de Jong, D. C., Uhlich, M., Fischer, N., Ginn, C., Baker, A., Rahm-Knigge, R., Moore, M. L., Ford, J. V., Hoffmann, H., Coleman, E., & Gleason, N. (2026). The varieties of masturbatory experience: Prevalences in a U.S. national sample and recommendations for future investigations. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy.