Science-based couples therapy for twice-exceptional couples
Sunday, December 3, 2023.
Sooner or later, a couples therapist will have a situation in which one or both humans are twice-exceptional (2e).
What is a twice-exceptional human?
The phrase "twice-exceptional" is used to describe humans who not only enjoy exceptional intellectual gifts, they’ve also experience learning, developmental or relational challenges uncommon to unexceptional humans.
In other words, a twice-exceptional human has more than one neurotype.
For example, we used to erroneously believe that adult ADHD and Autism were mutually exclusive. Nowadays it’s being proposed that Neurodiversity and ADHD share a single genetic pathway.
In this blog post, I’ll explore the potential for science-based couples therapy, to meet what we ‘re learning about the specific needs of 2e humans and their intimate relationships.
How can we begin to understand Twice-Exceptionality (2e)?
Before delving into science-based couples therapy, it's crucial to grasp the nuances of what it means to be twice-exceptional.
These humans often display exceptional strengths and abilities in certain purviews, such as extreme cognitive fluidity, creativity, or profound and outstanding artistic gifts.
While technically, the term can refer to any 2 or more neurotypes, most commonly, the term refers to those who are intellectually gifted, and also ADHD, dyslexic, or neurodiverse. I’ll be discussing the idea of neurotypes more fully in an upcoming post.
In other words, 2e humans may also be challenged with learning disabilities, ADHD, neurodiversity, or other sorts of neuro-developmental differences. This duality may also tend to stress the communication dynamics between partners.
The Unique Dynamics of 2e Couples
Couples where one or both partners are twice-exceptional may face distinct challenges that require a thoughtful and nuanced therapeutic approach.
Not to make this initial discussion any more than necessary, it’s als possible to be a 3e or even a 4e. These humans are called multi-exceptional.
Research suggests that the intersection of giftedness and neurodiversity can influence communication styles, emotional regulation, and problem-solving strategies within the relationship. By understanding these dynamics, therapists can tailor interventions to enhance the well-being of both partners.
I’ll be unpacking these challenges in a series of upcoming posts.
Science-Based Couples Therapy: An Overview
Science-based couples therapy integrates empirical research and evidence-based practices to inform specific, goal-oriented therapeutic interventions.
Evidence-based couples therapy is expressed in several theoretical frameworks, such as, Integrated Behavioral Couples Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and Gottman Method Couples Therapy, to name the major schools of thought with solid research evidence behind them. Off-the-shelf interventions might be given a second look for inherent neurotypical bias.
Applying these approaches to 2e couples requires a sufficient understanding of the unique needs and strengths inherent in twice-exceptional life experience.
Addressing Communication Challenges
Communication breakdowns are common in any relationship, but they may be significantly exacerbated in 2e couples.
Research has shown that individuals with neurodivergent traits may process information differently, influencing and shaping communication patterns.
Science-based couples therapy can employ techniques to enhance communication, such as active listening, empathy-building exercises, and fostering open dialogue. However, I’ll be delving into the best practices for working with 2e couples in an upcoming post on concrete and clear communication.
Navigating Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation is a vital aspect of maintaining a healthy intimate bond.
For 2e couples, the intersection of giftedness and neurodiversity can lead to a series of heightened emotional exchanges.
Therapeutic interventions grounded in physiological noticing, improving emotional regulation, and managing triggers can contribute to a more emotionally attuned and resilient marriage. I can help with that.
Understanding Neurodivergent Perspectives
Science-based couples therapy encourages therapists to adopt a neurodiversity-informed perspective.
We’re currently experiencing a “catch-up” phase as couples therapists become increasingly aware of their need for more training to serve the needs of neurodiverse couples asking for help for their marriages and families.
As a community of practice, it behoves us to recognize and respect the neurodivergent traits of our clients, while avoiding neurotypical pitfall of pathologizing problematic differences.
By learning about neurodiversity, couples therapists can proffer a clinical environment that competently grasps the unusual strengths and challenges within a 2e relationship.
Tailoring Interventions to Individual Strengths
Given the varied strengths and challenges within a 2e couple, personalized interventions are essential.
Science-based couples therapy trains therapists to tailor strategies to each partner's specific needs, creating a customized roadmap for navigating the complexities of their 2e relationship.
Final thoughts…
The intersection of giftedness and neurodiversity presents a curious array of strengths and challenges for couples. It’s the job of a competent couples therapist to be well trained, and strength-based.
By embracing science-based approaches, therapists can provide tailored interventions that empower 2e couples to build resilient, fulfilling relationships.
If we can bring therapists up to speed on becoming Brain-Informed, we’ll have a community of practice ready to help.
Eventually, through increased understanding, communication enhancement, and a competence with the latest research on neurodiversity, science-based couples therapy will eventually become a beacon of support for couples navigating the unique dynamics of twice-exceptionality… but we ain’t there yet.
Because Neurotypes are often a family matter, I’m including some resource links that may also be helpful if you have twice-exceptional children as well.
I’ll also be discussing twice-exceptional families in the future, so stay tuned for more discussion.
Be well, stay kind, and Godspeed.
RESOURCES FOR TWICE-EXCEPTIONAL COUPLES:
Dr. Susan Baum: Co-director of the International Center for Talent Development and an expert in the field of twice-exceptionality.
Dr. Sally Reis: Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Connecticut, she has conducted extensive research on gifted and talented education, including twice-exceptional students.
Dr. James T. Webb: Founder of Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted (SENG) and an influential figure in the field of gifted education, including research on twice-exceptional individuals.
National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC): The NAGC publishes journals and articles related to gifted education, which may include content on twice-exceptional students.
"Gifted Child Quarterly" (GCQ): A journal that often features research on gifted education, including articles on twice-exceptionality.
"Journal for the Education of the Gifted": Another academic journal that may have relevant articles on the topic.
"Roeper Review": This journal often covers issues related to gifted education and may include articles on twice-exceptionality.
"Journal of Learning Disabilities": Some articles in this journal may address the intersection of learning disabilities and giftedness.
"2e Twice-Exceptional Newsletter": This publication focuses specifically on twice-exceptional individuals and could be a valuable resource.
"Twice-Exceptional Newsletter" by Dr. Susan Baum: Dr. Baum has been involved in producing resources and newsletters focused on twice-exceptionality for quite a while. She’s a major thought leader in gifted studies.
I hope this helps.
I’ll try to flow like a river on this issue, because it is that important.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
